I’m not some intellectual
Nor am I an dunce
I’m just some ****
Who wants to write poetry

Am I worthy
To rewind time and fall back
to the time
where I was worthy

As I continue to turn back the sands of time
Trying to figure out how you can be so sublime
So amazing that it makes all the bells chime
After what i’ve done
I’m not of your praise
After what i’ve done
I should be considered a crime

Sometimes I look into the mirror
And I wonder am I ready to die
am I ready to drown, in my egotistical realm
I ignored
I blamed
I tortured
And after all the arguments
and I turn back the sands of time
and fall back
back down into the depths of your hades
where instead of your love
I’m left with regret
Regret as horrendous as ******
a cold blooded ******
a cold hearted ******
a cold life
a cold death
and as the blood drips off my clenched fist
and onto the stained wall that will forever remind me

What if I change my name
Change my appearance
Change my life
Everyone says i’m worthy
But I’m not worthy
unless I have you
and your forgiveness

1,2,3,4,
I count sheep; lying down on this cold pillow.
Staring into darkness
The black abyss staring back laughing
Reflecting my own self conscience.

5,6,7,8
more sheep pass by my eye lids
The wool falling off their bodies
towards the doors that lead in to my sub conscience
Where my mind runs rampant with thoughts
That leave the wool ineffective
That keeps me from entering a safe haven

9,10,11,12
This herd of sheep are wasting their time
I can’t live with out something so sublime
My love, My hate, My depression, My attraction
All pointed towards you
I get up and scream towards the sheep
I’m not your shepherd
I’m not your shepherd
I’m not your shepherd
just leave me be

13,14,16,17
Why couldn’t you stay
You stranded me at bay
I can’t enter the bomb shelter
with out closing my eyes
I can’t close my eyes with out you
I can’t,
I can’t,
I can’t,
I won’t

18, 19,
20 black sheep cross the roof of my eyes
as I sit here on the edge of my bed
This bed is a comparison
a comparison to my sanity
The one that was already fragile
The one you already broke

21…22…23..24…26…27…28….29….30

Now I understand
The sand crawling through our toes
with this land of grain and wonder
and the endless aquatic temple thats
too deep to enter
The smoke blurs my vision
It dresses my eyes with your beauty
Land of craziness
Land of wind and sails
The Palm trees waving around
The Palms of our hands never letting go
I’m not in love with you
I’m in love with the feeling
I’m in love with the atmosphere
The way you dress my eyes
We just met, but my mind stomps around with ideas
Ideas of beaches, love, hands,
everything that shows happiness and fondness
Driving down beverly hills with the sun setting
in the background of an awe inspiring painting
Lips, skin, life, death,
2 weeks of happiness
before I go
The sun can set as long as we can stay here
The sun can go anywhere it wants, I will find you again
So the sun can finally, get up from its hibernation
and be back in the sky.

We all want it
Something so magnificent
So many of the songs on the radio
Waiting to be married to you
Giving people the blues
Making peoples smiles reappear
whenever your near
The rush of dopamine when they catch eyes
Cupid you sly little one

Filling those arrows with a magnificent powder
Shinier than gold
Making people melt into chowder
Finding someone
from which to grow old
Magnificent ain’t it

Cupid agrees
You can’t count
How many times he’s shot those arrows
From young to old
Male or Female
I'm going point out the obvious
Love is inescapable
So stop running you fool
Or else you’ll end up like all the others
In love with love

The, Oh I just can’t stand this pain
The, I will never get him out of my head
The, Why me, why me
The, this is my fault
The, I’m forever ****** up now
The, I hate you so much
The, don’t touch me
The, I jump at the sound of leaves
The, I head footsteps coming to my door
The, How did I manage to get into this
The, Every movement you make will  cause me to flinch
The, Don’t give me metaphors to heal my heart
The, Don’t touch me
The, I said don’t touch me
The, A hug is touching me so please stop
The, your walking to close behind me
The, this is my fault
The, If I smell him I will burst into tears
The, every face in a dark room is his
The, Why do I still think its my fault
The, If you grab my shoulder I might start crying
The, No I don’t want to talk about it
The, I don’t have to tell you if I don’t want to
The, please stop asking me
The, Yes I knew Him
The, no, you don’t have to be walking home alone in a dark ally for this to happen
The, I said no
The, he didn’t listen
The, why wouldn’t he listen
The, I still think its my fault
The, No man can ever heal me
The, Yes there are good men out there, but I don’t want you  to “heal me”
The, no, not every poem I write is inspired by him
The, no I don’t hate ***
The, no I don’t hate me
The, Your touching me again
The, No I will not talk about this
The, It’s not my fault poem

Don’t tell me you love me
Find a way to say it differently
Don’t say something so cliché
Said every day
Don’t tell me the sun sets and rises for me
Because I know the the rotation and revolution of the earth mixed with the gravitational pull of sun
Tell me you’ll buy me seventeen cats, because you know seventeen is my favorite number
Tell me you’ll paint my house purple, because it matches my hair, and it will make you think of me every time you look at it
Tell me you’ll never let me miss a Metallica concert that comes to Kansas
Tell me that you would take me to the aurora borealis and read me the poem about it
Tell me you will keep a drawer of head phones, so I never run out
Tell me you will take every knife out of the house
Tell me you will hang your clothes according to colour because it makes you feel like I did it for you
Tell me you will never buy me a valentine, you’ll buy me a bottle of ***** instead
Tell me you will hold me even when I’m screaming that I hate you
Tell me you will never try to make me like sports
Tell me you will take me to comicon and cosplay with me
Tell me you will always deal with my friends, even when they hate you
Tell me you will never say a bad thing about my mother, unless I say something first
Tell me you will buy me tampons at two in the morning
Tell me you will think i’m beautiful when I eat
Tell me you will make me feel like I can eat in front of you
Tell me you will watch cheesy disney movies with me
Tell me you will sing songs with me
Tell me you will dye my hair
Tell me you will listen to me even when I don’t make any sense
Don’t you ever say you love me