For the last two days I feel like I've been dreaming
Nothing could be better
Everything I have desired has come to me
Why is that
everyone I long for are all talking to me
The smell of rain on the pavement
(my favorite scent)
has filled the air
yet there is a hint of sun
oh and its so warm
the trees have leaves
and the flowers have bloomed

Is this nothing more than a dream
I wish these days would just stand still
I wish I could talk to him forever

Maybe forget all that was wrong before
This new found confidence is inside me
He makes me feel better than anyone has ever before

Am I falling in love
I don't know how to take this
I ache to talk to him
To see his green dot pop up on facebook
I feel so happy and so content
everything is going my way
can this please stay like this everyday
can this dream never end
Please I beg of you
don't return to my nightmare

I hate society
thanks to society I can't meet my boyfriend
thanks to society I can't meet my best friend
why you ask
they're from the middle east
and apparently everyone from the middle east is bad
well thats *******
just because of 9/11

I mean an American killed a bunch of little kids
at Sandy Hook
That doesn't mean all Americans are evil

We have security in place for a reason
what ******* is going to carry weapons on a plane
if they do a full body scan

Society is ****** up
But what can I do?

Before I was even born
my dad got a dog
A bull mastiff
He was the sweetest
he wasn't supposed to
live past
8 weeks
but he prevailed
he was my brother
he was my best friend
I put my trust into him
He laid his head on me
I was too young
to understand
why he had to leave
now its been six years
and I still miss him
could you blame me
He sits on my Dad's night
stand
in a gold tin
he lies on my dad's shoulder
in permanent ink
he stands near me
in a picture
actually quite a few
he holds a place
a huge one
in my heart
his name was Dozer
and this is for him

I want to be beautiful
I want to be smart
I want to be strong
I want to be kind
I want to be talented
I want to be brave
I'm scared of the person I may become
I want to be someone else
I want to love myself
No stop
I am beautiful
and I'm not fake
I am smart
smarter than I think
I am strong
strong as an ox
I am kind
gentle and fair
I am talented
arts and music are where its at
I am brave
I've gone through so much yet I'm still here
I like the person I have become
I want to be myself
not anyone else
I love myself
and everything I am
yes I may be different
a little crazy I might add
But I'm happy with who I am
You don't have to like me
but please don't take
as long as I did to realize
all those good qualities
love yourself
because of you
not because of what others make you out to be

Bored Bored Bored Bored Bored
Bored Bored Bored extremely bored
still pretty bored bye

once i was depressed
now i am not
once i was anxious
now i am not
once i was in love
that has not stopped

Screaming and crying
like a child i am
pushing him away
telling him to stop
my eyes burn from tears
my voice is tired of crying
he forces his fingers inside of me
I was fourteen
only 5 foot 2
115 pounds
he puts his arm
on my neck
choking me
I go silent
He stares into my eyes
I finally wiggle myself out of his arms
i run
to the end of the street
I scream and cry
like a child i am
why isn't anyone saving me
or can they even hear me