The spring air kisses my neck
like the ghost of a loved one.
I am comforted by her touch
but I still shiver
from time to time.

it’s funny how wax becomes translucent when it’s hot
and it reminds me of how i could see right through you
when things got tough and you couldn’t stick around
long enough to watch me burn but
you had no trouble lighting the fire

when you told me you liked
kissing my thighs
because they felt soft and warm
you took my biggest insecurity
and made it beautiful

and when you took my hands in yours
and told me we fit perfectly
i stopped thinking of myself
as a puzzle
and more like the missing piece

and when you left me
it hit harder than the rest
it was like swallowing fire
scorching my chest,
desperate to put the flames out
i tried drowning myself from inside

i drank so much
that i could not feel
my own hands,
but i still knew you
were not there to hold them
i don't know what hurt more
the hangover or the heartache

you planted so much sadness
into my veins
i thought about digging them out
i might pretend i am alright
but that knife in my heart
is still wedged in
so tight

you could have told me
i was nothing to you
before i made you my everything
you could have predicted
six more weeks of winter
instead of promising me spring

there are things that exist in the world
that we never think about
like the kelp forests in the ocean
and thousands of bird species in the trees
that surround us
we were made to be observers
and instead we reached out and touched
the exhibits that never belonged to us
we have strangled the Earth,
cutting down the very source of oxygen
and then ask why there’s no air to breathe
you cannot beat and bully a planet
and then expect it to renew itself
the same way you cannot
throw punches at your friends
and then ask for their embrace
when we have all come face to face
with the horrors of our human ways
our beautiful host will have rotted and decayed
i just hope there is no one there to picket that funeral

I've been spending most of my time
finding ways to feel fulfilled
but honestly I am twenty-two and life is a cycle,
monotonous,
i sleep more than i ever have before
and i avoid responsibility like
the plague.

to be worthy of someone's time would be great
but i am in a constant tug-of-war
with my standpoint on relationships.
yeah, having a partner could be fun
'cause i could belong to someone
and i guess now that i think of it,
that sounds exhausting.
i should go back to bed.

i stay up until 3:00 am,
listening to the same songs on repeat
tweeting my thoughts like a lost prophet
serving a sermon to her open palms
i'm hopeful you will think i'm clever
i want your attention,
not your surrender.

my mom tells me to be careful every time i leave the house
i shrug and say "yeah okay" but promise nothing else
we drink beer in basements and watch kids sing their hearts out,
only alive when it's dark out,
i end up on some foreign couch with two beards and a ukelele
you couldn't thrill me if you paid me.

i feel like a flower wilting, planted in soil that is toxic and dry. i could stretch my roots to reach nutrients and fresh water but i have no energy or desire to help myself. i see myself losing petals, depending on my neighbors to hold me up, and feeling like a slight breeze would be enough to rip me apart.