a fake,
   a fraud,
       your smile.


look into the mirror


          look into your own eyes
they deceive you.


they share it with the world.
they show your pain.


you smile
        and they contradict you,
        
you laugh
        and they cry


you sing
        and they sigh


you hug
        they push away


        never letting your guard down
                      
                                   they still let us in
everyone knows
all your pain shows




you act happy
but we all know the truth






it's a fake,

   a fraud,
       your smile.

simple adoration
simple lovers' shame
simple hands in passion
will you call my name?

simple adoration
simple kiss and calls
simple couple moments
we'll triumph the walls

simple adoration
ample and so sweet
simple adoration
it's you i'd like to meet

hot chocolate fantasies
peppermint insanities
keep me warm when im cold
make me young when im old
sweet enticements
sugary excitements
make it real when i dream
stitch me up at the seam
joys and sorrows
yesterdays and tomorrows
this is all for you
ill prove its true
remember me
sweet memory

singled out.

    a round clown.

     it's all a fight. a flight. a struggle.

stay strong.

get along.

write me a story,

     sing me a song.

when it's right,

     it's not wrong.

          for, against.

          pro. con.

          un, non.

prefixes for life.

     take them in strife

     cut it with a knife

                          and breath. . .

                                   to succeed.

              

                  move. prove.




                       live.

work, and work, night and day
no sleep, no rest, no small getaway
sick, and sick, and violently ill
sick, still sick, pop a pill
dream, a dream, a beach so clear
dream, and dream, a sunbathed dear
warm, so warm, so smooth to touch
warm, so warm, so very much
sunbathed beauty, in the sand
sunbathed lover, take my hand
warm, so warm, almost too much
warm, and warm, i'm warm to touch
fever, haze, and dream awake
sick, so sick, more pills to take
drowsy, dizzy, daisy dukes
again, again, again she pukes
sleepy, sick, and a sunbathed beauty
this medicine is kind of fruity. . . .

I laid there
Forced awake by my mind's eye
and suddenly i realized i've always known you

i've always known it would be you
my heart
my whole
my happiness

dreadfully lost in your own world of worlds.
left behind and forgotten

have you met me yet?
I've met you.

here, there.

in my dreams you were always hiding
ever present in my newest nightmares

lost. so lost.

i'd care for you
i care for you

someday, you let me love you.
it's not here yet

sleep. no sleep.
lather, rinse, repeat

the stars whisper the future
they've already seen

the dress.
the dance.
the intamicy

I was her and you were he.
and i laid there

i laid there entangled in you.
i laid there entangled in me
i laid there

empty walls.
  time stalls.
    isolation.
     crowded halls.
      busy malls.
       anxiety.
        five hundred miles per hour in my head.
time.
space.
           gone.
so many,
        and yet,   so few.
me, me, me,
    now you.
inhale, exhale,
     breathe.
      blink.
      function.
dysfunctional . . .
brain drain, what's your name?
sleep.

a ballad in my heart
lyrics on my lips
guitar strings
upon my finger tips
i'll tell you my life's story
i'll sing you my love song
i'll write you all my glory
i'll hold you when it's wrong
play a tune with me
make it a sweet melody
listen to the records
record some new mixed tapes
download all our favorites
pay attention to the shapes ♥
hookup the microphone
plug the amp in
turn up the stereo
let the rocking begin

thump-thump
a beating
thump-thump
a meeting
hand holding
passion unfolding
blood flowing
never knowing
heart.

I know you're just a little bit away
but I miss you more than I can say
I need my grizzly bear at night
to love and cuddle and hold me tight
I take for granted how much you mean to me
and when your away its easy to see
I need you close I want you near
I can't sleep without you here

you
hurt
i
hurt
we
hurt
it's all your fault.

you're doing it again
you're being dumb
my friend

you
hurt
i
hurt
we
hurt
it's all your fault.

you're doing it again
you're killing you
it's killing me
you're doing it again
you're being dumb
my friend.

i
you
me
we
she
he
hurt.
it's all your fault.

you're doing it again
you're not listening again

ignorance
persistence

you're doing it again
you're being dumb my friend

Dance the day away
     Into the night we'll stay
          Twisted times call for twisted measures
               A tango with our sick pleasures
                    Start a fire, start a fight
               Step by step through the night
          A hurricane to break the glass
     A massacre to add some sass
First you shoot and then I'll fire
     What to choke with? Rope or Wire?
          One step, two step, three steps to shame
               This is our favorite little game
          Push and pull, you lead I'll follow
      Put the corpse into the hollow
  You're the Bonnie to my Clyde
Dancing always by my side

wasted time
wasted rhyme
wasted life
on wasteful things
wasted love
on wasteful people
wasteful thoughts
on wasteful memories
wasted hopes
on wasteful futures
it's all been thrown away

spread your wings,
     and fly
you've got to try


use the light as your guide,
     and glide
soar through the sky
like a nighttime butterfly


you're mystical
   and magical
in more ways than one


your wings glitter in the night,
    or in the sun


fly, fly, fly away
fly to welcome
   another day

In my dreams I saw you there
In my dreams I had you here
A hundred million miles couldn’t keep me from you
No matter what our love will pull through
In my heart you’re never far
In my heart I hold you near
A hundred million miles couldn’t keep me from you
No matter what our love will pull through
In my mind I know your mine
In my mind I see you clear
A hundred million miles couldn’t keep me from you
No matter what our love will pull through
In my soul I know its true
In my soul I know you’re real
A hundred million miles couldn’t keep me from you
No matter what our love will pull through

am i awake or am i dreaming
i do not know
are you him
or is he you
i do not know
inception
perception
conception
deceit
i do not know
do i remember
does she remember
does he know
does he remember
i do not know
take a walk
take a hike
2 am
put up a fight
is this real
am i real
i do not know
musical dream
inside a conundrum
constant consistent
i do
not
know

a picture, a poet, a thousand words
crumpled pieces of paper guarding the gateway to your eternity
a cigarette **** rolling in the wind
a cold draft sneaking in through a cracked door
a fish.
   stuck forever in it's little glass world
   open a window, let the leaves blow in
   spill your soda on the floor
remember summertime.


a step, a haze, a daydream-nightmare
   a wall   slowly coming down
   piece by piece, brick by brick
SNAP
the light turns on inside your head
                                  where millions of cockroaches now reside
                                               next to your feasting, beating, greedy
heart.

Shattered.
Like broken glass.
Your dreams just fade away.
Pick up the pieces.
In each shard,
See you.
See the reflection of the idea of you.
You're not real.
You are but a fragment of your own undesirable imagination.
You aren't really you.
You are a lie.
An idea dreamt up by you.
Your life is a lie.
Everything you've ever know,
Made up by the people in your make-believe life.
It's all a master plan.

please hold me when the world goes wrong,
tell me lies,  we'll move along.
hold me tightly in your arms,
sway me sweetly with your charms,
convince me of a better place,
across the stars and into space,
i love you and you love me,
but there's more to life to be happy.

and in your arms i shall stay, asleep, awake, away from day,
a knight amongst but feeble men,
a written story with a pen,
a monumental romance about our love,
the story created from above,
together for all to see,
the greatest love in harmony,
a knight so handsome a prince of light,
a lover not a fighter, but for love you'll fight,
  and in your beauty's breath so vain,
i could hear you call my name,
so in your arms i shall stay,
asleep, awake, alive today.

itch a scratch
  light a match
    strike a conversation
      take a shot
        make it hot
          sweet anticipation
            keeping tempo with a song
              several hours long
            beautiful creation
          talk to you
        for a day or two
      end communication
    goodbye
  don't cry
bitter manipulation

a love broken
a heart
apart
a fight so simple
a heart
apart
a grief so giant
a heart
apart
a tear so torn
a heart
apart
one piece now in two
a heart
apart
like me and you

sitting here
  alone
wishing someone were here
  all i want is love
    all i want is for someone to be near
i just want to hold a hand
i just want to feel arms around me
i want to share my thoughts
i want someone to speak openly
i want to share opinions
i want a common ground
i don't want fights with anyone
i want the music
  not the sound
i want a companion in life and death
i want someone to always be there
i want someone to have and to hold
i want someone to care.

and when i touch the stars you'll see
that you were only meant for me
we'll hold our hands up in the light
we wont surrender to this fight
our love is great our love is strong
its burns as a candle all night long
hold me tight when i dream
sew me up at the seam
and when i touch the stars you'll see
that you were only meant for me

hanging from the wall are posters
from another life
  another story
   another time
tear them down
start new
start fresh
blank walls in an empty room
fill it with me
my pictures
my posters
my story
my history
my bed
my couch
my stereo
my books
this is me.
i am new
and i am
me
and this is my
room

it's late.
goodnight.
i'll see you in the morning.
the sun will shine,
on you,
      so divine
traffic will flow,
      ever-so
and you'll be there
holding your head high
step by step
you'll stride
you, and all your pride
so goodnight
ill see you in the morning
another day
no other way
sleep tight
goodnight.

how is it that you're dead and gone,
  yet still here by my side?
how is it that after so long,
  you've come back to be my guide?
i've tried so hard to let go,
  to move on from you
the days and nights moved so slow,
   i thought i'd never make it through
your spirit has come to haunt me,
  it hurts to know your no longer real
you tell me to reach out and touch you,
  to reach out and to feel
your skin is warm,
  your touch is there
you came back,
  because you care
am i dreaming,
  is your spirit here
don't leave again,
  i need you near

sleep.
it comes in a dream
white noise flooding out all sounds
dark.
light.
flip.
turn.
stress.
pace back and forth.
to-and-fro.
in my mind.
bags like bruises rest beneath
the openings of my soul.
sleep where have you gone?
in the tick of the clock?
or the creak of the floor?
preoccupied with the slow breaths of another's nightmare?
come back to me.
i wish to
dream.
sleep.

born asleep
born in dread
the angels wept
whilst you slept
wake
wake dear child
and see
this world is not home
not mine
not yours
not ours
this world is home to demons
demons of greed
of love
of hate
of vanity
of all things good and evil
stand guard
fight me
fight you
a breath forgiven
and air, forgot
blue lips
black eyes
forever and always
say your goodbyes

your heart, it burns
like fire, it churns
for love, it yearns


my heart, it's cold
like ice, i'm told
it's wise, it's old


your heart, so free
so light, without worry
it's so different from me


my heart, it's guarded
from love, now parted
once more it's beating has started


your heart, so bright
my heart, so faded
our hearts so different
our love, so jaded

close your eyes
open a new door
take a step forward
it's time to explore
ready, set, go
don't fear change
broaden your horizons
expand your range
you can do it
i promise, i swear
just stick to it
take a dare
it's a risk and a challenge
but i know you're strong
you can make things right
when it's all wrong
so good luck, get going
you'll make it through
just keep fighting
i have faith in you

when nothing is right
  will you be my wrong

there's nothing in sight
  the birds have no song

i'll close my eyes
  to dream of you

will the sun rise
  will we make it through

tomorrow, tomorrow
  will the world end

let me borrow
  let me comprehend

give me sight
  into the future i'll see

i will ignite
  we will be free

to breathe is to live
is to life is to know
is to learn is to teach
is to cause is to show
is to see is to feel
is to know what is real
is to touch is to sense
is to smell is to hear
is to taste is to bite
is to pain is to fear
is to cry is to sad
is to death is too near

you've taken it all.
my life.
my love.
my memories.
you've left me with nothing.
you filled me up with pain and loss.
replacing my joy, my light,
   with darkness.
you're a thief.
you're a liar.
a user.
a taker.
i am empty.