Your
Last
I
Love
You
Sounded
More
Like
An
I'm
Sorry



                               B.S.

the night was black velvet,

and you were a castle.

I don't believe in God,
I believe in me.

Because
the only thing
that scares me
more than a God
is myself.

I am
so many people
that I can't even
keep track of
myself.

I am
group-******
ideas, personas,
smiles, images;
fractions of a being.

Phantom in plain sight.

I am a joke.
I am *******.
I make you laugh,
so you can't hear me.
I sell you someone else
so you don't see me
as I stand before you.

I am the ghost.

So, so many
voices
but none of them
are mine.

**** me
to pieces,
then gather
what fits.

It never does.
It never does.

The tent fly
flapped
in the
Arizona dream.

I fell out
of the door.
Saying,
"I should be
dead soon."

My bleeding feet
stained the
brown sugar sand.

And God
was everywhere;
in my cuts.
In me.
In us.

And God
was nowhere;
absent-hearted-
blood-kissed-
consciousness.

My hands gripped
at the cheeks
bordering thin lips.
I kissed the
Arizona dream
as if it were
my own.

If it were my own.
If you were my own.

One day a year, we decide to be kind
To show our love for one another,to be pure of mind.

We laugh and smile, a day to rejoice;
Though is one day a year the only choice?

Why not be kind all year long,
Show your love and bliss to those you're among?
Can't we retain the better half of our humanity within our hearts?
If humanity consists only of this hypocrisy, I want no parts!

One day to show your love, one day to be pure;
Tis the truth, there is no cure.
We're destined to live in shambles,
To never experience true gambols.
It's sad to say, we're nothing but lies;
So I have one thing left to say: my final goodbyes.
Learn from humanity's mistakes;
Do not let your heart be filled with petty aches.
Love your life, so when you die
You may leave in peace, with a blissful goodbye.

Did he make you smile so much your cheeks were sore?
No.
Did he kiss you the way the sun kisses the horizon at sunset?
No.
Did he ever get so lost in your eyes that the only way to release him from the trance was by closing your eyes?
No.
Did his hands shake at the thought of losing you?
No.
Did he ever admit when he was wrong?
No.
Did he want you and only you?
No.
Did he tell you that you meant so much to him that if he lost you, his whole world would collapse?
No.
Did he send chills up your spine the moment his skin touched yours?
No.
Did he allow you to be free to make your own decisions?
No.
Did he make you the center of his world?
No.
Did he love you more than you loved him?
No.
Did he allow you to free yourself from him so that you could be happy?
No.
Did he remind you of how much he loves you everyday?
No.


I'm sorry, but he never loved you.




                              B.S.