Nothing interesting about today,
Unless my life is fill with your embrace
But today was just like a normal day,
Where I tend to keep myself away.

I woke up to a video your friend posted on instagram,
I find it cute,
The way you talk,
The way you teased him,
The way you laughed,
I caught myself laughing to you,
My world.

It would be great,
If I were to wake up,
To your sloppy good morning text,
Or wake up to waking you up,
Because you are always late.

Why do I know so much?
How do I know?
Why did I need to know?

Because darling,
You mean the world to me,
Even though I didn't mean anything to you,
Never in a second.

I'll try and be brave for you,
But I'm just not quite sure,
Whether I'm ready to be falling so hard for you,
Or vice versa.

Its day 12,
I think,
I'm going back to the start,
I think.

I skipped day 10,
Cos I ain't got any feelings ,
I didn't lost my count darling,
I just lost you.

I don't know whether the feelings,
Are coming back or not ,
For the time being,
I would say,
I'm in a confusion state.

Well we did meet each other at school,
Probably not everyday,
But we meet,
From far,
I still looked at you tho,
Just not as frequent as before.

I kinda miss searching for you,
I kinda miss a lot of things.

I'm not suprised ,
If one day,
I started to have the same feelings,
All over again....

Plus,its not a bad thing,
Liking you all over again,
Start from the bottom.

I know why I gaved up,
Just because,
You had a crush on someone,
And that someone is... not me

Who knows it might one day.

But the most important thing is...
If I decided to fall all over again for you,
I would never bet over hope,
I would never go and blindly trust all the eye contact,
And if I stumble all over it again,
I wish ,
I could stand up,
And repeat,
But with another person..

but.... I still want you
Its day 11 and remember, I didn't lost count for day 10, it just that, everything stays the same without you

I still want you
only you*

But i wont fight for it,
I wont chase you anymore

I saw you today,
I thought I'll freaked out,
But...
No...
I didn't ,
I walked by you,
With confidence ,
I've moved on , yes I have,
But a piece of me,
Still wants you,
I wouldnt lie about that.
Oh and hey,
You look handsome today.

Why the hell people are being so judgemental , being so sarcastic about one appearance?

You do know that I'm a girl,
And if you judge me by my size,my look,
For sure I'm gonna be mad,
Because I'm a normal girl,
I don't have confidence in myself.

I know I'm fat,
I know I'm ugly,
I realize my flaws,
I know myself really well than you.
But you don't need to judge me by my appearance
Because it got nothing to do with your life!

No matter how fat I am, as fat as a hippo or even fatter,
That thing won't change your life!
IT WONT CHANGE YOUR ******* STUPID LIFE!
*******!

FROM NOW ON,
I WONT CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE TELL ME ABOUT HOW I LOOK BECAUSE ITS MY ******* LIFE AND I CAN BE WHO I WANNA BE AS LONG AS IM STILL ME AND ME.

AND TO ALL THE GIRLS OUT THERE,
LISTEN UP,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,
SO BEAUTIFUL,
******* BEAUTIFUL
THAT NO ONE CAN REALIZE IT,
THAT IS WHY IT TAKES THE RIGHT GUY TO NOTICE AND THAT MR RIGHT , WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. BE PATIENCE, GOOD THINGS TAKES TIME.
DONT BE A FOOL BY TRYING TO BE PERFECT IN THOSE ******* EYES,
BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT BUT YOU ARE WORTH EVERYTHING.

It feels the same,
No changes,
I've stop thinking about you.

I don't know whether I've moved on or not,
Because,
I still have a picture of you in my phone.

Today,
I've come up with one hypothesis...

I don't need to get over you, I can still love you like I used too, she was not your girlfriend, she was just your crush, this whole thing was just a crush thing, why should I bother getting over you?

But the fact that,
I don't have the same feeling towards you ... Is saddening.... *

Its day 7 already my darling,
I'm still confused with this whole thing,
And I still wonder,
What are you doing right now,
Are you texting with that girl or have you gave up already? ...

....I hope you have, I hope you give up on her and notice me......

A friend of mine,
Gave me a picture of you,
Technically,
You look so happy,
Your smile,
They are just captivating,
I'm happy that you're happy.

That picture,
Brought me to tears,
I don't know if its the i-am-happy-to-see-you-happy kind of tears,
Or is it just i-want-you-to-be-mine-forever-why-you-dont-notice-me-i-need-somet­hing-to-hold-on-to-and-you're-the-one kind of tears,
Whatever it is,
I cried.

I hope one day,
I can see that smile,
Everyday,every morning,every night,
Whenever I want to.

*....I wish.....