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I was left alone
And I thought too much

I shouldn't be left alone
Ever again
I've thought about escaping
Not for long
Only for a night

And I want to travel
My neighborhood
And wander through their yards

I wish to sit in their back yards
And climb the big tree
In the front

To see what they dont see
And do see
All at the same time

I want to venture into their house
And sit on their couch
And analyze

I want to see
How others live and work
Because they are different

My family is different
Our home, different
Our attitudes change the house

Just one night
I want to escape
And explore

See what others have to deal with
And see it if is anything like
What I have to deal with too
My future is heavy
Heart beat is steady
All the weight of the world
Rests heavy on my shoulders

As I take the mic
And inhale a steady breath
I feel my self shake
And start to quake

As I inhale
I think of life
All my failures
All my glories

Grandpa showing me more
Than his coin collection
And my cousin playing
Dangerous games

Past loves
Past friends
Now a memory
Only a memory

I exhale
And the words pour
In lyrics
A melody

And when I finish
I wake up
And smile
Because in my dream

I tried
 Oct 2013 Elizabeth Ann
Jared Eli
Let me kiss you
Just once
On the cheek
So my curiousity can finally be
Satiated
I want to feel your soft skin
Brush against my lips
As I pull back from your face
"I bit your ear," I say
And you laugh
Because I only kissed you
No biting here
 Oct 2013 Elizabeth Ann
Jared Eli
Smile when you're walking, boy
Smile when you hurt
Smile when you're feeling down
And when you feel like dirt

Smile when the sun is up
Smile when it rains
Smile like you mean it
So it takes away your pains

Smile all the time, my boy
Smile all the day
And someday when you're dead and gone
Those smiles will come back your way
 Oct 2013 Elizabeth Ann
Jared Eli
listen to your rhythm, child
work it with the rhyme
and sew together a poem
for me
 Oct 2013 Elizabeth Ann
Jared Eli
Kick the kid, kick the kid
They all yell
They all scream
Circles of bloodthirsty vultures
Ready to dine on the misery of others
At the expense of both
The dignity of the attacker and the victim
His blood is on my shoes
My converse are stained now
Forever they will scream out
SHAME ON YOU, YOU ****
I don't want to be a monster
They are making me a monster
The world wants me to be a monster
I have to be a monster
To get by
I look down at him again
I don't want to kick him
But they keep shouting
I am so weak
Maybe if I kick him a little, they'll see how strong
I can be
kick
kickkickkick
kick
KICKKICKKICK
No more screaming
No more yelling
No more pulse
The crowd runs away
They leave me with my shame
And my stained shoes
And my victory
At least I have that
Victory
I have a problem
With keeping secrets
I never let one go
I know how to keep it

I hold on tight
Placing my blocks with care
Around my little secrets
I challenge people and dare

Dare them to climb over
The walls I've made
Around my secrets
In the walls I used to wade

But now I'm neck deep
In my walls
That's when you broke through
Like a wrecking ball

The dam broke
The secrets pour
You know almost every one
Except for one left on the floor

Leave that one there
Let it lie in mystery
My one last secret
And wonder what it could be
 Oct 2013 Elizabeth Ann
Swan girl
Memories can come
like a quick sharp point
or like a hard knock on the door
They may gently float by
and remind you that they're there
or waltz right into your path
when you least expect
Aching, painful reminders
of friendships long gone
or people far away
sometimes they linger
and nag at the back of your mind
other times they leave just as soon as they came

I wish they would go away
those smiling happy times
spent after school together
laughing in a pastry shop
dancing together
or lying under the stars,
telling each other adventures

But the memories won't go away
sometimes I wish they would,
sometimes I wish them to stay
with me forever
 Oct 2013 Elizabeth Ann
Jared Eli
Beauty pageant queen
Had a sad, sad life
All her mother wanted
Was to live vicariously
Through a beautiful daughter
All her daughter wanted
Was a mother who loved her for who she was
And didn't care that she was lesbian
But her mother beat her until she submitted
Her will and her life
With words and insults
Thrown as spears into the heart of the innocent child
The beauty pageant queen walked the steps confidently
Ready to reap the greatest reward she had never known:
Freedom
And as her mother read the note
And as her feet swung inches from her mother's grieving head
And as the coroner's men came and took her away
And as the nation was thrown into an uproar over a woman they never knew
And as the people in the streets pointed fingers and called the queen a *****
And as her father heard the news in his second house with his new wife
And as the homeless man she was kind to on the corner took his grubby hat off in mourning
And as the press went wild and blew everything out of proportion and dehumanized her pain
The queen didn't care because she was free from the world
Because she was away from the pain
Because she was exposed for what she was
Because she was dead
And she didn't much care about anything
Not anymore
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