In their discombobulated lives no matter what occurs
Mrs Um and Mr Er never quite concur
Continually at loggerheads
Sparring is their game
Life like this is normal now
Really it's a shame

Mrs Um for her hols wants to fly to Spain
Mr Er would prefer Turkey on the train

Mrs Um would like a dog, what he says to that
Is well now let me see, er, I think we need a cat

Where to put the cross this time
I don't know do you
Mrs Um votes red
Mr Er votes blue

So they end up doing nothing
As on nothing they agree
How they ever got together
Certainly beats me

Steam escapes the surface
Of infant mince pies.
It spirals upwards, dancing
Into the winter haze
Where headlights, opaquely visible,
Fight the fog.

The mist flurries atop the frozen pond,
Over brittle leaves, half caught.
The deer nuzzles in frosty thickets,
Searching the winter veil
For stray nut.

‘neath the tap my hands endure
The bitter cold of winter’s water;
But happily I return to my window,
And cast a gaze once more on winter Britain.
The fire leaves a smoky essence,
A homely smell.
December come.

Stop showing
You love me
A little at a time.

Stop saying
You care
Bit by bit.

Stop keeping
Me here
For tiny pieces of time.

Because I need
All of you
Not piece by piece.

I love
All of you
Not just some parts of you.

So love all of me
All the way
All the time.

Or let all of me go
All at once
For good.

I say your name.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
All in hopes that the very mention of your name,
will bring you back.
Every sound,
every syllable,
flows from my broken heart,
unto lips chapped from tears.
Four times.
Five.
Repetition after repetition.
I know it wont work.
But your name gives me comfort.
Wraps me in memories.
Protects me.
Do you think of me where you are now?
I know you do.
Taken by the angels that cold october night.
Each star in the sky,
A new member taking flight.
Hit with the impact of incredible force,
I feel you.
I feel every hug,
every sisterly shove,
and it all comes back to me.
Nostalgia rushes in and we are together.
You never left me.
You never will.
Not a sisters on earth,
but sisters in the sky
Forever and always,
You will always be mine.

all of my dreams have been about kissing you
                                                                         or dying.
it's haunting to know that these two things are what i have been craving most.
even more haunting is the fact that i cannot have both,
                                                                                        i have to choose.
                                          theme
there has been a common             in my life:
                                                                       choices have been
                                                                                                    my downfall.

since i have had this terrifyingly awesome power of choice i have abused it.
i have used it for nothing but personal gain,
                                                                      personal harm.
once i learned of the ability i posses to harm
it has overwhelmed me.
when i cause another grief it haunts me,
                                                                pursues me to my dreams and beyond.

guilt is a motivating factor in my life.
not more so than love,
                            hate.
but it is still powerful.

                                  i am not able to function properly.
                                  i get drunk
                                  i pass out on the couch
                                  i fall asleep with cigarettes burning in my hands
                                  i break my own heart, but watch out
                                  i'll break yours too.

right now, I sit curled up on my couch, under a warm blanket shared with my swear heart
we listen to the soft roar of the crackling fire
feel its heat radiating from across the room
the reflection of an old christmas movie on our happy faces
black and white couples flashing across the screen
a girl with a present
a man with a cigar
a child looking at the toys through the window
it all looks so nice on our flat screen

the steam from our hot cocoa starts to fog up the screen
the acting wasn't that great anyway, might as well turn it off

"you wanna listen to She and Him, I have their new christmas album on vinyl."
I laugh at his hipster-ness
"of coarse"
"rockin' round the christmas tree"
he knew I loved Zooey's voice

"care to dance?" his voice like butter
and who can resist butter??

we glide across the carpet, almost stepping on the pets
everything was so perfect in his eyes
as they were inches closer and starting to close
I guess I should be doing that too

CONTACT

it was sweat like candy canes at first then salty like a ritz *******
but still good
we stumble over back to the couch, Little Saint Nick playing
the blanket is long gone now

I can feel his burning hands messing with my bra
his mouth caressing my collar bone
its off, along with every other piece of our clothing
now the tv screen is covered with a different steam
the cocoa spilled on over my legs
his hand on my head pushing me downward
hes too strong

just as I was about to give him something he would never forget we hear something from the fire place
it startled us both
after the black dust flittered down we saw two little black boots
and then heard the grunting of a man, much different than mine or my boyfriend's
could it...
no thats impossible!
is it?


before I could question what was going on he was there, in the room with us
santa
his face soon turning red after realized what he had stumble in on
he didn't say anything though, just walking over to the tree and put some small packages down
then left
as he rode away we could hear him shout
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

well this is awkward