I wish i knew you then,
where have you been, my friend,
i'll carry you in my pocket,
closest to my heart,
you'll never be forgotten,
i want you with me always,
keep you safe and warm,
no other can be of harm to you,
i love you truly, honest.
my name is yours to keep,
hold it against me if need be,
love, you're mine,
i'll give you all of me in time,
i never want me back,
i trust you fully,
my heart's for you.

Not fighting it,
letting it happen,
letting the darkness of the water fill your lungs,
letting the weight push you down,
sinking slow at first, faster as you lose consciousness,
no pain, just numbness,
thoughts being erased,
your soul escapes your body,
now you are free.

darkness.
cut cut cut cut.
bite bite bite.
blood. so much blood.
iron.
drowning.
water-filled lungs.
sinking fast.
no air.
black
black
black
no gasping.
giving up.
lifeless.
no use.
silence.
stillness.
peace.

You don't need to be
the brightest star in the sky
to be someone, my dear.

Everything you do in life
will matter, please don't fear.

The love you share,
the words you say,
the dresses that you make,

a smile on his face,
a laugh from her lips,
the confidence gained
from the dress that fits.

You don't have to be
the brightest star in the sky
to be someone, my dear.

Every breath you take,
every word, every stitch,
every step you make,

effects another,
one change at a time,
making you somebody,
stitching together you.

I missed saying your
      name to you,
I missed how you say mine,
      always with such
            certainty,
you always take your time.

I missed the way you talk
      to me, your words,
they make me blind, so
      completely sure of
             yourself,
my darkness turns to light,
       now that you're back
             in my life.

It's cold,
the blankets aren't enough.
You stir, your hand strokes
my arm.
Chills run through me,
I take you in my arms;
no intention of letting go.

All I wanna do is make you smile,
whatever it takes,
i'll stay with you forever,
i'll be your shoulder,
i'll be your sunshine.

I met you outside
on a cold autumn day; your
gaze kept me warm, love.

I wish I could write forever,
I wish my thoughts
          never stopped thinking in rhymes,
          never stopped counting syllables,
          never stopped making metaphors.
I want to be the poem,
I want to be the art.

Reading in the grass,
my head resting on your chest,
one hand in my hair,
my head rises and falls,
as your lungs take in my scent.

You put the book down,
roll us over on our side,
I pull the grass out of your hair,
your hand falls down the length
of my spine.

No distractions,
just me and you,
my body against yours,
we've nothing better to do.

Your hand wanders under my shirt,
now it finds my breast,
my face buried in your neck
and I lose my breath.

I'm under you now,
your eyes wild,
hair's a mess,
I can feel your heart beat with mine,
like they will jump right out of their chest.

The heat of the sun keeps
our bare bodies warm,
and your teasing lips leave
me begging for more.

The scent of the flowers
(or is it just you?),
sends me to the most euphoric places
I never before knew.

Now i'm in control,
couldn't wait any longer,
you deserve to be pleasured,
lay you gently on your back,
now you're all mine to forever treasure.

Kissing the parts of you that you despise most,
letting you know just how beautiful
you truly are,
wordlessly caressing your soft skin,
my lips moving down,
your heart caving in.

You let out a sigh,
a breath of fresh air,
I know you want more,
your muscles tense,
now i'm sure.

As far down as I'll go,
I look up for approval,
your eyes look longing,
your body's agreeing.

I lower my head to your sweetest scent,
i'm hungry, my heart's been starving,
you're feeding my love.

Your body, it shakes,
reacting under mine,
your muscles releasing the darkness,
allowing the light.

My lips find yours,
a breathless, 'I love you'
comes in through my teeth,

nothing left but the fluttering
of butterfly wings in our ears
and the hum of two heartbeats
releasing lovers' fears.

no sleep at night
      with you breathing
slowly by my side,

I have to leave the bed
      to control myself and
steady the thoughts in my head.

5:32 a.m; walk outside
      to the mist consumed
field,

thinking i'm alone,
      you sneak up behind me,
taking my hand;
      our fingers now sealed.

your hair catches in the breeze,
      my face brushed with your scent,
everything your presence brings
      puts me at ease.

your hand moving up,
      you pull my face in,
my lips on yours;

      first kiss with this dawn's
      mist as our only witness.

look through the mirror,
     into my soul, not
just a body,
     not just a mold.
                 inside is the universe,
                 the stars in the sky,
                 only beauty can come
                 from your dark mind.
your heart may be broken,
     mine may be too,
together we'll conquer,
     our demons will lose.
                   take my hand, darling,
          fate brought us here today,
     to fight the same battles
before it's too late.

don't leave me in
           the morning,
stay forever.
           you are my everything.
my world,
           my universe.

i cannot see the stars in the city,
and it reminds me that like the stars,
you are also gone.

when i think of you
i think of the stars.

love conquers all, right?
then tell me, why have I loved
you without a glance?

Heart pounding,
blood pumping,
muscles tense,
It's gonna beat right out of my empty chest.

Tears pouring,
eyes burning,
lashes fall,
did you ever really care at all?

Mind racing,
head aching,
jaws tight,
when you left you took all of my light.

Body shaking,
hands quaking,
arms outstretched,
thinking you'll come back is so far-fetched.

Through the fights,
and the rage,
and the love,
on each page
of our book,
when you give me that look,
the one that says it all,
it proves our passion,
who could resist,
just never give me that very last kiss,
your lips would be mine to forever miss.

What love is worth the time,
if there is no fight?

My trust in you is beyond words,
I hope it's not in vain,
I hope your trust in me is just the same.

My love for you is out of this world,
you kept me sane when I needed you,
I hope your love for me will shine right through.

My generosity towards you is genuine,
no strings attached, nothing to win,
I hope you realize it's not a sin.

My lack of fame shows it all,
without yours would you be here to see me fall?
Your fame wasn't needed,

*to meet was our fate, no other explanation is needed to recall.

...and I remember the first day I saw you,
our first adventure together,
you pulled out a Cheshire cat,
you knew my favorite everything,
our first adventure,
our last.

Rumor has it
I was wrong,
it was me who ****** up,
you were right all along.

I couldn't help it though,
you should've known,
those words weren't from me,
I was lost and alone.

I cried no tears,
they wouldn't come out,
just shook and screamed,
did you hear me shout?

I know it's too late
for you to want to understand,
but maybe in the future
you'll take back my hand.

No one watched me fall apart,
left alone in the darkest dark,
no light left here, no one near,
only the ghost of me writhing in fear.

I stayed by the side of everyone I love,
each left me abandoned,
no hope from above.

Emptied I became,
body, soul, mind,
no love left to give,
leaving everything behind.

I loved you with everything that I had,
I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you,
but there's no longer reason to be sad.

This will be my final goodbye,
I apologize for my crimes,
I thank you for your time.

I thought i'd be better
without you,
but it's just getting harder
as the days pass by,
the clock ticking fast,
my heartbeats racing past,
your face burning in my mind,
the time is making me blind.

I thought i'd be better
without you,
your soul burning bright,
sends me shivering in the night,
as I rock back and forth,
praying for your words to reach me,
wishing that you'll want to keep me.

I thought i'd be better
without you,
my lungs cease to breathe,
my eyes in searing pain
as my mascara tears fall.

I thought i'd be better
without you,
feelings growing strong,
knowing I can live without you
makes me want to never be,
makes me want to stay,
but not the way that you want me.

I will have to remain without you,
will I fair? *I will have to try.

To be able to tell you all the things I am thinking,
all the ways I want to heal you,
to listen to the stories of how each scar
has been etched into your soul,
this would mean the world to me,
I want to hear, I want to know.

Lying on your side,
your eyes focused right on mine,
I would search the depths,
I would look through the golden brown,
to find that place that you keep hidden,
to see your darkness,
and to fill it with my light.

Soft hands on your cheek,
as I wipe away the salty tears
that fall slowly.
I say, "if you want salt water,
let me take you to the ocean".
Would you let me or would
you walk away?

If only I could tell you,
if only you would let me
show you the love I have for you,
would you understand,
but instead i beg,
"let me hear, let me know".

I don't know what is right,
I don't know what is wrong,
how much should I fight,
should I stretch it out long?

You left me here,
out on this limb,
all full of fear,
my walls are closing in.

Do you want me to fight,
is that what you need,
because I will with all my might,
or will you pay me no heed?

It is as if someone has taken every
single one of my poems about you
and plastered them all over the walls
in my room.

Every which way I turn I see my words,
my feelings, on display for anyone
who cares to see.

I want to tear them down, but they are stuck,
they are forever, they were real feelings,
they were put into words,
by my own two hands.

I feel as if I have betrayed you,
I didn't mean to,
I want the best for you,
but now I am so afraid to lose you.

Stay in my life,
I will find a way to get these poems
off the walls,
I will find a way to make the feelings
disappear.

Let me stay,
I want you near,
everything is wrong,
you misunderstood,
I couldn't help it,
my heart felt too quick.

The poems are bleeding,
the ink is evaporating,
you're breathing it in,
it's a poison.

I have betrayed you,
make it stop,
i'm losing control,
I can't stop the words from melting,
your words are cold as ice.

Let me stay,
it can change,
we will find a way.

There may be no fire,
but that doesn't mean
there is no substance.

Why can't I feel this pain?
I know it is there but I cannot feel it,
you have taken that from me,
and now she has hurt me like you did
and I cannot feel the pain.

I long for that pain,
I want to ache from this.

Instead I dance.

What's really ****** up is that
you know how you have been
treating me and now you just
are not going to talk to me because
running is obviously the only option.

What's really sad is you know
that you feel this way too,
you know that I would actually
be there, unlike everyone else.

Why are you so scared to let someone
actually see you for who you are?

I don't even think I want it anymore.
I don't even know if it is worth it.

Do you know I like to be called crazy?
Do you know what you do to me?
Are you trying to make me your baby?

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring,
but I know that I must tell you how I
feel before it's too late, before you
choose someone else without even
thinking of me in consideration.

I knew this fear had a reason for building
itself back up, I knew my nerves were not
for nothing, so now I must act, I must tell you.

There is no moment like the present, and
I cannot sit back and watch someone else
steal you away again. At least not without
you knowing what you mean to me.

I am scared. I am finally scared as hell.
This better be worth it. I don't want to
find the pain again. I don't want my
soul to escape me.

I don't know what to do,
as I wade helplessly through
these murky waters,
because I fear that you have
once again slipped through the
cracks of my foolish fingers,
and the darkness of the swamp
has returned as I am left
grabbing the muggy air
where I know I will not find you.

I am completely in love
and I cannot get myself out of love.

It is like I am swimming in a pool of Jell-O,
floating, no effort,
but stuck, never moving,
forever and ever and ever.