Same
****
Different
Day

"Everyday I wake up, hit the snooze button,  go to school, get ****** at my immature friends, or at the school, go home, write poetry, and go to sleep."
Every one
Is stuck in this rut
We can't get out
It starts when were little
Routine is pounded in our heads
Routine
Routine
ROUTINE
ROUTINE
Get in a pattern
Don't get out
All we need
Is a new start
Get out of this prison
This rut
Our prison
SSDD
Is poisoning us
Put in our water
Fed to the young
The water in the fountains
All we are
Is a new disorder

Thats how everything starts
Brand new
And this new thing
Making me happy

I know
I'm a turn off
To you
And I may not
Be perfect
I know I'm not
But I wanna
Be yours

Turn off my emotions, they hurt my heart too much.

rain
is all
the people
who have died
crying
for those
who
are doing
wrong

blades
are
stuck
in
my
skin
and
all
I
can
say
Is
I'm
sorry

I'm risking my freedom, for your kiss.

The string going through my backpack, is the one I will end up killing me.

How can I be in love with a boy that looks at his phone more than me.

I'm going to kiss you, maybe you'll know then.

I'm allergic to dogs, but I keep three because I love them, maybe thats why I still put up with you.

Holding your hand, was the best thing to ever happen to me so far.

I fell in love with you, it happened so fast, now I'm face down crying.

Every time I see your face, my heart beats faster.

I swear to god, I have the lock to open up your locked heart.

Watching my best friend
Stumble through the halls
Seeing her, make all
these bad choices
I can’t help
But to think
Why do I love you
My best friend
Since seventh grade
October twenty first
In gym
You gave me pills
When you were in
A lacy bra
I didn’t dare look down,
below your waist
Because I
Was a good christian girl
Not knowing
Why I was
Attracted to you
Thinking I was
Sinning
Until in
8th grade
When I
was Dared to
Kiss you
And That
Sealed
My fate
And now I can’t
Escape
Watching my best friend
Stumble through the halls
Seeing her, make all
these bad choices
I can’t help
But to think
Why do I love you
My best friend
I love you ******

Your warmth
Put me
In a corner
I felt like
You had me
Against a wall
And I would have
Let you
Keep me
Warm
All over

Your warmth
Made me dizzy
Made me yours
I was Ready
To let you
Have me

Your warmth
Got me drunk
You
Got me
Intoxicated
From
The warmth
Of your hand

And now
I want all
Of you

I will give you
whatever
you want

You
intoxicate
me

Forever
Sitting
Alone
Missing
The nights
When
I couldn't
Stop talking
To people
But now
Its just me
Alone
To think
*About how much you don't think of me

Dont tell me you like me when it's obvious you dont
Dont act so sweet when there is a screen between us
Dont tell me Im beautiful when you never look at me
Ive been pouring my heart out to you and all I get is ok
But its not
Its not okay
Im not okay we are not okay
Its not okay that my friends are telling me to leave you
Its not okay that every time I see you my heart breaks a little more
Its not okay that I have to write this out so I can get it all out and not hide this and that behind my curtain

My arms cry red
Through narrow slits
It's the most genuine type of cry
Only the ones that feel the need to die
Truly know how to cry this cry
Red tears
stream down
covering me

I have been aquatinted with the bad
Wearing low cut shirts to show the world
Short skirts, giving more than a stripper
I have skipped school to steal hearts
I have hurt many
Only to pity myself
I have tried to drown the pain
I found myself at the bottom of every bottle
and then some
I have walked lonely halls
trying to avoid the all knowing teachers eyes
But
I have let my self
Become aquatinted with the bad

This is not a love note
Folded into a tiny paper square
This is no love note
saying check yes or no
no way is this a love note
saying my love for you
is a beautiful thing
this can't be some elementary love note
passing by
passing by the unsuspecting teacher
This is no middle school love note
Shoved in your locker
No way would I write how I feel
Trying to put it all on paper
No way I'm not passing you a love note

Words stuck in my head
A spinning carousel
I'm falling down to hell
I need help
Please help
I'm drowning
I'm drowning
*and i cant save my self

You tell me you like me
When you see me falling for him
He says "I love you"
Every time he sees me
And I say it back
Ready to give away my heart
But then
I get a folded note
From you
and it made me cry
emotions so raw they ripped at my skin
And you both grab my hand at every chance you get
Both of your hearts on the line
What do I do
Tell me
What can I do for you
But keep in mind
He loves me too

Cut me down with my knife
Burn me with my lighter
Strip off everything thats me
Try to make me a perfect little you
Well guess what
perfect
isnt real
Another thing
I'm not you
SO stop trying to live vicariously through me
"mother"

The lighter I lit my first cigarette with
The lighter that gave me my first burn
The lighter that I drew band logos on
The lighter my best friend gave me
The lighter my best friend stole for me
The lighter that was in my pocket when I kissed a girl for the first time
The lighter I still keep even though it doesn't light
The fire that accidentally set my carpet on fire
The lighter that guided me through the tunnels
The lighter that fell out of my pocket when I kissed the boy I loved
The lighter I love
The lighter who's love is not returned
The lighter that fell on the floor in class
The lighter that got me written up
My lighter
The lighter I can't refill
The lighter with no purpose
Only memories
The lighter
My lighter
My perfect lighter

One broken battered bruised heart for sale
In need of a good person
Needs to be healed
May have a bit of problem
With trust
And love
**Please just take it from me

One best friend is needed
*Will pay in long night phone calls
Endless sleep over
Unbroken promises
Coming over at three a.m. with ice cream
Talking trash on stupid boys
Crying all night
Sharing hopes and dreams

listen to me
the girl
  who's tried
   to end it all
    four times
     its not worth is
      to wake up
       it a hospital bed
        not able to breath on your own
         its not worth it
          to lift up
           your skirt
            and see
             the cut
              that truly
               almost end you
                i thank whatever
                 was looking over me
                   because if
                    no one was there
i wouldn't be here either

Dying
Crying
All this why-ing
Can I just be alone
My eyes hurt
Hands shaking
All my thought fill this room
One minute of happy
Is all I'm asking
My fake smile
Isn't enough anymore
Tears pour
Blood shot eyes
Don't worry
I'm fine
Or maybe I'm not
Maybe all this
Is my plea for you
I'm dead inside
Or maybe I'm just
A spark
I need a light
Your burning flame
And maybe
I'll be
Alive again

Sitting here
Let me disappear
Let me become the dirt on your shoes
You said to me
We were the flowers and the bees
And now I’m dying without you
Withering with to much emotion
Yet you won’t look at me
I was once ‘you’re precious daisy’
But now I’m left here dying
Dying and crying
Without you
Sitting here
Let me disappear
No longer a problem

Dont ever tell me
that you dont get
what I spell out for you
because I'll put it out there till you get
I
L
O
V
E
Y
O
U

I
feel
HUGE
I
Step
On
The
Scale
And
The
Numbers
Turn
Into
Three
Letters
That
Spell
F
A
   T

If your have been waiting
for a reason
to do something that scares you
take this
as a sign
that you need to do it

It's sad
When the boy you like
His best friend
wants you guys
to be together
almost as much
as you do

Dear darling
I love the way you smile
The way you laugh
The weird little things you do with your hands
The way you are so afraid but so wanting
I love you

If
A
Kiss
Is
Planted
On
Your
Lips
Will
I
Be
In
The
Wrong

I will hide my heart
So you wont be afraid

Antisocial
but social

My mind is racing
At an unusual pace
This is make me cry
This is making me lie

My innocence hides from me like a child
Making me search for it
Slowly making me go wild
It makes me crazy
Sating nothing will faze me
But you do
You make make me scared
Pulling me from here to there
Pulling me from hell and back
You thrill me
You scare me
My innocence hide from me like a child
And now I’ve gone wild

If I could save one life

If I could save one life
I would not shed my tears

If I could stop that razors
I would not follow in shame

If I could wipe away the tears
Mine would not follow

Can a girl
     Who hates herself
          Love another
               No?
Or do you think so?
     Am I capable of wrapping my arms around you
          And whispering sweet nothings?
               Or maybe I can only do that with my razors
Maybe thats how I show love
     The deeper the cuts
          The deeper the love

Chronically
The bullies
Chose the victims
The innocent
Or not so innocent
The ones who need more protection
The ones, needing more care
The fragile beings, with big eyes
Never-ending hearts
Turning into cold unforgiving creators
Walls built up
And the tears stay in
Drowning themselves
Till they are dead inside
Dead inside
A hollow shell

-I'm lame, I promise-

No matter how much
innocence you've lost,
holding a new person's hand
is probably always going to be awkward.
And It's probably always going to make your
heart beat.
And when you're at a concert
lying about your age to
a freshman in college
so that he'll actually talk to you...
Your heart will probably start
beating faster then too.
And when he puts his arm around
you just to kiss you
and he looks you in the eyes
even though you're sweating and
your make up is probably smeared
he still calls you beautiful.
Like ****. This man
was chiseled by god
and for some reason he's looking at me.
He's pushing away the drunk people
trying to grab at my waist.
Not looking at girls who
are high as a kite trying
move their hips against his.
He just holds my hand
tighter and smiles at me
like "high people just don't stop."
And when Chevelle ended the last song
and the lights came back on
he gave me one more kiss
and disappeared into the crowd.
Like some mysterious prince.
He wants to be a math teacher
and he screams his lungs out
to his favorite songs
head bangs to the beat
and he wrapped his arms around me.
I become infatuated very fast.
Like a corvette C6 I go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
And all I said was that I like his face
and he decided that even though my hair was messed up
and my bruised waist was showing,
I was worth the yelling in
each others ear.
Even though beer and cigarettes were
burning through my tongue he put up
with me.
and this is all pathetic.
and I know I'm not in love.

But during class when the test is going on
and I'm put in the hallway
he's what I write about.
and I am so lame.

If I kiss you
Will you let me?

Love
A cliche four letter word
Yet
So is hate
But
How can I express
The love for you
Yet
Cover my hate for me