The closet light stays on at night,
the door it stays ajar.
I am not scared just well prepared,
and it has worked so far.
No monsters roared or have explored,
my bedroom as I slept.
And if they did they'd meet the kid,
they'd wish they had not met.
For they you see would run from me,
as I jump from my bed.
My teeth I'd bare and pull their hair,
and make them cry instead.
The door now locked their escape blocked,
there's nowhere left to run.
They look at me and plainly see,
my shiney new toy gun.
With rubber darts aimed at their hearts,
they fall down on their knees.
And beg me so to let them go,
adding a pretty please.
They cry and shout please let us out,
and we will not come back.
Ok I say now go away,
and don't forget to pack.
Bag up the fluff and sticky stuff,
you keep behind the door.
And take the smell and slime as well,
you spilled upon the floor.
Later that night when tucked up tight,
so safe and warm in bed.
I close my eyes and realise,
It was all in my head.