Kneeling in the hallway,
in front of the Men's bathroom.
I hope no one comes out as I pray.
Please,
do not let my sins catch up with me.
Not now.
Never.
I can hear the church bells
ringing in my ears.
The path is laid out.
My choice is to have three crucifixes on my night stand,
use my finger to paint them in the soot on my car.
This will be my protection.

It is not my heart that is breaking.

We are lost and ever abandoned.
You let the waves engulf me,
I'll let you think I drowned.

It is not my heart that is breaking.

All that shattered shall be mended,
You made the decision to let me fall,
I'll let you scatter the pieces.

It is not my heart that is breaking.

If you need someone to talk to,
I am not that person.
I am a liar.
I will let you fall through
space.
Colliding with ambiguous answers and
hidden agendas.
Secrets are my forte,
the tongue that becomes a serpent.
Hot fire,
blazing glory.  
I will tell the world that
we were both at fault.
You will be forgiven,
putting your faith in the wrong person.
Hands clasped in prayer,
waiting for the time to die.
Infinitely telling your secrets to the Almighty.
I am a liar.
Nothing will be forgiven.
Buried in a shallow grave,
underneath a false headstone.
Resting,
Waiting,
for my pardon.
Please,
do not give me a second glance.
You will turn me to salt.
Everyone gets hurt
when the square becomes a circle
Forget all memories of me.
Erase me from your world.
I will only tell you
what I believe.
Is that so wrong?
Why watch the world burn,
when you can start the fire?

Knocking on wood is cheap
when a fire is close to the surface
so call me a ****
if I don't care for your problems
take a problem make a problem break a few hearts
I had an epiphany
a revelation of sorts
we all have two voices in our head
(at least two)
yin to yang
moon to sun
one of them is overly positive
a naive buffoon talking about lovely flower power
the other
a sarcastic monster
a real *******
chirping in with
"You took that poor fellows order down wrong
you should probably go ahead and **** yourself."
now I know ****** is wrong
but I've been trying to get these two chaps to ****
artificial mental insemination
they haven't quite come to terms with each other yet
but we're getting there
until then,
I guess you could call me
absolutely bonkers

Timothy Baxter: An intellectual genius with the emotional intelligence of a five year old
so thank you for these closed lips
and thank you for the impeccable hair line
thank you for the one too many thoughts keeping me up at 4 AM
thank you for my 5'7 stature
and thanks for all the self-loathing
thanks for the rent
and thanks for making me love hating responsibility
thank you

Mary Hartley Baxter: not one who came from white picket fences and Sunday drives. A giver. A lover. A control freak
Thank you for these psyche wrecking nerves
the bowling ball taking up permanent residence in the pit of my stomach
Thank you for teaching me how to treat women
and thank you for the stubbornness which allows this arrogance
thank you for keeping my feet attached to planet earth
while my head sails among the billowing clouds
for telling me how handsome I am
thank you for teaching me what it means to be in a family
thank you for letting me be a loser sometimes
thank you

Harry J Baxter: the heroic coward with a funny joke in bad taste and the right words for the wrong times
anti hero of a story nobody else is aware of
thank you for abusing all those pesky substances, they surely deserved it
thank you for the black lungs
thank you for speeding down dead end lane at five hundred miles an hour
thank you for remembering your helmet
thank you for saving all the words we never said to those we love
thank you for hiding from the unknown to avoid the scars of failure
thank you for getting those scars anyway
just so we knew what they felt like
thank you for the writer's block.... You *******
but in all seriousness,
thank you for building up your tolerance to beatings
because they will continue until morale improves
thank you

It's a strange place - the real world - monsters lay in wait in every shadow around every corner
and yeah, you aren't the human being 2.0
but you're prepared enough to board up the windows before the hurricane
and Mum, Dad,
I can talk all the **** in the world
but all of it would be empty
because for as ****** up as I am
as ****** up as you both certainly are
we've made it this far
and ******* it
I can't see our sun setting anytime soon
so my naturally adapted cynical sarcasm behind me
Thank you for loving me no matter what
even when the well was so dry love was hard to find
Thank you.

Random Sampling

Coughing up a lung,
sticking out my tongue.
Looking up her skirt,
dropped my pencil in the dirt.
Watching movies just for fun,
I will never own a gun.
Cat **** on the floor,
kicked it out the door.
Jake The Snake and The Macho Man,
will forever be a wresting fan.
Heavy metal and hard rock,
Skid Row's singer was Sebastian Bach.
New Jersey's pizza is the best,
it would beat New York's in any taste test.
Slept with girls, I didn't like,
soon after, I made them take a hike.
Never slept with a man,
if the money was right, I guess I can.
Love all my family and friends,
mess with them and I will defends.
Done some killer drugs,
stuck screwdrivers in some plugs.
I love paper, I love pen,
I'm more smart than the Three Wise Men.
Pina Colada's in Margaitaville,
then I take the bitter pill.
I still love eighties music,
it's relaxing and therapeutic.
Baseball is my favorite sport,
the Phillies, I will always support.
The next Super Bowl will be held in San Quentin,
***** girls take it on the chin.
I had a few nervous breakdowns,
I've put on a few to many pounds.
Allen does what Allen wants,
how's that for my final response.

We like to sit together and eat
As a family.
I sit by myself towards the wall
With a half portion.

I'd like a cup of milk with it
And they oblige me.
The chicken is covered in fat
And I don't need that.

My weight means nothing to my gait--
I bounce like a cloud,
My head on my concrete-padded cell
That feel like giggles.

Out the doorway without a door
My friends keep an eye,
Because suicide is no joke
If I could stop laughing

I wanna nap-- no wait, I'll play.
I'll sit through this day
Til I get my shoe laces back:
Then I'll save my day

I drowned my sister twice,
Left hand, then the right.
Bubbles in the water like
A straw in Nesquik

Yeah, it was mean, but I'm nice, right?
We two are buddies,
You look and smell just like Shaggy,
Won't you play with me?

I drowned my sister twice
No, it wasn't nice.
And my brother drowned me must once
And that wasn't nice.

Once, lying under the cotton,
We were joined by Dad.
I kicked and scratched and screamed, "No, no!"
And then it's mumble.

My daddy proceeds to beet me,
And the his scratches...
My legs are boiling brown bruises,
But I'm still nice, right?

I drowned my sister twice
And fought off a shark.
My fists ****** from broken teeth
Start me towards shore.

The shark's mom and dad in pursuit,
I'm nearly done now
When a dolphin comes and saves me!
But never saved her.

I drowned my sister twice

its so what if i hate you
i still want you to take care
out of all fake love brought us
i just miss the way you stare
at me like you think ill stare back
now its impossible for you to do that
its hardest when i breathe out
all of the air from my lungs
while clinging to the bottom
of this lake trying hard to die from
either this pressure or whatever
this death brings first to measure
how much water i can keep in my lungs
its brought me nothing now
holding onto love like life
its so simple living now
life like the steady breeze
i am coming out of the water
a new man for living now
they said i can choose
anywhere i want to haunt
but i chose the same spot
where i used to kiss you
when i would walk you home
now every visitor that we get
gets this strange feeling
that i never had. of not being alone.

babe i didnt dance for reckoning.
i chanted for it and with my brethren
at the time: hand in hand on the hill

tasting carnal lust for the first night
we kissed to romance andto redwine
smoking out of the finest  rosemary and most potent tyne
i wish i could dream of my new love
because i found a brand new rose
and i got her good like the gods
they thought i deserve it i would
**** it up on the first time it came
to town because my baby well
she dont want me right now.
i just dream of you or less scary things maybe a funeral for two.
she says i scare her well just as well
i only have seven years
to live and die on this planet of hell

4 when i go to heaven. 777
i aint taking any angels with me
and its just as well   666

but imagine one could save me
an unstoppable redemption
i appreciate beauty in grandeur
divinity but yet i am banned in heaven - life is subliminal
i could be a blade for these seven
years maybe even for the Lord himself
would sin be outweighed by all of that death  
and that when i sit in purgatory
waiting to meet my makers
i got the chance to fill out an application
just like for one of my regular day jobs
it said apply to do it all over again
there would be only happiness
guilt free or worries negativities
and sorries. well BabyGirl i wouldnt
i would only start anew
and be different than you saw me
depending on how i saw you
from your video tape
depending on the look on your face
the nights i held you in our firey embrace
and determine if that was just
****