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I don't care if I only get to live once,
Because at least then I get to look at the stars.
I want to cut them down one by one
and keep them somewhere safe,
in an old yellowed journal between the sheets, I
I wanna keep you somewhere safe between
my sheets.
This light globe keeps on spinning makes me dizzy,
it's a ride, it's my stop and I wanna get off.
Make this carousel stop.
Or lay it on the table, all promise and paint,
let it play you a sleeping song,
Til your butterfly lids crinkle in a pale yellow light
Like the paper in the journal
That held the stars.
This is a work in progress.
 Jan 2014 Eleutherophobia
Hulio
I see nothing more than what I want
How great this is and what is now
Nothing more than mindless words
My feelings, written on this pad
Expression with a tolence for emotion
Nothing more than what already is
Everything is relative
Everything is anything with a twist of something
Forever and ever is not to be
When time traps life in ways it will not find its way out
I stare blankly at him
To show that my feelings are dim
I didn’t utter a word
Knowing it’ll just hurt like a sword

He asked me why I’m like this
That my face once full of bliss
Has been taken away abruptly
To a different world unknowingly

There was a moment of silence
A moment that was filled with tense
A silence that no one dares to break
For each other’s sake

The look on his face struck me
His eyes showing deep sympathy
He knows what he have done wrong
That I’ve been hiding all along

I turned around and walk away
I know he can’t stop me today
He said he doesn’t want to be left
But I don’t want to be with someone deaf

My feelings for him weren’t real
Our relationship seems like a deal
He should’ve known so he wasn’t broken
With my words left unspoken
 Jan 2014 Eleutherophobia
GK
Within my mind, perfect you stand,
And it's you who holds the upper hand,
Yet we are but acquaintances, at last,
An obscure future and without a past,
Obsessive habit besieges once again,
A distant appreciation with tainted fame,
For in your presence, I have become  afraid
You shan't be the person  who I have made.
We die everyday,
Slowly but surely we sink into oblivion
We are so many things at once
Yet all die eventually,
All die, and they are replaced by different things,
So that we become different,
To the point where we don't even remember
Where it all started,
Or where it will end.
We go toward what is unknown
The cold darkness that
Is a lack of consciousness
The inabililty to understand
The world around us any longer.

I am walking on a path,
The surface of it rubs against my feet like sand paper,
Water is all around me cavering the path and lapping at my feet,
Making it so cold that I almost can't feel them
Yet there is always some kind of awareness that says
I must have feet because I am walking.
I grasp onto a skinny smooth railing that floats above the path,
It is my only source of sanity,
And, in itself, could be considered a reality.
There's nothing to see
But the railing;
The angry white tips of tiny waves that crash
Over my feet and the edge of the path
They line the path,
I can see them until they disappear into the dark.

Fear is my only companion.
Another constant to join the white tipped waves and railing.
I have nothing here.
And yet it is all I know,
For what is a human's progression through life
But the following of a path that seems to have no end
And holding tight to the aspects of our lives that never seem to change?

There is no beginning or end in 'life'
And we have little understanding of how we pass through it,
We wish and hope and dream
But do we really know why?
Do we really understand our desicions?
Yet does it even matter to understand anything at all?

We all die
But we don't know why
We don't understand
Why the path never ends
We always yearn for more
But we don't understand what it is we yearn for
We walk on in isolation
Waiting for the end with infinite patience.

We all die
And there is no reason
No answer
To the why.
 Jan 2014 Eleutherophobia
Carey
Everyday is hard for me
the thoughts the feelings
the desire and longing to it the end
and when will it end
How will this end
How can I go on like this

the lack of sleep is getting worse
the thinking and dreaming of dying and death
that live in my head
the hurting and pain never lefts me
Carey
 Jan 2014 Eleutherophobia
tayler
darkness signals the
retreat into
the shell
of sea-side
sounds.
they whisper
innermost thoughts
of blindness and
profound seconds
of suspended
fallen flowers.

the recluse
can see more
in the deepest night
than the lightest
day.

thoughts circle with
the stars, as the
atrophy of apathy
begins
and the menagerie of
faltering frowns
follows.
At 4 in the morning you hear nothing but the soothing music playing softly from your speakers
At 4 in the morning you see nothing but the calm undulations of your brain waves running over your eyelids
At 4 in the morning you taste nothing but the lingering mint essence of your toothpaste in the back of your mouth
At 4 in the morning you smell nothing but the    soft linen detergent from your favorite purple pillowcase
At 4 in the morning you touch nothing but the fuzzy brown teddy bear you got on your 4th birthday
At 4 in the morning he snuck in while your consciousness was altered by your sleep
He crept up the stairs and peaked into your room
Your face morphed into a pale shade of blue and a worrisome look crossed his face
He stroked your cheek as you regained your breath
He took it from you
He politely sifted through your things and turned to glance at you with those icy blue eyes
You clutched your heart and a crestfallen look usurped his smile
He rested his hand upon yours as you calmed down, right on top of your heart
He stole it from you
He sat down beside you and closed his eyes
You started to toss and turn, grabbing at your hair and a perplexed look furrowed his brow
He leaned towards you and kissed your forehead as you finally lay still with peaceful thoughts
He invaded every single one
At 7 in the morning you hear nothing but his voice whispering inside your ear "I love you"
At 7 in the morning you see nothing but the elated smile and exaggerated dimples resting on his face
At 7 in the morning you taste nothing but the flavor of his lips locked inside yours
At 7 in the morning you smell nothing but the       lingering scent of the cologne he fell asleep in
At 7 in the morning you touch nothing but the warmth of his skin as he wraps his arms around you
He may be a thief when you aren't paying attention
But he is the love of your life, at all hours of the day
The time had come for two hearts to go their own way. 

It wasn’t sad; it wasn’t angry; just profoundly honest;

In the whirlwind of young life
Their love sudden
He blew her away
She caught his breath
The lust explosive
Captivated by each others touch
Living the dream
Fancy London apartment
Chanel and Bottega Veneta
Cap D Antibes
Woke to keys of an MG
Squealed with delighted
***** and Wine
Yet in the depth of this life
Fighting to be free
To own their souls
Losing sight of love
The power of another life
Kept them chained
In the birth of her breath
It came to an end


The legacy off their passion
A sparkling spirit
In the shadow of that spirit
Never to know
The geniuses of
Her soul
No captured memories
His dying voice
Silent to her life
the rain sank the goodness into the ground,
an attempt to better the world with aesthetics replacing the dangerous cracks in the sidewalk
the mud encapsulates my deepest fear
my feet, cemented inside, like quicksand I'm sinking
Chances of surviving are a million to one
as i scan my brain for a trace of impending chances
but i will never see the sun set on the east side
and the birds won't sing when the frigid rain is biting their tongues and feeding on their despair
to live a life in despondancy, or to rise above the rut i am sinking in
the mud never lets it's victims leave, no redemption, no second chances
the clock strikes "over" and a thought about the future is not allowed to cross my mind, for the bridge has closed
and the boats sank under the water
i would run down the sidewalk forever, searching for a purpose
but im stuck
i am motionless while the rest of the city passes by me
invisibility brushes my hair and clothes my skin
ever since i fell victim to Despair and it's awful side effects
I held the future on a string, but as i dangled it above the balcony 10 stories high
what more could i expect than to lose it within the countless busy footprints of those who walk with both feet on the ground
Mine will be irrevocably stuck onto the pavement while i watch everyone else take off with their wings attached
and their smiles plastered on their faces
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