i took a walk
across the plains
that scattered thoughts from branch to branch
all across the sky
i let them float around my head
outside my body
outside my control
the breeze picked them up
sent them dancing away
like clouds gently pushed
gently encouraged
gently
happily
away
i closed my eyes
leaned against the bark of a monstrous being
that carried my thoughts away in the wind
away into nothing
away into everything
away from me

Everything I had sought
To expel out
Had stayed within
Caught between my teeth and
Laced within my lips
Every word I tried to say to you
Became an utter
Silenced by the tension in the room
Shattered by my stutter
For now the silence has to do
For now I will just wonder
What would have happened otherwise
If I had told you sooner

This one is dedicated to all my aspiring writer friends - creative creatures with deep yearnings to mold meaningful words into art. Waiting for the inspiration but can't find the words just yet... for reasons of their own.

If I could...
I'd write about the feeling of new love emerging within – butterflies fluttering in my core, perpetual longing of your embrace, the simple pleasures that showed you cared and that my efforts were not in vain…

If I could...
I'd shout out your name from the rooftops, my thoughts echoing all of the ethereal and spine-tingling sensations of rapturous delight, consuming me…

If I could...
I'd surrender my body, heart and soul to you, for the mere joy of having it welcomed by your waiting arms, ready to ravage and take me to my edge…

If I could...
I'd rest my mouth against your sacred skin, breathe in your essence and honor you with all that is truly me, without fear…

If I could...
I’d find the inspiration within me to flood pages and pages with my love-stained ink flowing directly from my heart through my veins and down to my pen...

If I could… I would.
But now this writer writes nothing of the kind, trapped in a loop of uncertainty. Sorrow and resignation sleep with my soul, becoming my new Master. For Love has slipped from my grasp once more. I wait in the hope to write beautiful sonnets and declarations of boundless love finally returned unto me… someday. And our love would leap from this page and live eternally with the stars. They would read my words of adoration and cherish you the same way I always have. If I could only find the words...

I crave the emotion that carries me into reckless abandon where my meanings will be felt.

For now, I will sit back and watch others profess devotion for their lovers to the nth degree. I pray that one day, my heart may awaken again and pour out the utterances my soul longs to fashion for you, still indescribable to me.

With honesty
hiding under that
Big breathe filling both cheeks
That you can’t seem to
Fully exhale through
Tucked between
Two shaking hands
As you realize
Your power
To change the world

With vulnerability,
Just behind that
Wall Of fear that you can
Unlock
By meeting someone eyes
And simply letting them
Love you.
It’s there
In that moment
Of admittance You're not
Invincible
And allow a
Loving hand
To help guide you
Through

With Forgiveness,
Of the woman
Who told you
You couldn’t,
The dad
That chose alcohol
Over you,
The girl
In middle school
That had you hiding
In the bathroom stall
Crying to your mom

With Christ,
Who has felt
It all
Gives you
A place
Where you’ve always belonged
Of love
Courage,
And Strengrh.
Healing,
Redemption,
And understanding.

frothing boil
over green liquid blue
i gasp for air
*******
down
legs kicking
arms flailing
panic
anger
life flashing
sadness
fear
i fill my lungs
last breath....
last breath...

wind chimes and I think of you
when your laughter echos
stillness in my heart  
when you hold me with your gaze
blue eyes shining like the stars
on a clear night
captured like a fox in a snare
helpless and wanting

discomfort followed by pleasantry
a smile and a little light conversation
touch hands a strong connection
a vision takes me to places
as we dance under a rainswept sky with lightning
passionately ******* each other
soaked to the bone  as we kiss
snap back to present as you say goodbye
we part company unknowing
past or future potential

my old stomping ground
a violent playground
where kids emulate birds
the pecking order
last one to the sandbox
goes to prison
blood, sweat and knuckle sprains
truimph, loss and growing pains
but i am not the sum of it
nor it the sum of me
i have lived other lives
so why do i identify with it so strongly

i feel alive.