Shame
Coursing through me
Making marks on my identity
You are wrong
You are bad
You should be aSHAMEd
Shame
Shame
Shame
Why do you **** me?
Interfering with my life
Defiling my positive nature
Triggering my inadequacies
My inner child is scared
She feels this shame
Not quite understanding
Definitely feeling
Shame

Don’t shame me
For your words
And opinions
Are powerful

Yet
I know my limits
My boundaries
My pleasure

Don’t shame me
As I know what
I’m looking for
And that may not align with your values

For I am exploring
My pleasure
Is my
Priority

Don’t shame me
For your perception
Is yours alone
Only I know my truth

My intuition speaks to me
And I listen daily
For she knows
As I know

Don’t shame me
For the Universe will work
Regardless of your
Point of view

I trust in all events
I trust the Universe
I trust my intuition
I trust and value myself

The light between the trees
Glistens and glows
Creating symmetry
Moving in its stillness
Strong and wild
Grounded and expansive
Far away
Yet the warmth is seemingly close
Thank you
Mother Earth

The connection of
My hands on my
Heart and
Womb

Breathing in
Breathing out
Feeling
Allowing

I feel myself
Calming
I feel myself
Present

Emotions bubble up
And I allow them
The tears a release
Tending to my garden

For I
Am blossoming
For I
Am growth

Thriving to me is
Feeling so in touch
With my intuition
That my life flows
Like a river knowing it’s path
Intuitively

Trusting my instincts
Trusting my
**** yes and **** no
Knowing my Intuitive signs
Trusting my butterflies to affirm me

Feeling balanced
In tune with my body’s needs
Emotionally
Mentally
Physically
Spiritually
Energetically

­For when I trust my body
I trust my intuition
I trust the Universe
I see my butterflies
I feel safe

For I know my signs
I know my truth
I know myself
And that is thriving

After running a bath
I mount you
And ride
To bliss

My ****** energy
Pulsates throughout my body
Rising
Exploring
She moves through me
Turning me on
Lighting up my senses
I feel
I witness
I allow
I thank her
For she holds space
For my emotions
She curates
My creativity
She expands
My mind
While she blows
My mind
I can choose to tap into her
And she comes alive
For she trusts me
And I trust her
For I trust me
Fully

I feel alive
I feel grounded
I feel excited
I feel hopeful

I am exploring
I am opening
I am allowing
I am manifesting

I give myself permission
To fully trust myself

Permission
Granted

Just looking at you
Makes me smile
You remind me to be sassy
You’re soft
Smooth
And I love listening to and feeling
Your motor run
You understand
When I invite you to cuddle
You trust me fully
And I’ll never take your trust for granted
We play
We nap
You talk to me
And follow me
Wait for me to come home
You’re adorable
And I appreciate your love
I love you so much
My precious cat

I feel wounded
Your words and actions
They hurt me and haunt me

I could ask why
But why doesn’t lead anywhere
So why even bother

I both understand
And don’t understand
Friendship

What is friendship
Exactly
When it can be simultaneously

Ecstatic and
Hurtful
As we all evolve

What is a foundation of friendship
Built upon
When it seems to no longer exist

My inner child
Cries out
Enough

She feels hurt
Feels wounded
Feels tired

There’s such a feeling of
Tiredness
It’s overwhelming

Numb
Sometimes I numb out
Protecting myself from the hurt

Holistically I know
That to feel
Is to heal

But feeling hurts
It’s hurting me
To lean into

Those feelings
Of hurt
Of frustration

Of feeling like
What the **** happened
And why am I constantly misunderstood

Gah
It’s out
I’m misunderstood

I’m unique
I’m loving
I try to be kind

And yet
My words don’t resonate
My conversation doesn’t flow

My passions
Are separate
From those around me

Maybe I should just
Let myself be
Me

**** the misunderstandings
I can just express myself
And be me

But can I
Am I capable of that
And what if I’m judged

Hm but then the question is
Would I rather hold myself back
In fear of people’s judgements

Or fully express myself
And feel
Alive

The wounding will come
The wounding will go
I will be here

I hug myself
Sit in nature
Process the feels

I am a beautiful being
I am worthy of being loved
I deserve understanding

Yes I am
Yes I do
Yes

I am magical
I manifest

Feeling
Emotions

My greatest desires
Come to me

I feel them
Feel how they will make me feel

It’s Magic
They come to me

The Universe knows exactly what I need
Wants to shower me with abundance

My abundance
Comes to me

For I am abundance
I am Magic

I am
I am

When my body speaks to me
She says I love you
She speaks in rhythms
She says trust
Love me
Hold me
I know you get confused sometimes
At things that happen
But trust me
Listen to me
I’m constantly sending you signs
Tune into me
Listen
Feel
Learn
Love

There’s a fire in my core

I
Feel it

This feeling of

R a p t u r e

Filling me
Spurring me forward

I
Feel it

Captivating my senses

Moving inward
Outward
Upward
Downward

Energizing my whole being

I
Feel it

Traveling thru my Chakras
Opening a channel

Life force
Energy

Mm

My ***** lights up
Sacral energy igniting

B r e a t h e

M o v e

S o u n d

Mm
Yes

Rest my dear
For you will find
Your heart will open
As will mine

For we are one
As all are one
Together here
Unknown yet known

I love you dear
My love runs strong
Throughout your veins
And into those

Who see you dear
And hear you dear
Let them see
Let them hear

Voice your spirit
Voice your heart
Voice your love
Voice your thoughts

You’re meant to be heard
You’re meant to be seen
Vulnerability is hard
Yet also is key

When you put yourself out there
You may get hurt
Remember though dear
That I am here

Within you
Throughout you
I’ll take the lead
I’ll help them see

I’ll also comfort
And nurture
And soothe
And hold

As well as steady
And ground
Loving
While urging

You forward my dear
For you are meant to shine
Shine your light for others
To find their path

For your example
Though hard at times
Will pave the way
For those who are meant

To see you
To hear you
Ah yes
The theme

Allow
Allow
My dear
Allow

My heart feels broken
Without you by my side
For I miss the feel
Of our connection

I miss your laugh
Your smile
Your humor
Your mind

Thank you for making me laugh
Making me smile
Holding me close
Making me feel alive

I cherish the memories
And appreciate those moments
The time we had together
Before we drifted apart

We loved each other
And for that I’m thankful
I’m grateful to have met you
And I wish us both the best

What seemingly appears dead on the outside
Is simply inner growth

Pruning this orchard
Peeling away the layers of neglect
I spotted green growth

Moving bits and pieces
Relocating the *** to a place where
Given the love it deserves

My hands transmit Reiki energy
To this beautiful orchard
Trusting that it’s growth is happening

I trust my inner growth
Will blossom
To outer empowerment

Sometimes I just need to get away
Move locations
Breathe a different air
Feel myself as myself
Differently

A new perspective
Translates to new ideas
Allows for new emotions
While holding space for that which still is
For I am multidimensional

As I breathed in the mountain air
I felt myself opening
My heart opening
For this
This is my home away from home

I love this place
I love what it represents
I love how it makes me feel
I love visiting
I love being

As I write this
Laying on my own bed
My cat looking at me sweetly
Until she turns and shows me her sweet ****
I feel gratitude, joy, and love
For my desire was answered
And I begin anew

You magnificent being
Look at yourself
Allow yourself to f e e l

My hips sway to the music of rage
Growling and screaming
Beating on the ground
Primal wild beast that I am

My hands move across my body
Fingers lacing through my hair
And landing over my heart and womb
Tears begin to flow
As I honor the grief
Holding space
Hips swaying

Turning it on in front of the mirror
Checking myself out
The smile begins
As my hips sway to the rhythm
The truth hits me

All of me is real
All of me is valid
All of me deserves to be seen

I feel tethered
As though I cannot do right by
Those who judge me
And yet
Who are they to judge
My choices
For I make my own choices
I own my freedom of words
Of self expression
I am a beacon
For those who resonate
For my light shines through
Those darkest nights
And my darkness encapsulates
Those emotions for which
We are most shamed
I am angry
I am sad
I am luscious
I am pure joy and love
I am all of these at once
For my emotions span greater than 88 keys
All of which I yearn to play
Let me play
Says my body
Let me play
Says my Empowered Goddess within
I will show you
The truth

My senses are stimulated by
The thoughts flowing from your brain
Flowing through my veins
Stimulating my heart
Thumping to the rhythm of
The back and forth
Of our conversation

Take
Me

Lay me down and
Tie me up and
Cover my eyes as you
Kiss me senseless
Kiss my body
My *******, neck, *******
My *****
Eat her
Sense her divinity
And

Tease
Me

Feather me as you
Read me ****** poetry that you
Wrote with me in mind
Teasing my senses
My energetic nature that
Loves the anticipation of
Your touch

Free
Me

For I am wild
I am sensual
I am a Goddess
Unleashed upon this earth to
Howl at the moon and
Dance with the stars and
Give thanks for my security

Dance
With
Me

Take me in your arms and
Twirl me and
Hold me and
Lead me through the tango of our joint desires as we
Dream and
Live and
Travel that space between
The bliss that is
Our reality

Love
Me

For my love language is
Physical touch and
I love the scent of flowers and
I receive your intention as you
Follow through with actions and
Run me a bath for you know
Pleasure is a necessity
And I crave affection

Massage
Me

Allow me to
Relax into your trusting arms and
Feel your hands as you
Truly take the time to make me feel
In my body

Talk
To
Me

Let’s co-create and
Manifest and
Allow the Universe to bring us
Together

I am holding,
my baby self.
I love you so much.
You are so precious.
Sacred.
Divine.
Beautiful.
You're sassy.
I love,
how innocent,
you are.
I love,
how you light up the room,
with your smile.
You are such a blessing.
Although you look fragile,
you are strong.
You have everyone wrapped around your finger.
You are intelligent.
You are so loved.
You are held.
I see,
your bright light shining.
I see you,
asking for exactly what you want.
I see you,
soaking up the love,
the joy,
reaching out,
taking it in.
I love your laughter.
I love how it feels,
to hold you in my arms,,
to watch you sleep,
so peaceful.
I love how adorable you are as you stretch.
I love your dimples,
your smile,
your blue eyes.
You're infectious,
in all the good ways.
I love how much you eat.
I love that you go for exactly what you want.
I'm so happy,
that you are mine.

Mm.
Seeing my young adult self.
You are on fire.
I am so ******* proud of you.
You are giving life your all.
You are having fun.
You are making friends.
You are dealing,
with a chronic disease,
like a ******* boss.
I am so proud of you.
I'm proud of who you are,
who you're becoming.
You are gorgeous.
You are so intelligent.
I love your curiosity.
I love all of the knowledge that you are constantly seeking out and soaking in.
I love that you're a bookworm.
I love,
that you,
have so many amazing goals,
and you are going after them.
I'm proud of you for making tough decisions.
I love you so much.
I love how you just keep going forward,
no matter what.
I love that you do extra credit,
that you ask for help,
that you offer help.
I love how involved you are.
You're doing all of these incredible volunteer opportunities
just because it makes you happy and you want to give back
and that is so beautiful.
I love watching you blossom into the leader that you are.
You have such a beautiful soul.
Such a beautiful soul.
You are such an incredible friend.
Such an incredible sister.
Such an incredible daughter.
Your voice is gorgeously amazing.
You are such an incredible singer,
musician,
writer,
poet.
You have so many dreams and you are going after them.
I love that you are friends with everyone in the choir that you are a part of,
the church choir like,
it's just so much fun,
to witness how you just like,
have such an infectious joy about you.
And how music just really lights you up and brings you out of your shell and you just blossom.
I absolutely love witnessing it.
It's magical.
You are such a magical being.
I love you so much.

And here we are today.
I am so proud of everything that you have accomplished.
You stepped into 30.
Oh man,
this new decade,
has already been so incredible.
You are working your dream job as an academic advisor.
Ha,
you are a healer and a coach with your own business.
You are so gorgeous,
such a Goddess.
I love it.
I love you so much.
I'm so proud of all of the goals, education, life experiences, personal development, certifications, everything that you've just
gone after,
and just like,
made the most of.
You are such an incredible, intuitive healer.
Letting that Reiki energy flow through you.
You're amazing.
Your ***** is delightful and delicious.
I love how she leads the way in your life.
Oo.
I love your strip teases,
so gorgeous.
I love how you love being naked.
And I love how free you are.
You are so held.
So, so held.
Oh man,
I am just,
have tears in my eyes,
thinking of everything that we've gone through on this journey,
and look at you,
you're thriving.
I'm proud of all the financial knowledge that you have.
You volunteered for two years,
how incredible is that.
And it's just,
you are so amazing at giving back,
to this world,
to this community.
And also,
look at how much you've embraced your intuition,
your vulnerability.
Look how well you receive.
These are such beautiful things.
You are so loved.
And you have so much love.
And you're so loveable.
I feel it.
I feel it so much.
I feel so blessed that you're here on this journey.
That you've been aligning with your unapologetic self,
living unapologetically,
embracing your Goddess,
letting her out,
letting her lead,
letting your ***** lead.
Oh man,
I love it.
I love your journey.
I love how much you've embraced.
I love your communities.
I love your friends,
like you,
have made such,
and created such,
an incredible life for yourself.
Mwah.
I love you.
And you have a beautiful, **** ***.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.

It creeps up and covers my heart
Disconcerting and uncertain feelings purge my mind
Anxieties and insecurities I’d thought I left behind
They’re back now
Sneaky and determined
They cut through any present happiness
Oozing in
Snatching and sticking
Determined to stay
Why can’t they leave?
Why do they always come back?
I feel like I’m stuck in a ******* cycle that keeps wanting to **** with me
Paralyzed with indecision, judgement, and fear
Where did that risk taker go?
Where did that confident, optimistic woman head off to?
Why do I care so ******* much what others think?
Why do I constantly feel the need to cede control in order to please those around me?
Is this adulthood or simply the cusp of it?
I can’t handle this ****
Or maybe it’s that I don’t want to anymore
It’s time for something new
My bravery to morph into the next phase
I deserve to be consistently happy
Everyone deserves happiness
I will accept and embrace my loneliness
For I know staying present can bring happiness
It is coming
It is here
It is now

Dear Body,

I reclaim our radiance!

You are a vessel,

We are a vessel.

We bring life, joy, healing, and light.

I love you.

I love us.

I trust you.

I trust us.

You are safe.

We are safe.

I feel safe.

I reclaim this feeling of safety.

For you.

For us.

For me.

I felt that feeling in my heart
When I left you at the bus stop
That sadness that occurs
When I don’t know when I’ll see you next
It hurts a bit
It feels unsure
It grasps for you
Where you were before
It’s time to leave
I look out the window
See you standing there
Tears well in my eyes
Emotion shows on my face
I hug myself
As it passes
I smile at the memories we made
Resting now
The journey begins
In the future
We’ll meet again

I felt like my heart was breaking
When I thought about you

It’s an odd feeling
Since you’re my dad

But there were the tell-tale signs

It’s a nostalgic feeling
Combined with a sadness
And a despairing emotional turn

It’s sad really
Terrifying in some ways
To think that I’m not loved

It isn’t true though

He loves me
He cares about me

I don’t think he likes me though
At least not the majority of the time

He thinks I don’t listen
That I’m ungrateful

I think he’s wrong
That he doesn’t hear me

I’ve been living here
In this environment
For a long time

I feel unwelcome by him

Yes
My heart truly breaks for us
For him

I care deeply for my father
I love my father
Yet
I don’t know how to express this
While maintaining my authentic self expression

Some days I give up
Hole away in my treehouse room
Lay in bed or distract myself

Other days I try
I speak and smile
I still go up to my treehouse room
It’s my space

I wonder if it will ever change
If our relationship will improve

I hope so
I hope our hearts mend
Our wounds heal
Our emotions open
And we spread joy and contentment
Just as the sun setting and rising spreads beauty and hope

I feel like a lost girl
Scared, alone, sad, lonely
I am lonely
I am scared
I am sad
I isolate
I feel raw inside
My heart hurts
I am lost
Very lost
I don’t reach out
I hardly respond
Because I don’t know what
  to say
I don’t really want to talk
I want to be held
Held for an eternity
I have been crying
I will keep crying
Although my words are
  scarce on my tongue
My pen leaves them open
  to read
Hold me
See me
Let me be me
For I am lost
A lost girl
For now that is me
My tears speak louder
  than my words ever could

My room is a tree house
Up high, towards the sky, amidst the trees
I live surrounded my leaves
To my left they are red
To my right they are green
Different shades
Yellow and starting to fall
In my room there are books
My books speak of my journey
Books have gone
And new ones have come
Butterflies visit outside my window
While birds visit and perch on the roof
Within my tree house
Transformation occurs
Protected by the bubble
Of nature and energy

I feel things are changing
My heart still loves
Yet my perspective shifts
There is more
  to be had
  to be desired
  to be manifested
I crave something different
Something true to me
Something easier
Something that flows
I will giggle
  with joy and wonder
I will be myself
  without thinking twice about it
I will continue to grow
  to emerge
My Goddess within
  comes out to play
  wild, and untamed
She loves to simply be
She is
  me
Thank you for the wonderful
I’m ready now
  for the unimaginable
I feel my blood coursing through my veins
My body tingles
  with anticipation
Letting go
  releasing
The grief wells up
  tears fill my eyes
Yet
  I can find pleasure within
  pleasure through pain
  pleasure through love
  pleasure through darkness
    through light
    through life
Fearful of change
I process anew
How do I do this?
  Trust
Is it even possible?
  Trust
Will I make it through the darkness?
  Trust
I always do
I always do
For there is always light
  on the horizon
Change is waiting there for me
Waiting for me to take that
  first step
It will not catch me
  for sometimes I need to fall
  to show how I survive
Each and every day
  a change awaits me
Me Goddess peaks out
  she smiles
Oh wait,
  that’s me
I smile
I just
I fly
I
Change

They say it takes a village to raise a child
I believe it takes a community to guide a student

Trust
Compassion
Open Mindedness
Inspiration
Love
Positivity
Active Listening
Holistic Growth
Mindfulness

These are key ingredients to which I adhere while advising students

Authenticity is important
Both for myself
And for those around me

Students are the future
Education is the present

Stay calm
Listen
Guide
Learn

Students graduate
And change the world

I am sacred
Yes, you are sacred
Yes
Being sacred feels like
Acceptance from those I care most about
Family
My family
My tribe
Being sacred tastes like fresh plants
Nourishment
Sweet fruit
Wild veggies
Being sacred sounds like nature
My cats purr
Birds singing
Ocean waves
Light breezes
Being sacred looks like butterflies
Freedom
Fireflies in the night sky
Stargazing
Being sacred smells like fresh air
Cleansing
Sweet
Wild
Inhaling goodness
Yes, I am sacred
You are sacred
I am sacred

I am a hell of a woman
I love myself
I love my life
I love my progress
I love my opportunities
I am a Sister Goddess
I am confident
I am ****
I am creative
I am hardworking
I am loyal
I am kind
I am trustworthy
I am a hell of a woman

I have type one diabetes
And I am healthy
These shoes I walk in
They keep taking steps forward
These glasses I wear
They give vision to eyes which see the world
This skin I’m in
It’s the largest ***** in the world which covers and protects the inner workings of a miracle
These ears I have
They hear all the words which both heal and hurt
This heart that’s beating in my chest
It holds the emotions of a feminine badass

This body keeps moving forward
This person keeps moving forward
She rests when she needs to
She processes both the goodness and the pain
She is human
She cares
She loves

No matter the obstacles
I will reach out for help
Accept the support of my community
And keep on going
No matter what

Why?
Because I can

You are an alcoholic.
It pains me to say it, but it must be said.
I love you.
You are an amazing person.
You, as in, the person you are when you're not drinking.
That other person is the alcohol speaking.
I respect you, when you are you.
I do not respect you as an alcoholic.
I've always heard that, drunk minds speak sober thoughts.
Well, it seems the only time you're able to speak to me is when you are drinking.
I realize this is partly me.
I close myself off to you.
Whenever we speak, unless I am asking for your help with something, we don't seem to connect.
I wish this wasn't the case.
I'm crying now even thinking and writing about it.
The best memory I have of us when I was really young, was when you took me to a park and we watched the bike riders do tricks on the ramp.
Another is on a vacation when you were the only one who would go parasailing with me and go with me so I could swim with dolphins.
I'm honestly not sure what changed.
Maybe I've just grown up.
Maybe your drinking got worse throughout the years.
Could it be both?
I really do love you.
I suppose I don't quite understand what keeps you drinking.
Your father was an alcoholic
Your brother was an alcoholic.
All your other brothers have stopped drinking because they couldn't handle it.
You are the only one left who still drinks.
You also refuse to believe that you have a problem.
There are many reasons that I chose from the beginning to never drink alcohol.
I am very happy that I have stuck to that decision.
I've seen what it does to people.
I am the only one in my family who does not drink.
You seem to connect with my sisters through alcohol the most.
It gives you all a relevant topic to talk about.
Maybe that's why we can't seem to hold a conversation.
Or if we do, it's awkward.
I feel attacked.
I feel that you are not proud of me.
I know in my heart that it's not entirely true, but I still feel that way.
I know I need to move out of this situation.
I know that I could do better, make more of an effort to connect with you.
I just find it really difficult and I feel guilty about that.
I want to have a relationship with you, other than asking for your help.
I'm also fiercely independent at times, and we clash.
We are both very honest people.
I get my honesty from you, I know it.
It's not easy for me to simply let things go sometimes, because I want the truth to come out.
The truth can't come out with you, because it just leads to more clashing and hard feelings.
It's not always bad.
There can be really, really great moments.
It's the bad ones that come to mind though, especially when I have anxiety.
You are critical.
It pushes me, but it also hurts me.
Please stop drinking.
I love you dad.
Please.

Your criticism
Pushes me forward and
Holds me back
At the same time
Why?
Maybe because I care
I care what you think
I care that you aren't proud of me
Of my accomplishments
You are proud of my sisters
Because they are doing what you want them to do
I will never be that person
I will never do exactly what you want me to do
I am creating my own life
I am finding my own way
Hopefully I will be proud of myself
Be proud of the person I am creating
Without thinking of the person you wish I was

I saved your life
And you saved mine
Those are the truest acts of
Vulnerability
And with those acts
We brought life anew
Our hearts reborn
And together
True

Consumerism

It pulls me in
Never letting go
Stuff
You need more stuff
You need this stuff
You cannot get rid of this stuff
This stuff is important
You love this stuff
This stuff is your life
That's what my stuff has been telling me
Keep me for the future
You may need me
You do need me
I make you happy
You need me to be happy
You need me to have happy experiences
I am your memories
You love me

Do I though?

Do I have the strength to let go?
To clear up space
Make room for new experiences
New opportunities
Instead of collecting stuff
Can I get rid of it all and move forward
Let go of attachments and move onward
Live a life of experiences instead of memories
Memories of my past
My past is held in all this stuff
Others pasts are held in all this stuff
Even though I want it
I don't need it
And now I question if I still want it

No
I don't
I can do it
I can let go
Let go of all the stuff
All the stuff holding me back
I can do it
I will do it
The process has begun

I need strength
I need my own motivation

Let it begin

I wish to escape reality
I wish to change directions
I wish to have new experiences
I wish to have less attachments
I wish to have less worries
I wish to make less mistakes
I wish to stay positive
I wish to move forward
I wish to not doubt myself
I wish to believe in the future
I wish to use everything I have
I wish to be happy with what I do
I wish to be happy with what I have
I wish to feel more content with my life
I wish to be able to give things up
I wish to do more
I wish to be more
I wish to have less anxiety
I wish to believe in myself

I wish to escape reality
I wish to escape
I wish to
I wish
I
Wishes verse reality
Reality verse wishes

It's a day in the life
And once again I feel strife
It's hard to explain
The rick and roll of a roller coaster train
I'm stressed yet I'm calm
Then I fall asleep till dawn
I wake up at five
Feeling all sorts of alive
Semi disappointed but I make up my mind
It's time to get to work and thrive
I'm having trouble focusing but I get it done
Edit and submit
I'm done with it
Shower and decide
It's time for a ride
Hop in the car to the train
Smiling cause I'm insane
To the station I arrive
But my ticket but then
I snap for a moment
The mood is ruined
I feel like crying
I'm on my way in
I want to see the tree
I want to see my love
He's annoyed
I'm crying
What will happen
When I arrive
Breathing exercises
I'll still go see the tree
With or without him
I'm not dependent
But I am in love
Then I'll turn around and leave
Back to the train
Back to the car
Back to my bed
And on to a new day

Dear Father,
I feel,
sad.
I wish we had more of a relationship.
I love you.
I wish you'd understand that,
even though my path isn't yours,
it's still right for me.
I wish you'd accept that,
I'm in an interracial relationship,
and extremely content.
You're conditioned.
I know that's not really who you are though.
You once told me,
the story of when you worked on the boats back in the day.
You and your friend went for a drink at the bar.
They said they'd serve you but not him, because he's black.
You both left and went around to the other entrance,
where they served you both.
That's the man and father I know you are.
I respect that.
That taught me respect.
That taught me to love and respect everyone, to the beset of my ability.
What happened?
I love you.
I also love him.
Maybe we can have more of a relationship one day.
I would love that.
One day far in the future,
when I get married to the love of my life,
regardless of who that ends up being,
I want to dance with my first true love.
The one who taught me to value relationships and look for kind men.
That's you,
Father.
That's you.
My love.

We sit by the water
You take my hand
You tell me there's been something
You've been wanting to share with me
For a long time

"I love you," he says
"I love you too," you say

His words wash over you
Emotions array
The moment of frightening excitement
The moment you've been waiting for

"Are you happy?" he asks
"I am very happy," you reply

And you both smile
As you'd never before

I could love you.
If you'd let me.
Let's be real.
I'm just as scared as you are.

You're not ready.
I don't know if I've ever been ready.
Things just happen.
Suddenly something changes.

Different feelings start to seep in.

Let them.
Let me.
Let you.
Love me.
Love you.

I'm whipping up food
for two
wearing only your shirt

And we're happy
to just be
together

the mere thought of you
gives me butterflies

I dreamed of you last night

Both in separate places

We came to find each other

Sitting down you hugged me

I smiled and felt contentment

It's the small things

The simple things

I dreamed of you last night

I'm vulnerable
     Tears are flowing down my face
             And you comfort me

My heart hurts
I miss you

This always happens
I feel good around you
I feel safe around you
You make me feel calm

Then I leave
It's not that far
Yet it's far enough

I miss being around you
Smiling
Laughing
Talking
Holding hands
Cuddling
Hugging
Kissing
Listening to your voice
Giggling together
Watching you smile

You make me smile
You make my heart skip a beat
You give me butterflies

I'm falling for you

The heat rises in her face
as she thinks those forbidden thoughts
Forbidden...
by whom?
She lies down and closes her eyes
smiling because only she can see
what lies in the depths of her memory
She places her hand on her body
as images come to light
a movie with certain scenes on repeat
As she touches herself
the feelings resurfacing
her smile turns to yearning
that forbidden yearning
Her other hand joins the first
as the heat in her face
spreads throughout her body
Pulse quickening
Sounds heard
Images flickering
Touch felt
Heat awakening
Spine arching
And finally
peace
She smiles as her face relaxes
those forbidden thoughts
leading her to blissful rest