I don't want your pity
so please stop giving it to me
no i don't have the best life
nor the best luck
but if im sad
I don't want your pity
i want you to make me laugh

They made us wear these yellow stars on our coats
they took our treasures then our homes
they came to get us on a humid summer day
my feet burned
my children cried for water
They shoved us into a cattle car
eighty in each
we would relieve ourselves in the corner
we couldn't lay down
we took turns sleeping
why did we think we would be okay?
My  second youngest she was 2 tugged on my coat
"Momma, what is happening?" She asked
I didn't know what to tell her
I held all of them close
Marie, she was 6
Grace, she was 4
Lacey, she was 2
None of us even knew.
My husband
sat staring into space
My poor son only 13 didn't look dazed at all
the train pulls to a stop
they hit us with rocks and whips, club, sticks
My Grace pulled my sleeve
She pointed
A pit
A pit of fire
Then the factory
It smelled of death here
There were words only eight of them
"Woman to the left. Men to the right."
I picked Lacey up in one arm
Grace in the other
Marie held on to my coat
We all left
my husband and my son held hands
That was the last time I saw them in the physical world.
The SS made us take our clothes off
And told us to run
Then one by one they asked us questions
Our age
"45" I said
"6" said Marie
My little girls stayed quiet
Not because they didn't want to say
Because they were not asked.
They pointed for The little ones and I to go to the right
Pointed for Marie to go left.
Marie grabbed me.
She wanted to go with us
So she did
Why, right?
We went
we were told we were getting a shower
They shoved thousands of us into a cold room.
All of the sudden gas filled the room
We suffocated
until
we
all
died
I rose from my body and stared around.
Why such cruelty? I wondered
My girls rose from their bodies too
We stared around looking for answers
Answers that will never be answered.
A light appeared and we followed
to Heaven
seven months later my husband appeared
nine months later it was my son
Never forget
Always remember
6 million numbers

Her brown eyes staring deep into my soul
She blinks slowly
I put my hands behind her neck
pull her close
kiss her nose
her cheeks
I lean in and kiss her lips
she turns
perfectly fitting us together
her hands just above the end of my pants
my hands run through her hair
She pulls away and stares into my eyes again
our kisses are the best

I'm pretty sure you're going to say " no"
but I thought I would ask just so I know
so that thing coming up in March
whats it called again?
Oh that's right the semi-formal.
So you see all of my best friends are either
iar or too cool for dances.
and you well you're pretty cute
and super sweet I know this is a stupid question
and I'm going to get a "no"
but I feel as though I should ask this just to be positive...
will you go with me?
or at least save me one dance?

Dear you, yes I'm speaking to you.
Did you know you're special
talented, pretty,smart,
and superb. You're everything
I wish I could be yet you don't
want to be you.
You're funny and witty.
Someone who will let me
cry on their shoulder.
You're strong and courageous.
The light at the end of the darkest tunnel.
I love you I promise till the end of time.
I'll be here to wipe away your tears and say.
Baby, you're beautiful way too much to cry I love you
princess chin up buttercup :

Bundled under her black and white comforter knowing her alarm will ring any second. Wraps the blanket around herself and rocks herself out of bed. Right as she does the alarm starts to ring. She tells it to shut up as she turns the switch to off. She goes out into the kitchen no one is up yet. Grabs herself a packet of oatmeal (Always strawberries and cream) She likes it thick and lukewarm with a glass of milk. While shes out there her dad comes out makes his coffee then leaves.After she eats her breakfast she slowly makes her way to her bedroom. The night before she lied out an outfit. Skinny Jeans and a purple button down shirt. She looks at herself in the body mirror by her dresser and pinches the fat around her hips and stomach. She takes off her fleece shirt and pants. She puts deodorant on and sprays herself with "Our moment" she put her shirt then her pants on. Goes into the bathroom. And brushes her red hair back into a messy bun. She applies her favorite makeup on her freckled face and her favorite lip balm on her small lips. She brushes her teeth with one of her eight toothbrushes and Colgate toothpaste. She runs into her room and puts her black flats on. Puts on her red jacket with the fur trim and walks out the door.  "Oh ****" she thinks "I forgot my back pack" She runs inside and grabs it. She makes her way to the bus stop. By the time she gets there everyone is there. About five minutes later the bus shows up. The bus is freeeezzzinnggg because the bus driver doesn't heat the bus. She sits in the seat still bundled up. A little later Aaron and Lori get on the bus. Aaron pushes her over and lies on top of her. Soon after the baybridge kids get on and it gets extremely loud. She talks to Brandie Logan Hannah and Aaron until the bus comes to her highschool. She walks off the bus and into the school. She walks to the cafeteria and puts her stuff down. She sees her best friend and walks around the school for what seemed like an hour. She sees her crush by his locker and tries to hide but he sees her and waves. She smiles and waves back shily. Soon after her class starts. Then she has lunch with him. She sits on her friends lap because there are no seats left. She checks her pockets for a dollar for a bagel but has none. One more class left. She finishes her school day and gets on the bus. (Pretty much the same thing but this time They have to pick the Jr high kids up) She gets to the bus stop and gets off of the bus. HOLY CRAP its freezing she thinks as she starts to walk home. Once she gets to her house she opens the door. She throws her stuff down and runs to the bathroom because she really has to go. Once shes done that she watches t.v. for a few hours. While procrastinating doing any homework or chores.  Finally at about 5 she decides to get some **** done... After dinner she washes the dishes and this one day asks to go on facebook. Her dad says yes so she goes on. She continuously sees Jessica's picture on facebook and tries to hold the tears in. After awhile she can't anymore. She asks her dad to take a shower but the real reason she wants to take a shower is so she can sob without people hearing her. Her dad says no though. She goes into her room and tries to find a razor.... nothing. She grabs a rock that for some reason appeared on her night stand.She srapes her arms over and over. She scratches fat into her stomach. she outlines the word Jess into her arm then crosses it out. Jess is gone she thought. She lies on her bed under the covers and silently cries until she falls asleep.

Someday I'll be okay
these dark cloud will go away
I won't have to cry all the days
they'll say I rule
they'll say I'm cool
they won't think I'm invisible
One day I'll be warmed by sunshine
one day I will be fine
but right now
I am not fine
and the sun doesn't shine.
not on me it doesn't
not on me
all I have is this storm cloud
and my invisibility powers