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 Oct 2013 Elise
thea
This boy,
who had so much light in his eyes
whenever he talked about the things he loves.
This boy,
who was my best friend
the person I can share the deep thoughts of my mind with.
This boy,
who never failed to be right by my side
when I just needed holding.
This boy,
who was there to listen
to my pointless ramblings and complaints and curses.
This boy,
who put up with all of my ****
even if it humiliated him and most of the time, pained him.
This boy,
who invested his time
talking to a boring girl like me.
This boy who dedicated so much and cared so much and loved so much.
This boy,
who did not push me to love him
but instead tried his best to show reasons for me to love myself.
This boy,
who had so many ideas
kept all to himself.
This boy,
who put so much effort into helping me
that he forgets to help himself.
This boy,
who doesn't know how brilliant he is
but is focused on his flaws.
This boy,
who wrote beautiful poems
always unnoticed.
This boy,
who was so in love with a girl
that he was willing to die for her.
This boy,
whose good heart
was so tired and fed up.
This boy,
who wanted to give up
and give in to the voices inside his head.
This boy,
who carried so much pain in his heart
and hatred in his skin.
This boy,
who dragged cigarettes
in the evening hoping to release the pain.
This boy,
who simply wanted to escape
from the pains of feeling worthless and unrequited love.
This boy,
who was willing to free himself
and fly from the roof.
This boy,
who wanted to die.
This boy,
who was losing the light
in
his
eyes
.
 Oct 2013 Elise
thea
I wait, excited for when I see you again.
touch your fingers
kiss your lips
hear your voice.

But you always wanted more.

Because instead of wanting to see me
you wanted to see how the dress you bought looked on my body,
instead of touching my fingers
you wanted to invade  the parts of my body i regarded sacred,
instead of kissing my lips
you wanted to devour my mouth
and dominate me to show how weak i am,
instead of hearing my voice
you wanted moans and cries of pleasure
screams for the world to hear that I belong to you.

I sit here on the bed.
After your rounds of happiness and my forced labor.
I ask you who was the girl that you were so clearly flirting with last night and you tell me  it was just harmless flirting
and I bite my tongue
because i wanted to scream at you
Is it harmless,
that when you canceled on our date because you said you were sick,
someone told me that they saw you at a club, that you were gripping that girl's waist
and grinding on her like you were her man?
Is it harmless,
that everyday you rub it in my face how immensely inexperienced and timid i am
compared to the other girls you've been with?
Is it harmless,
that you asked me if it's okay if you ***** other girls
and I was taken aback and it was clear that I didn't approve?
You said
"They don't really mean anything, I just need some variety."
I knew right there that even if I didn't allow you, you'd still do it.
And right now
I’m just confused more than ever as I ask you again
What exactly we are and you say
“We're exclusively dating.”
But most of the time it’s more like
exclusively *******
with each other
with other emotions
with our non-existent commitments.
Because after just a mere 5 minutes of you being with me
and I refuse to spread my legs for you,
you have the nerve to lie to my face and look me in the eye and say
"My love for you gets stronger everyday."
And I swoon, being the naive little girl that I am
I am hung up on your words and I say yes when you ask me if we're okay.
But I know that by okay you mean okay with being invaded.
And with every pound, with every ******
The word love is replaced by lust
so now the sentence is
"My lust for you gets stronger everyday
and my love for you decreases the same."

I am so tired and so worn down from the weight of all my insecurities and you come hobbling in with your own bag of insecurities and stick it inside of me which you only do when other girls don't want you to.

Well guess what
For the first time in my life,
I'm
gonna
say
no.
It's my first time to submit a poem here so I really hope you all like it.
Feel free to give me constructive criticism cause I'm really still new to this.
***
 Jun 2013 Elise
Kevin Rose
Give me your wrist and I'll kiss it softly
Show me your pictures of old and new
Give me your words, I'll eat them thoughtfully
Tell me your furthest hidden feelings

Give me a picture of
Give me your thought on love
Give me your everything
even the air you're breathing

Infect me with love unbenign
Hold nothing back so we are entwined
I'll hold it all deep down inside
Tape down the button stick us on rewind

Give me your wrist and
Give me your hand
Give me your time
and you will be mine

I want it all
Not a taste
Not a nibble
I want it all
 Jun 2013 Elise
Nabil Ahlhauser
I found you
Like a child crawling back to his parent
You never left
But I did
I deserted our nightly conversations
I stopped waking up each morning praising you
I thought I could side step you
And I was wrong
You have always been important and always will be
But some days I forget that
I put my pretend desires first
But you didn’t

You sent her to me
A friend who doesn’t side step you
One who doesn’t just praise you each morning and night
But in every conversation
She exemplifies your qualities in ways I used to only dream about
She shows her love for your beauty in her words
She teaches me about your strength in her actions
And she reminds me why I need you
Because I do
I am a child, you’re the parent
I’ll try to test my limits
But you already know them
You know my weakness, my strength
You know me better than anyone else ever could

I have started to praise you again
At night, I sit on the couch eager for our conversation to begin
In the morning, I jump out of bed, ready to shout your name
I may have stupidly decided to live by myself
But like a child crawling home
I have found you again
 May 2013 Elise
dr Jade
Boy:  I saw her today
Girl:  I bumped into him earlier
Boy:  She's never looked better
Girl:  He still looks the same
Boy:  I couldn't stop staring at her
Girl:  He couldn't even look me in the eye
Boy:  I was happy to see her
Girl:  I felt awkwardness on his part
Boy:  I gave her a big smile
Girl:  He was being polite
Boy:  I asked her how she was
Girl:  It was just small talk
Boy:  I remembered the good times we had
Girl:  He's probably happier now
Boy:  I still love her
Girl:  He doesn't care for me
Boy:  I mean it
Girl:  He never meant it
Boy:  I want to see her again
Girl:  He's just saying that
Boy:  I want her back
Girl:  He's moved on
Boy:  I held her close, hoping she'll know
Girl:  He hugged me, then he let go
Boy:  I asked if I could call her later
Girl:  He said goodbye
Boy:  I lost her  
Girl:  I love him so much...
 May 2013 Elise
H M Jeffrey
I Wish
 May 2013 Elise
H M Jeffrey
When I hear your voice I ache inside
I wish from this pain I could run and hide
Even though try as I do
I can't seem to forget about you
Just when I think it won't hurt anymore
I hear your voice and it shakes me to my core
I see a shooting star and I wish to above
I wish to forget it was you that I love
I wish to forget the last year gone by
If only I could forget I wish with a sigh
 May 2013 Elise
H M Jeffrey
Anxiety
 May 2013 Elise
H M Jeffrey
Can't breath; no air
Oxygen seems so rare
Not right; something's wrong
The pressures so strong
Pounding heart; pounding too fast
Must wait and pray it won't last
Can't think; thoughts scattered
All illusions gone completely shattered
No tears; none to cry
Does no good to question why
Can't be fixed; so broken
Anxiety such a prize token
 May 2013 Elise
H M Jeffrey
Please dear God hear my prayer
Maybe give me a sign you still care
I do things you wouldn't condone
But please don't leave me all alone
I'm not a thief and I'll never ****
If you don't forgive my sins then nobody will
Always trapped in some form of cage
Made to perform on life's unforgiving stage
Walking down your path I lost my way
It was never my intention to walk astray
Please forgive me for I have sinned
I know to your will I should bend
The Devil's Toy placed me in a haze
It brought out in me my selfish ways
If I could take back it all
Maybe then I could stand up tall
Please grant me the streghnth to face each day
And the wisdom to find my way
Help me to say no to sin
This in your name I pray amen
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