Eleanor Jun 29 - Eleanor Aug 20
Residential Eating Disorder hospital,
No outside love[rs],
Mere minutes in the garden with the tall, tall fence,
Reminding me of a book of fairies, read once,
And not 14 years, could create an easy life for her,
Words, water-like, floated awkwardly, speaking "Oh this disorder? It's not hurting.",
Heaven made you this way- I cannot believe in religion anymore, it sends my mind murderously bare,
Your hair thinning quite badly,
Your blood beats up and down,
Your bones, brittle,
And your smile drowning in a frown,
I'll wait for our reunion,
A kiss upon your mouth,
Tell me that you're certain.
Tell me that you'll still be around.

\

no outside
no easy life
"no trouble, babe"
heaven kept you this way
your bones are brittle
your blood up and down
your hair thinning badly
and your smile falling to a frown
I'll wait for our reunion
a kiss upon your mouth
tell me that you're certain
tell me that you'll be around

say goodbye to her
her smile
her soft and scrunched nose
her pale legs
her wispy thinning hair
her long sharp neck
her tiny petite arms
and the way she lays you in her bed
do my worst she'll say
I love the way the cold sweat drips
the hush of an empty stomach
she loves to be alone where no one can tell her no
to love her is a mistake
she's a mess
a break
loving her-staying up all night
that was my to do
read her words
write her a song
admire her art
admire her
that's what she wanted: control
Control of life
Control of food
And dear God, how she controlled You

*******

I was with you
Your tattoos
Your hands
Your arms
Your veins
Your chest
Your back
Your front
Your hips
Your toes
Your nose
Your smile
Your skills
Your piano
Your basement
Your bedroom
Your dog
Your barging brother
Your dad
Your "friend"
Your preschool
Your house
Your fingers
Your mouth

Your legs and arms around me
You smell of sleep and sweet dreams
Like soft, clean linen mixed with a sweet flower, a scent of unkempt hair swirls around me creating an intoxicating painting of beauty
We learned about pheramones in school, males are attracted to females for their scent, females are attracted to males for their post-pubescent voice. Each *** is attracted to the other. Black and white. Straight.
I think my female body is attracted to your female body because of the sheer beauty you hold
You're like fine art, it doesn't take much for me to fall for you
I feel as though I'm exactly where I need to be, roaming the halls of your museum  with tough brick doors and empty glass cases of obserdities for years.  I could drop wine glasses and trip over the ancient rugs.
You cry too deep

Edison
Vile
You
Musical
I love how your eyes squint and I hate myself for falling in love with people so quick
So quick
Zip
Zap
I'm back
$80.00 anxiety
And a crowd
Don't leave in five months
Don't leave for France
Please
I know you won't return
So quick
Zip
Zap
You won't come back.