I left,
she slept
in my bed,
dropped a note
on the desk,
"Thanks for
the night
you'll be gone
when I'm off
here's hoping
we're still
friends"

I don't have an idol.
I just idilize
The idea of
Being idolized.

I get caught in my own webs
failure designs drawn in my head
put down in full color
no more
no more
they jump from blue prints
to actions
to my lapse in intuition
but lucky for me
I never finish anything
I never finish
I never
I

Everyone's caught on
humans try to
play god
who doesn't exist

Who needs heavenly
voices
when you can get a
text message
from yourself
the day after you dropped
acid
that reads,
"cherish these moments
be happy as a component
in a world made of
patterns"

Maybe when I die
they'll jettison  my body
out past Saturn
so I can escape from
this atmosphere
of looming endings
and juvenile fears

I believe in the cosmos
where no one has
a throne
or a bigger house to
not call a home

out in the asteroids
wealth doesn't matter
neither does gender
or whose abs are flatter
I hope when
I'm drifting
that my spirit doesn't shatter
like the plates I dropped
staring in the mirror

Seeing myself
through the eyes
of someone who loves me
my fingers dusty
from the space debris
created by my
body

Your smile's liked a syringe
you melt me down
then it ***** me in
injected in to
your deepest vein
so I can sit in your brain

I hope I'm addictive
that you can't live without me
it may sound selfish
I'm tired of being selfless
don't doubt me

I guzzled down a cigarette
even though I "quit"
three weeks in
had me going strong
four weeks had me sayin'
"****, nothing makes sense"
along with a favorite song
one slip turned into
a repeat
bad habit