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Those nights without sleep.
Endless gazes trying to find one in another.
Plans that faded, promises that were never kept.
Embraces that came with a sense of security.
Reassurance awaiting any doubt.
unconditional favors.
Non of it which is now acknowledged
It had to be a lie.
The memories that remain are to good to have been true.
Only to be locked in your brain, without a word to be spoken.
I die a little inside when you dont reply.
This bruises the pride.
I cant believe i still think we were real.
How did i ever create such a lie?
Love, the double edge sword of inspiration.
lightning bolts are striking through my body. my adrenaline is as fresh as carbonation and i feel bittersweet.
he was drunk, and he was high.

he slapped me. he slapped me again. and again, and again and he ******* slapped me once again.

i cried.

he said, “welcome to the movies.”

my stomach shifted.

i bled.

he said, “i want to taste your blood.”

i cringed.

he lit up a cigarette, and began burning me. he made me strip and get in the corner naked. he spit in my face and rubbed a leftover jack in the box taco in my face and told me i was nothing. i felt helpless.

he made me lay on the floor and he beat me with a torch lighter.

my body ached.

he then  got on top of me and asked, “are you afraid of me?”

i stood there silent.

he asked, “do you want this to end now or would you like to suffer?”

silent.

he came down off of the spice and wine, cried. burnt his genitals with a cigarette. layed in bed and fell asleep.

i crept out of his apartment and ran barefoot with nothing but a t-shirt on.


**i am now ****** up in the head.
i am the never ending emptiness in your stomach when you're hungry but you can't bring yourself to eat.
i am the pounding of your heart before it bursts inside of your chest from the overdose of ******* you've blown into your brain.
i am the purple around your eyes after you've hit yourself in the face ten times with all of your might.
i am the steam coming out of your ears, the blood vessels popped in your eyes, the rupture of your eardrum.
you will give me your heart and i will throw it in my blender with my oreo ice cream and slurp down every last drop, then later i'll just **** it out.
my mind is just an ongoing stepping stool.
I've gone out
To tie rocks around my
Ankles
I've gone out
I won’t be back to cook
Dinner
I've gone out
I plan to jump tonight
Tonight
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