liza: Favorites

Sep 2013 liza

You

Sep 2013 liza

brokencolorful

You

If you were a day of the week
     you'd be a Friday night on the couch

If you were a type of weather
     you'd be a snowy winter day in my arms

If you were a holiday
     you'd be a cozy night before Christmas in the
     light of the tree

If you were a time of day
     you'd be a late night watching TV

If you were a song
     you'd be Ashley by Escape The Fate

If you were a TV show
     you'd be my favorite episode of Doctor Who

If you were a person
     you'd be just the way you are
     because you are mine
     and I would never change that

a.d

Sep 2013 liza

Anxiety

Sep 2013 liza

Oakley

Anxiety

Anxiety

I run,
and run,
and run,
and it chases,
chases,
chases.

It haunts the crevices of my mind,
laughing,
mocking,
pushing me closer,
to an undefined edge.

As I think I am getting better,
as hope caresses me into a broken lucidity,
it knocks on my door.
Pounding against the hard cracking ossein,
pounding,
pounding.

All around me my walls shatter,
and it’s echoing voice,
protrudes my hollow skull.
It taunts my frail spirit,
It takes a hammer to my confidence,
It tears my existence to shreds.

I hide in my room.
It is safe there.
Hiding.
Hiding.
No pain can reach me,
If it cannot see me.

Its voice is a calming melody
That masks the true terror it really is.
“It’s okay to hide. You’ll be safe here.
“Don’t be scared.”
When all I am
Is scared.
Scared.
Scared.

Scared of people,
what they’ll say,
what they’ll think.
Scared of how
I will embarrass myself
this time.

Its hand grasps me by the throat
and shakes me numb.
“Do not go. Do not go.
“They will mock you,
“They will judge you,
“Don’t go, Don’t go.”

I run,
and run,
and run,
and it chases,
chases,
chases.

I want away. I want away.
This fear it gives me.
This fear is throws on me.
I do not need.
It racks my mind endlessly,
whispering lies into my ears.

I try,
and try,
and try,
to get away,
and it laughs,
laughs,
laughs.

Sep 2013 liza

Nicholas

Sep 2013 liza

annmarie

Nicholas

I knew a boy once
who inhaled books
like he inhaled the air,
whose blue eyes were always full of laughter
and who was always willing
to give a little bit up
to make someone else smile.

I watched him once
as we were talking
and took note of the way
that his smile brightened
every time I met his eyes
and never seemed
to get bored of what I had to say.

The boy I knew once
put his books on the shelf
as other things filled him up,
and his blue eyes grew a little crueler
because he was always willing
to give a lot of his life up
to make those he wanted to be like approve.

I watched him once
as I was talking
and took note of the way
that his smile wasn't as real
and he wouldn't meet my eyes
and sort of seemed
to be pulling away.

I saw that boy once
walking with a new crowd
with a different rhythm now,
his blue eyes darting around cautiously
and never willing
to give any of himself away
in case they'd hurt him too.

I watched him then
as he was talking
and took note of the fact
that his smile had gone
and he hadn't seen me watching
because he had always been
centered around getting to here.

Sep 2013 liza

Frostbite

Sep 2013 liza

annmarie

Frostbite

When I was young and lonely,
yet wise enough,
I'd slipped off my skin and held it out to you
and you accepted it. I'd been left with bare bones, then.
And as I handed over my lips and eyebrows and fingernails,
You accepted those, too.
Next I'd slipped out my heart and offered you it,
But you refused to take it, and so
I'd realised I was left without a coat
in the cold winter's blight.
Nothing but a skeleton, as frostbite
bit at me and I'd stood shivering,
my skin in your hands,
my heart in mine.
The wind hit my back and sent through me shudders
and I pleaded for you to give back what had once been mine.
But you just stood with eyes like glass, and wordlessly
you let me know it was helpless.
One by one, I felt my bones begin to freeze
from my toes and swiftly traveling up.
I couldn't tell then if my shaking came from cold
or if it was the blizzard of emotions burying me.
At my fingertips I could sense
the heart which I still cradled in my hands start to grow rigid
and it's beating grew ever more mechanical,
losing all energy and life,
working routinely and with passion gone.
Time stopped altogether and we stood, unmoving.
A fleeting warmth, a single hot tear—
it barely left my eye before becoming solid.
And the silence broke with the sound of your footsteps
but there I stayed in stunned paralysis,
my eyes locked on the remains of me
that you had ****** at my feet
and the cold heart I still held.
I picked myself up and slipped me back on,
the same as I had been before.
But my heart I kept frozen, though now it's aware
and I won't make that misstep again.
With a heart not my own, I'll continue,
untrusting—
the only part of you I let myself keep.

Sep 2013 liza

always in memory

Sep 2013 liza

Ghenwa

always in memory

woke me up on a saturday morning
dead and gone she was
'may she rest in peace' she told me to say
shock took over me
tears wouldn't come out
tears were hidden deep down
inside a rush of feelings
and knifes stabbing my heart
it was hard
she was gone
already
after all this time
yet so early
sickness took over her
struggles ended
black we were wearing
tears all falling
if only cries could bring you back
if only love could bring you back
i don't believe it
i can't believe it
i can't see it
she's here
everywhere we are
the smell
the presence
the voice
everything
couldn't be gone
but someday in your life
you'll have to learn and let go
because nothing last forever
and we're the first to fade before our own eyes.

to my grandmother who passed away yesterday morning

Sep 2013 liza

Silenced

Sep 2013 liza

Michelle Nyamekye

Silenced

What good is it to ask for help when your mind is already made.
Involving others in some sick and twisted game.
You hurt yourself and in the process you've hurten others too.
And not just someone passing by, someone close to you.

You know they care and want to help, they plead for you to stop.
And so you postpone the task for a while. You two start to talk
About how you hurt and you start to share those bottled up feelings with someone who cares.
But it doesn't help cause you're still hurt and you are to blame.
It was you after all who wanted to feel more pain.

I've given up with calling out and asking you for help.
Maybe if I was stronger for you, you'd be more open yourself.
I hate knowing your hurting and not being able to give advice to you.
You help me through my problems but there's never anything I can do.
So to fix this, maybe make it easier on your part, I'll keep my mouth shut.
I'd prefer if we both had each other, but I have no control over that.

Guess I'll just go back to feeling like **** and pretending like I'm not upset.
I may feel like crap but if no one can tell, I can say I'm a good actress

— The End —