I read things she wrote about you and her today.
And every word broke my heart.
I thought I could trust you.
But now, I have every reason not to.

I have every right to throw every little bad thing about you in your face.
To curse and scream and say things that will make you hurt as badly as I am.

But for some reason I can't bring myself to do so.
I cant make your heart ache like mine.
And even though vengeance is calling, I won' t fall into temptation.

Because I truly love you.
It's hard though because I'm suppose to be the hard *** that doesn't care about anything or anyone.

When it came to you, I couldn't be that person.

But now I can't be anything.
Because I feel like nothing.

The only thing I can think about is

all of the time I invested in you
and all the trust I had given you.
and every piece of my heart I let you caress,
But you went and threw it all away.
because it was meaningless to you, wasnt it?

The worst part of it all is that you dont even know that I know.
So for the sake of you and I,
I wont bring it up.
I'll play pretend and act like everything is fine and dandy.

I wont let you know how badly you have hurt me or how much I cared about you.
I wont let you hear me cry "how could you do this to me" or about how shattered I am.

I'll say "hey babe!" when I answer the phone and when you ask how I am
I'll tell you that I'm missing you.
Because no matter how much pain I'm in,
that will always be the truth.

And when you say you love me I'll say "I love you too"
Because no matter how badly you hurt me,
that will always be the truth too.

Soft and warm
Sealed with care
Sweet and kind
Will ever share
Brave and strong
Yet so fair
That is her
She's always there

Sensitive
to despair
Harkens to
others welfare
Delicate
she's elsewhere
Beautiful
beyond compare

If you meet her
Best Beware
She'll steal your heart
unaware
Her name is **
This I swear
There's none like her
anywhere

no one is perfect...


loving her might make me...
but after time we will see...

if she truly love me...? ♥
i will give her my honesty...
in haven she will be...
in my heart i will call her "ur majesty"
above all and absolutely me...


but if she not!!!! :(
its right that...
My dreams will fade,
my hopes will die,
i will be like a broken fly

but
from my heart she will be free

'Just get over it, ' they say
I wish I could find a way
Living with it day by day
Memories won't go away

Medication helps to sway
Many feelings of dismay

but inside of me
i cry like the rain season in may
.........
just why ? please tell me why ?
u left me alone in our love sky
just lonely without saying goodbye
leaving me in the shadows of life
knowing that u will make me cry
and without u i will probably die ?


tell me why it have to be like this ?
tell me why ? is there some thing i had missed??

emotionally drained
past calling back
echoing all around
haunting and foreboding
threatening to reemerge
or is it just past expectations
past fears,
that I place over the present
though these words
are frighteningly familiar
too close to heart
to ignore
too close to past pain
past insecurities
to not worry,
not worry that it is
all too true
not worry that
the pattern will continue
that it really is cause of me -
the mine shaft is
closing all around

I chase after time, day after day after day.
Yet time forever eludes me, always running away.
It has the speed of the wind, with an incredible pace.
And always leaves me behind, in this never-ending race.
No matter how much I run, I’ll never be as fast.
I may catch up for awhile, but I can never last.
Time is always in front, and it is always ahead.
It has long since ran over, the path that I now tread.
Yet although chasing after time, is impossibly tough.
I will continue to chase time, cause I haven’t chased enough.

9/24/11

Your lips
Were the first thing I noticed
Gently parted
Breathing in and out

Oh to be your words
Conceived within your mind
Born upon your lips

Poetry.

Your lips are ******* poetry.

I just sat there
And
Kept on sitting 
Staring at the tombstone
Kept on sitting
Half-life; newly alone
I just sat there 
Because
I had nothing left to do
Without you.