Screaming is not appropriate in apartments
Running from problems is not appropriate in general
But I would **** to get away from all of this.

I hope it is just monthly hormones
Because if it is not
Things might continue to pile on until I cannot breath.

Slowly I am being lured to the soft blankets-
The comfort that a firm bed provides
Where the tears can flow freely

Beds do not judge you
They do not tell you that you are being dramatic
Because when the Darkness comes so does the drama

And it is not as if I can stop it;
Just tell myself to be happy -
I feel there would be fewer self inflicted deaths, if that were the case.

Soon I will stop talking as much,
Then I will stop smiling
And finally I will not be able to stop crying.

It is a blessing that I have a job
So that in the mornings
Someone might notice my absence if I did not wake up.

*How I wish I would not wake up