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Elizabeth Burns Oct 2017
Dear Damian

You emotionally abused me

And you were on the verge of physical
Abuse

Especially one day when you punched your hand
Right next to my face

I hope you heal
Elizabeth Burns Jul 2018
I hate you
You coward
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
Damian
Damian
What was wrong with me
Please answer me
Please
Damian
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2018
He told me
I make him
Want to commit suicide

I hate myself
I hate me so much
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2018
Everyone keeps telling me there's something wrong with me
Do you think they're right?
Elizabeth Burns Nov 2017
Dear Damian

You're an alcoholic
Elizabeth Burns Mar 2018
Please can I just let go of you
Please
I don't want to see your face anymore
I don't want to think of how you used to make me feel
I don't
Just leave my mind
Please
I hate you
You've ruined me for other men
I hate you
Elizabeth Burns Dec 2016
I haven't written much lately
I wonder What's happened to me
Elizabeth Burns Apr 2018
You weren't yourself tonight
Why does everything change
When
You
Lust?
Elizabeth Burns Apr 2018
Why are you the centre of our fights
You're out of my life
But yet you're still here
Haunting my dreams
Breaking me
Wrecking my current relationship
With the demons you left inside me
Tormenting me

I hate you damian
I hate you
You don't know how much you ******* me up
An outlet of feelings. I'm sorry if you see this
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
Damian
You were slow with me
I liked that
Thank you
Elizabeth Burns Oct 2017
I wish I was okay
Elizabeth Burns Mar 2019
Dear You

I haven't thought about you for a while
I've been caught up in cancer
But there are times you wander my mind
When I hear phrases like
"he was the one"
"he made me laugh and he was so in love with me"
There is an incredible anger inside of me when I see your photos
And then there's a sadness when I see how my eyes used to shine with you
I was so happy with you
Inexplicably happy
I want that again
I miss you sometimes
But then I remember the pain you caused me
I remember the lies
I remember you blackening my name
I remember you being a prolonged rebound that got too serious too fast
I remember giving myself to you
And I regret it
I regret you
Elizabeth Burns Aug 2018
Dear whoever

Please show him these letters
Elizabeth Burns Apr 2018
Am I such a ***** up to love
Is something  so wrong with me
I have standards
Is that too much
I don't want a boy
I want a man
Is that too much to ask for

You act like him sometimes
Why did I choose wrong again
Elizabeth Burns Oct 2018
I hate pining over my ex
But it's what I do
I ***** everything up
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
"There's something wrong with you"
That's all I hear
Ringing through my ears

"There's something wrong with you
You need help"

God
Elizabeth Burns Nov 2017
Dear Damian

I miss you

I dreamt you cried in my arms
And asked that I take you back
And then we kissed
And I don't know what to do
With these stupid emotions
Elizabeth Burns Oct 2018
D
You
Please tell him I miss him
More than anything
I never appreciated him
God, he was such a **** gem
But I wasn't ready
Please bring him Back, God
Please
Elizabeth Burns Aug 2018
I miss you
God
I miss him so much
Am I really such a ***** up
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
This isn't just a poem
It isn't art
It's a cry
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
Please don't be with her
Please  
I miss you
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2018
Why do
I
Always
Get
Abused
What is wrong with me
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
I'm so sick of drama
Maybe we should end this
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2018
I hate myself
I hate myself
I hate myself

All I do is cause havoc
That's all I am
I'm nothing
Elizabeth Burns Jul 2018
I saw him today
He ignored me
He resents me
He's a coward
Elizabeth Burns Aug 2018
Please God
Please God
Don't let him meet someone
Please let him wait for me to heal
Please
It was wrong timing God
Please
Elizabeth Burns Apr 2018
Damian
What's was wrong with me
Elizabeth Burns Dec 2015
The air is thin
And the light is dark.
But the warmth of this moment brightens the room
Transcending beauty this is

We sit
And we allow our minds to run over all that sits in our hearts and eats away at our souls

We sit
We drink the steamy cups of coffee
We allow our taste buds to grasp the flavour of the beans
However, as delight touches our taste buds
We converse
We listen
We see
We sit
Us three

Us three
We are souls that have been lost
We have eyes that tell tales
Tales that are not told in words, but hidden in the way that we watch
And note the world

Us three
I see her heart is on her sleeve
Her mighty, unwavering heart will not be stifled
She may not allow such passion to be withheld from the world
For she is made for His Glory.
She is made to drink from the fountain of youth with no fear
She is made to conquer
And stare down at their meek faces
As they watch her
In awe
In wonder
And in adoration

Us three
We prefer not to stifle that part of ourselves
That part that will be set free
That part that is bashing at the cage, begging, pleading
to be let out
To be
let out into the night
To go into enigmatically

I am nostalgic
For my former self
The girl who never allowed herself to focus on the dark, the girl who believed in flying
The girl who now never believes she will be taken out from captivity
From this dark pit
Oblivion,  
I believe I am there

She interrupts me and puts down the cold caffeine


Us three
She says that I cannot make more mistakes in my life than she has
She tells me that God has a plan, and the pain will soon end
She says that my Destiny will soon unravel from the tight coil
She says that His plan is delicately detailed and outlined in solid black
Like a work of art...

However, the dragon tends to blow his fire at the edges of the delicate page
No matter how small the burn, it makes a change
To the plan
What remains,
Is the art

No matter how much he taints it, my dear, it will still be a work of art
Your Destiny will be fulfilled.
Your heart will be set free

I weep.
I shake.
I gasp for air.
And I always believe in the moments of
Us three.
Elizabeth Burns Nov 2017
I think What's important
Is to make these beautiful memories
With fantastic people
Who make you feel better inside
Who make you happy
Who bring out the better side of you
People who heal your brokeness
Elizabeth Burns Apr 2018
I think it is
One of the most glorious of things
To see
Another being so vulnerable
In the palm of your hands
Eyes staring so intently
So raw
Enigmatic
Yet so clear

Vulnerability in the morn
Ever so soft
Pillows caress softly
Gently
Smooth against my skin
And your eyes
How they stare into my heart

As I sketch this image
Of nurture
And love
As you hold me

Vulnerability
How sweet you taste under my tongue
An enigma ever so true
I love you
Elizabeth Burns May 2016
I'm still waiting for you to tell me that I was more than just a meaningless fling... That I was more than just another girl you loved for a while
Because, my darling, I Remember those nights...
Those desperate nights that I would stay up with you until morning came
Those evenings I spent listening to your tranquil breathing
Staying with you
Those terrific times you would grasp my hand so tightly as if I held your world in my palms
I remember holding you close and praying for you, my love
I would caress your cheeks that were drenched with tears and I would love you...
I remember you telling me about you endearing love for rainfall and how it calmed your tormented soul
I remember falling so deeply in love with you in those moments of desperation, hopelessness and tranquility in being with you
You calmed me, my love
You took away all my pain
And I am still waiting for you to call my abandoned name.
Elizabeth Burns Aug 2016
Wake up and smell the poetry
In the crisp air of this new day
Don't you dare touch that electronic device!
Just wake up!
Fill your lungs with metaphors and figurative language
Breathe in the imagery
Breathe in the life of today
Look outside
And hear the birds singing to you
To hear their songs composed for those who must awaken
Wake up!
This is a new day
There is a song alive in each and every one of you
Wake up!
Fill your lungs!
Hear the poems echoing in your heart
And hear these sweet songs
Composed just for you...
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2016
We, we fight this ****** battle
We, we stand with confidence
As the blood of Jesus covers us
As we fight beside our King
As the blade he gave to You
Glistens in the sunlight

Red

This battle is red
As we are covered by His Blood

We fight
Beside Him
In this war
And we hold His Name up high

Hosanna in the Highest we proclaim with praise
The Blood of Jesus covers our souls and bodies

We fight against The Dragon
We proclaim our Heavenly Father's Name
With Rage
At this Beast
That tries to deceive us
That tries to take away His Overpowering Love

He, this Beast, who tries to steal our only hope

No, but Our King stands beside us
And we fight this ****** Battle
As we are covered by His Mighty Blood that was shed for our sins.
And we scream out in triumph
At this battle

For we are the Warriors of This ****** Battle
This everyday battle for Jesus Christ.
Elizabeth Burns Dec 2016
Perhaps you shouldn't give your all
To a man
Give him your heart
Your body
You open up completely
And fulfill every ****** whim


And what are you left with?

When all you seek is connection...
His heart... His dreams... His depth...

Nothing

You're left with a broken heart
Broken dreams
Because he is your all
He is your centre
And you mean nothing to him
He has a life
He doesn't want you every hour

And there is no problem with that
Perhaps one loses one's purpose...
You become so involved in the other
That you seek purpose in fulfilling ****** whims
And it's not enough
When you're alone at night
In your cold bed
With your thoughts shallow
And swimming wildly in your mind
He has no care

He wants ***.
He wants your body.

Your heart is nothing.

Leave
Leave...

Give yourself some time
You miss you
Be you, my love
Your eyes are sad
And you are no longer you
Where is your God loving heart?
What happened to you...
Elizabeth Burns May 2018
Do you recall
That brilliant mind you had
That could conjure up
The greatest possibilities
The most inquisitive dreams
Delectable desires
Star struck
Streaming slowly
Stirring your mind
Whizzing by and waking up
To insanity
To havoc
To fame and fortune ruined by greed
Wonderful stories
Awe inspiring tales
Oh that brilliant mind
What happened to eloquent words
And still silence of the mind
Wide eyes
Whisk me away again
Elizabeth Burns Dec 2017
I know you love me...
But what if...
What if I break you?
What if this broken girl
Breaks you?
I haven't healed yet...
I lust,
But I'm not ready to love
Or commit
To anyone...
Elizabeth Burns Jan 2016
I told my father once
that I was afraid of storms,
that they gave me a fright
But then he told me something
That changed my mind
He said storms reminded him
That the earth
Was alive.
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2018
"Please don't swear at me,"
she begged
as tears ran from her eyes
On the other end of the phone
"You deserve this," he screamed,
"You deserve to be sworn at."
Elizabeth Burns Oct 2016
"That's what passion looks like"
That's what you told me after you kissed me
After I gave you all I had
I gave you my entire heart
Every piece of my soul
And I don't want anyone else
I want you
And only you
My sweet love
You are my passion
I want you forever
You question me
'Will you die for me...
No no that's too easy...
Will you...
Live for me?'
Willing to stay beside you
Willing to be with you no matter what
Willing to hold onto us no matter what happens...
We will fight...
I say 'Yes'
I will live for you
Every day
Forever
You and I
Always.
A reciting of the Joker's lines...
Probably one of the most romantic and passionate lines ever said to me...
And I replied 'Yes' with absolute sincerity and truth.
Elizabeth Burns Nov 2018
I never thought I'd appreciate home so much... The last time I was home I was packing up for res and had long hair and life was normal. The saddest, most dramatic thing that happened thus far was a stupid heartbreak and I thought the was the end of the world. Then I got back to res and I felt strange. My diagnosis happenened and life changed complete after a man uttered three words into my life that changed my life into a series of hurdles and challenges and life completely changed. Nothing was normal. Life's focus completely changes and home is a far, distant concepts unknown to you. Home became a bubble. Home becomes a hospital room. I never knew I missed my own bedroom so much. God, you never appreciate something until it's gone do you. You don't appreciate anything until you year "you have cancer" and your greatest Fears come to life. You see your parents beg to God you'll live. You don't want to see them because you don't want reality to hit you. Then, you get home and you have to come out of this daze. This is real. This is happening. Cancer is so real and in your face. You can't avoid it anymore. This happened and you can't stay in this little positive bubble for too much longer. The bubble has burst and reality has hit you right in the face.
This happened.
But, you're surviving.
Elizabeth Burns Dec 2015
I feel as if my soul has been awakened from its long slumber in that dark and desolate evening. I feel as if my eyes have been opened from their sleep of a dull, grey and morbid life that has now been torn from the page and replaced by something new and white. Something white that is an empty canvas, but this canvas will not be grey again. This canvas will shine in that once dark night that will now turn a bright and burning white, blinding actually. This canvas will be filled with paint that tells the story of a new song, a new life and that new breathe of the living me.
This canvas is myself and I will not allow myself to be subdued nor burdened by this dull world who believes in moving, moving, moving, but never actually getting anywhere... I've decided that I will believe in magic again. I will not allow myself to dwell in suffering, for today is a new day and this is a new song that will not allow its rhythm to stop. It will not allow its heart to stop beating. This heart will never stop, this canvas will never be striked by the hand of evil because this canvas will be a bright and burning white, a blinding white.
Elizabeth Burns Jul 2017
I've always been fascinated by mist
This white purity
That can be so dark
And so cruel
Abducting
And blinding
You white darkness

Your satin fingers
Touch
So soft
So pure

And you **** with menace
White darkness
Swallow me in
Engulf me in your blinding light

Oh, sweet white darkness...
How you mystify me.
Elizabeth Burns Jul 2018
I am a writer
I am happy
I like to go out
I like curling my hair
I adore red lipstick and red scarves
I'm confused about my future
But that's okay, everyone is
I don't always like myself
I am shy
I stumble on my words when I'm nervous
Which is most of the time
I'm trying to gym
I'm trying to mend myself
I wish my writing was better
I enjoy singing
My singing teacher irritates me because she focuses on method
And less on emotion
Yet when I perform
They tell me I take them away to another place, another world
I like singing for people
I get emotional
Very easily
I'm studying a degree in mathematics
And physics
Yet my favourite part of it is Psychology
Which is an elective
And I can't major in it
Honestly I love it
But I don't have the patience and the heart for it in real life
I like music
It makes me content
I love sad songs
I love emotion
People make me nervous
I'm bad at relationships
According to my past two
Apparently I rely on them for my happiness
Maybe they are right
Maybe I need to find me
I like pilates
I like going out
I love dancing
But I've been told my ex I have two left feet
And now I need a drink to have the confidence to dance
Or else I stand like a wallflower
I enjoy drinking
Because it makes me confident
And I lose myself
And I laugh really loudly
I have terrible alcohol tolerance
One glass of wine and I'm out
Oh and tequila...
My weakness
I'm trying to heal myself currently
I've cut social media
I've stopped looking at the lives of those who have hurt me
Ignorance is bliss
I'm trying to find balance
I just want to heal
And be me again
I don't quite know what this is
If it's a poem
Or a list of truth
Of who I am
The things I don't ever tell anyone
This is who I am
And I've given it to you
Do with it what you wish
Elizabeth Burns Sep 2017
Who would love me
When I've got nothing left to give
Who would love me
When I'm a broken pitiful mess
Who would love me
When I've given up my dreams for the man with money
When I've given up poetry because I'm too afraid of the truth that spills from my fingertips
Who would love me
With my broken aching soul
Who would love this
This thing
This being
Who would love this
Stupid mess
I've become
Elizabeth Burns Dec 2016
My Christmas spirit withers
Frozen in a time unknown
At a younger, innocent time
Elizabeth Burns May 2016
Words.
Their immense power that no individual will truly understand.
Your words that linger
That tread my peaceful thoughts
That wreck my numb heart
That pulsate through me.
Words.
Your words
Laced into me
So strategically
And eloquently as you do
Words
The power of a single sentence that penetrates through me
Words
The words you said
The words that stay behind
The words that will never leave my troubled mind.
Elizabeth Burns Jan 2016
Wrench my heart out, why don't you?
It's yours.
In the palm of you hands
Break it.
I don't care
Tear its skin
I don't give a ****
Throw it in the dim
Light
I won't even get a fright
Not even a gasp from me

Oh, Gosh
It'll hurt like hell
It'll break me down
I'll never give it to another man, I whisper into the dark
With a tear stained face
Broken glass sits on the floor
From the shattered mirror
I tore down
From seeing me
Seeing this misery right before you
What do you think?
Am I weak?
Did I fall into your trap
Into this abyss of yours

I'm glad that I gave my heart to you
You sang it such a sweet
Heart melody
A lullaby
She fell for every word
Every single word
Uttered from those lips

So Wrench my heart out
It's yours to keep now
I'll never give it to anyone else
Keep it, dear
Live with my bittersweet misery
I am at peace.
Elizabeth Burns Jun 2016
Write about that empty feeling in your heart, my love
Write
Write until the ink is dry
Write
Write until your fingers burn
Write
Write until you feel the numbness within wither into nothingness
Write
Write until your thumbs bleed
Write
Write until that desire burning in your soul is quenched with the taste of fresh ink
Write
Write for those who don't have words
Write
Write for those who cannot speak
Write
Write for those you have lost
Write
Write for those who cannot hear your words
Write
Write for those who deafen themselves from your spoken words in this world
Write
Write for those who hide in the dark
Write
Write for all your forgotten dreams
Write
Write that song that sits in your heart as you sit behind that **** desk
Write
Write because you have something to say
Write
Write about passion
Write
Write about him
Write
Write for those you do not want to forget
Write

Write
Write
Write


And don't you dare stop

Write.
Elizabeth Burns Aug 2017
What scared me most about being a writer was...
The paranoia
The fear
The tragic ending of that brilliant tale...
I would come up with most adventurous, thrilling stories
With intrigue and suspense
Real life drama
But paranoia wouldn't leave me
I'd think
And I'd wonder
What if it was me...
What if...
What if...
I wonder of the damaged soul you have
How much you think
My dear writer...
I could never be you
I'd be much too afraid of the dark unknown.
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