I dream of greener Pastures
Of sunkissed flowers
O light and playful air

I dream of greater days
Spent in the sun
Kissed by its sweet rays

I dream of unending happiness
of joy overflowing
Of cups filled to the brim
Sweet necter pouring over

I dream of brighter days
where even the night is illuminated
the monsters stay out of sight
For I stand with overwhelming might

So I  smile even as I am bested
And I laugh as my posessions are from me wrested.
Because my dream is my own
in it I can be happy

My muscles go on aching
My heart feels forever laiden
So I dream Of greener pastures
For I may never see them in my waking hour.

Snowflakes coat the world  
In a frosted embrace  
Though beautiful,  they're cold
Banishing warmth to disgrace  

Stress abounds in this season
Riddling ones heart with doubt  
The blade needs no reason
For an attack to mount

Though I may not be there with you
Through distance or the hard hand of fate
Through this  I do for you
That my affection may never be late


In this cup, a place I stake
For the warmth of my heart  
With every sip you partake
Know you are ever in my thoughts

I knew not your face,
Your form, your embrace
I knew not if the echo I felt  
was real or fake,
I could have made a mistake
As I continued to be unable to relate
to meet or satiate the hunger that in  me, ached.

You were a fevered dream
had from a mind that was  
coming apart at its seams  
alone in this desert  
you were the thought
Locked away like water on a dry day.

You were a sense  
a hope, a presence
that from my fingertips eloped
a ghost, like the echo of the sweetest note.
struck strong at first but then you vibrated
time passing as you were negated.  

I was a prisoner  
who thought it was fated
that I be relegated  
to this place
this space, where I would remain in disgrace

In the darkness of my mind you were a ray  
A light, a beacon shining in the night
but you were faint, just enough to taint
but not repaint my dreary soul in color.

but you were the inception of the rain
the first drop falling to the thirsty grain
the first sweet taste on the tongue
the first beat of music on the drum
the echo of a song silently hummed

With you the walk was then justified
the journey then ended
the effort finally expended
The burded dropped to the still dust
and the sore muscles finally rested

But most of all
you were a  reminder
that a heart need not be heavy
that I could learn to love again.

It feels like just the other day, that we soundlessly lay.
Our bodies intertwined, as we lovingly dined on each others presence.
It seems like just yesterday, that we so easily displayed affection.
That our faces were a mirrored reflection of the love we felt.  
Where pleasure sprung at the mere inflection of our voices.
And there was no sweeter name than that of the other.

It feels so odd to sit here and feel your phantom beside me.  
Like an ice sculpture in a warm room, you seem to dull by the day.
Is it that I am so besotted with greed.
This need to remember your voice or the color of your hair.  
Life continues and I can sometimes forget the regret.  
Or the dread I feel in wishing we hadn't met.  

But it is trying to remember how good it felt.
That reminds me of the cruelty that we were dealt.
Because they said that time to erase the pain.
That it would ease the strain of it all.
But you are still a statue of ice in my hall.
Melting where you once stood tall.

I guess I wish I could see you again.
But if I did what would I say.
Would we unknowingly pass each other on our ways.  
I know I would be aware of you.
Even if I pretended not to notice.

You left in a car, looking behind, at me standing in the road.
As the distance flowed, I dimmed into a dot.
How long did you look for me before you forgot.
Because I thought of you a lot.  
I was left behind, and the baggage weighed on my mind.
Because sometimes I can find my peace of mind.
And I guess that lessens the grind.

What do I know of desire.
Of the sweet nectar that dribbles from a wanting heart.
What do I know of fulfillment.
Of the sweet balm that soothes an aching heart.
All that I know is of rejection.
Kindness like a delicate butterfly pulled apart.

Oh the sorrow of the soul.
The need that inside of me grows  
That I may do more than awkwardly stare.
That I may be more than I would hope to dare.

But it is not meant to be.
For I am not a star to hope to twinkle in the night sky.
These chains that hold me down
Like a vindictive enemy force me to see
All that I would hope to be

So my honey so sweet turns sour on the tongue
My ache grows larger, the scar becoming ever long  
And as I try to reach, try to be try to assuage this need.
I parade like a clown, laughed at never to be taken seriously.

So what is desire to me.
Viper I call you for what you truly are.
for the venom you sink into me with each bite
poisons my soul such that I dare to hope.
But there is nothing there left to catch me.  
So I fall into disappointments miserable sea.

Long is the journey
Short is my breath
Deep is my yearning
Dark is my health

Sorrow sits in my belly
Sadness is my helm  
Grief is the valley  
In which lies my realm

Am I build or demolished
Am I made strong or brittle
Am I scratched or polished
Am I made big or little

I hold on to the hope
That I will be better
Though the more I mope
My tears only make me wetter

The day of rest
The promised land  
If I only pass this test
It will all be put on my hand

But what of the loss
What of my innocence
That I leave on the cross
For this transcendence

Day by day
I feel the darkness coming
In my soul it lays
And I hear its sinister humming

I am changed
As my trials mold me
But from my emotions I feel estranged
I have lost them in agonies sea

I walk on damaged
More brittle than when I started  
It was not my will that was challenged
Not my character that was charted  
But from my humanity was I parted
And now I am worse than when I started

It's like a whisper in the ear
I fear it is there and then gone
Appearing in the edge of the eye
The  whole what could have been song.

I ran and then stumbled
I tried and then bumbled
And in that failure I wished that i could
That I would have done as I should.

I wish that I had known
And from that knowlege boldness had grown
That early seed I could have then sown
For in hindsight now my failure I bemoan.

For the opportunity now has come and passed.
And no matter how I wish it would only last.
I am left aching for another chance
But it is to the empty air I feebly grasp.  

The glory of the bygone
The chance of the days past
Is the cloak of shame that I cannot cast
The ache that I can never satiate
Of the feeling that I was too late.