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 Dec 2013 Eleanor
tayler
i see you in the silence
and the blanks of
mind. crazy how violence
says more about love
and its power. the contrast
is fading unlike your
eyebrows, and the last
drop of sanity hits the floor.
thoughts of you as
your actual presence,
because your absence has
finished its evanescence.
I drink to every night that you don't text me
Wasted
That girl up on the bar
Making a fool of herself
Mumbling, slurring

What we once had is no more
So brief, I should have known
Blame myself. All of it.

Silly boy, don't you know.
You are the kind.
The kind of boy that does this.
The kind that breaks girls.
Kills their spirits.
Turns them heartless.

The next girl to blow you off,
The next unforgiving ***** to ruin your day with her condescending, catty comments?

She had a spirit once
She once lived
She was once carefree and full of love

You took her happiness in hand
Grew it, fostered it,
let it fly,
And then destroyed it.

You killed her

You drove her to bottles
Those of alcohol, those of pills
Her addiction that she's now just over
She may be better.
She's still broken.

The insecurities and depression still linger.

Silly boy, you didn't think
You don't realize
The chaos
The headaches
The stupidity
She felt

You're ******* horrible.
 Dec 2013 Eleanor
Francesca
Ahh ****
how high do i have to be to do something productive
do something that doesnt involve
drinking
or *******
and especially looking back on my life
what i call the great Munro disaster of the 90's

i think everything is a great idea until i do it
-talking to anyone
-falling in love with the wrong people
-******* the wrong people
-breathing

i dont know
what my message here is
but it doesnt matter anyway
because its just a string of words
to make people feel something
but i feel very little
and so i need a slap in the face
 Dec 2013 Eleanor
Lappel du vide
love is eminent.

and if you look at this miniscule existence of yours, you will see that it is stuffed in the cracks of old and memory-ridden sidewalks,
which have had to bare the deepest of weights,
of peoples feet which have been into their lovers homes smiling,
and out of them shredding their skin with their nails.
it is carved into the ancient trees, barren of leaves,
and grown from your old sweethearts seeds,
the one with torn jeans, and an addiction to tea,
and who was too much of a spirit to chain down. you had to let him free.
and of the woman, who owned a small, unheard of bookstore,
with books that smelled like cinnamon, about byzantine subjects,
and she let people take one and leave one and tip as they please.

love is there in the unsure drip of the faucet,
disturbing the silence,
in the morning eyed sun,
when the day has just begun,
and you can feel a sticky tightness on your cheek, where the tears used to run,
and the burn in your mouth, is it from your lover
or your two bottles of ***?

it’s in the old pictures from years ago,
where you cant quite recapture the moment, but the vague feeling is still there.
the film is dark and smoky. just exactly like it is supposed to be,
and all of our faces hold this resonant feeling of whole.

and there’s love in the way you jump off something high, ready to fall, and fall, and fall,
and how you focus on the moment of the fall, and not the crash landing.
the moment of all surrender, underwater, floating, meaningless bliss.

there’s love in your daily cup of coffee, or two, or three,
and there’s a special art in the way you mix your sugar, and pour your crème.
theres love in how you smoke your cigarettes,
and how the smoke creates complex, fleeting shapes,
a new one every drag you take,
twirling, and running, and breathing into space, condensing itself,
in a matter of moments it sinks back again,
and makes your couch smell of ash and sin.

theres love in lots of things.
even still
in the way the hopeless strike the clock,
back to work, over the dock,
into their houses,
cut out of dough,
to presume their tasks, and label themselves,
thoughtless in a row.  
and mindless words,
the dinner table sets,
dry dinner time small talk.
they breed for the numbers,
not the pleasure of ***.

love is there in the cold ridden hearts,
of people who don’t believe in passion or art,
its in the escapees of our generation,
in old trucks, singing oldies, crying of separation,
in the numb of the brain-washed,
without their minds, wandering endlessly to and fro,
but they just have to struggle and dig deeper,
and into their own world of drunken, honest, chain-smoking, dancing love
                                                  They will go.
 Dec 2013 Eleanor
Lappel du vide
its morning,
not even purple yet,
like a bruise on the snow, blue and pink and black
reflected from the sky and the tempest within
i lie covered in his voice
singing in the sharp winter dawn air, slicing my cheeks with knife-like metaphors,
his words like honey,
how can something be so sweet and yet so
lethal?
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