maybe if i get bad enough
you'll see why i hurt
maybe you'll notice the bruises
maybe you'll notice the scars
if i destroy my life enough
will you finally understand
i
need
help

echoes of forgiveness screech through the wood with bark knotted flesh and leaves constructed of artificial veins as the ashes of what we were burn down but the forest is still alive the woods are alive why are they still alive why do they get to live when you did this but now the blood is drying and the woods are gone and everything is gone and i'm gone but you're still there because you're perfect and can do no wrong and i'm the ****** up one why why why why why do you get to stay when i leave why do you get to continue and turn the page while lightning strikes the tree i tied myself to but oh no no i don't die no but the lightning strikes again and again and again and again until i wish i was dead again and i wish you were dead again and everything's gone why would you do this how could you do this but now its gone and we're gone and the world has fallen off its axis but at least the woods are dead and the blood is dried and the flesh is petrified and it can't hurt if i can't feel it or see it or touch it or taste it or smell it anymore
right?
but i cried a river for you then you held me underwater drowned me in my own suffering 'til i couldn't breathe but my lungs are getting stronger and the light is getting brighter and the voices are getting louder why are they still so loud how are they getting louder i tried to forget i tried to leave it behind but it followed me to the ends of the earth and i'm looking over the edge into the abyss considering jumping because your voice won't leave and her voice won't leave and i see her everywhere but she's gone into the woods but now we're the ones lost but what happened to "we" because now it's just you you you you standing on her grave proclaiming your hatred for the world but then the dirt falls open and the old you is gone where did you go you were fun and nice and worth it but now you're lost and i made it out why did it take me?
why me?
because once it's locked in the jar lit with our ashes and buried in the dead woods who will remember us who will remember us in 100 years why would anyone remember us when there is no "us" anymore right? right?! because that's what you said but now you're gone and i'm bleeding from the hole you left in my chest when you walked over me on your way out you didn't care you didn't care at all but now i'm bleeding out on a bathroom floor sobbing daily with scarred wrists because of you and we and us and me and the Everything that feels so big it could crush us but there is no "us" anymore now it's just me with the weight of the globe you broke on my shoulder and i know its not your fault but it certainly feels that way and now i'm the bad guy because you tied me to the tree and it lit up in flames so now i'm burning and my ashes you will keep for years until you are forgotten too because who are we without others who are we if no one remembers us who will care but you when i'm gone?
oh right
you don't
sorry

i forgot

IM WORTHLESS

“You sure you want to stay back?”

IM USELESS

“yes”

IM STUPID

“You sure you’re safe?”

IM JUST HOLDING YOU BACK

“yes”

DEAD WEIGHT

(it’s a lie)



The End

skin over bone,
muscle tissue hanging off

i wish i was younger,
when the world was still black and white,
and i

lived