These ones seem nice.
These ones seem legitimate.
But i'm still worried.
Worried they will leave
like all the others.
Then I will be alone again.
I shouldn't get attached,
but I always do.
Maybe they wont leave me?
Maybe these ones like me?
The ones in the past just pretended.
It was an act.
I have to try and trust again.
Hope this time
These new friends
Really are the best.

What did I do
To deserve your hate?
I mean your my mom
For gods sake.

When I get hit
It hurts
When I get slapped
It stings.

You call me
*****
*****
****.
When all I try to do
Is please you.

You make me feel worthless
You've made me wanna die.
You've made me make my skin
Bruised
Or bleed.

You're words are like fire
Branded into my brain.
When I'm alone
I hear you.

But then it's ok
Because you would buy?
A new toy
A new outfit.
You would say "im sorry"
And say you love me.
But the next day
Start again.

Until my psyche is destroyed
And my brain is confused.
Until inside I'm dead.

I see myself as sub human
I've had a noose around my neck
So close to stepping off.
So close to ending it all.

Why do you hate me?
A child you adopted.
A child you abused.
That grew into this broken woman
you see before you.

Why do I think you care?
Why do I think you remember me?
Or even care?
I know you're ignorant
I know you don't know
I know you weren't informed
But then why do I hate you?

You probably are married
Two kids
Nice job
Nice house

You gave your first up to give them that
They got a nice house
Parent with good job
Went to a good school district
But feel abandoned by you!

What would you say if you knew?
If you saw your kid get slapped?
Get emotionally abused everyday
Get screamed at for nothing
Or for even doing chores.

Would you care she cried every night?
A 7 year old praying for another family
A 10 year old praying for her mother!
I pretend you wouldn't
It's easy to hate you
When I don't know you
Do you mind I hate you?

Would you care I hurt myself?
That I've left my skin bruised
And scarred?
That I've had thought of dying since age 11?
It's easier to pretend
That you forgot me
Out of sight out of mind
Leaving sealed fills
And no names listed.

When you talk they call you Annoying
They say you talk to much
They make fun

When your quiet they ask
what's wrong
They ask why your not talking

You start not knowing what to do
When everything you do is wrong
You might give up
Isolate yourself with your thoughts
Talk to yourself again
Question everything you ever say

Or meet new people
Who won't care if you rant
Who won't mind if you want quiet
And you will listen to them too
And you will sit next to them
If they quietly read
And these are the people
Who should be your friends.

Is poetry all stereotypical?
Can one now write without cliché?
To write romance like Shakespeare
Or depressed thriller like Poe
Is now considered cliché, taboo, and old

What is left for us?

I say rid YOURSELF of stereotype
Rid YOUSELF of taboo
rid YOURSELF of your own clichés
And create anew

I wish to throw up *** scenes
**** out the angst with the rest of the waste!
Those are MY clichés. MINE

I will breathe in the romance!
Swallow the comedy whole.
Done too much?
Maybe by another
But not I.

You ask us the write,
But not mimic the greats.
It's only cliché if we've done it,
Let it become a stereotype of us
And have it consume our bodies.

So I will write poems
Of natures beauty
Of fantasy dreams
And it will not be cliché
Because it will come from me.
From the deepest reaches of my soul
Through my guts and blood
It is forged like a sword.

So call it cliché if I am to write
The same way as the greats.
It won't make it less beautiful
Or any less new.

Breath in
Breath out
Over and over
Till the lungs completely fill.
Till the heart beats steady.
The world can stop
The planets stop spinning.
The kettle whistle silences.
The only sound is air
Rushing down your throat.
The hands stop shaking
Only little twitches remain.
What was once clammy sweaty skin
Now feels cool
Like a ghost is hugging you
Breath in
Breath out
Keep going
Just by one day.

You are worthless
Nobody likes you
Their smiles are fake
They can't wait for you to leave
They wanna ***** about you
How stupid you are
How juvenile you act.

If you were normal they might like you
If you learned to take a joke
If you could understand the references
Sarcasm
Or metaphors they use.

If you were normal they might like you
If you weren't so ugly
If you could function
To order food
To blend it

But you're not normal
You're a freak
That nobody likes
And nobody ever will