I almost don't want to answer your call... But maybe you won't call anymore. . I'm always here and you never are.... Please don't call... I don't have it in me to not answer.... I love you too much. .. I want to be done because my heart is breaking. ..please love her... Just her
I'm lost and sad.... Sadly hanging on... I can only go one way... Yet there are so many choices.... I never knew life could be so hard... And I just don't know anymore... The what ifs... the absolute nots...these blend anymore.... Hope is the silent killer... But without hope what do we have?
I wonder if you think of me in these absent times... When days go by... do I cross your mind? When we don't speak. .. When I miss you everyday. .. Is it the same? I miss the sound of your name on my lips... I wonder if I'm an after thought. .. I can't live this way...wish days and weeks apart... Without a word. ..
Sunlight filters in.... I'm awash in a glow... Writing on sense memory... Writing of things long ago... Memories burned in... hard to make them fade... What once was... isn't anymore. .. Memories are what remain... Be careful who you make memories with... They linger long after the actual events....
I'm not sure why I came... But I love that smile.... That wink that makes me feel like the only girl in the world.... Perception of you and me... I want to know you better.... I see you here and want to be a part of something.... It's crazy... We both know that... but it makes you feel better to say it...
Today I went to see you... You told me to come by... And I got away and drove there... To where you were.. To where you told me you would be... You were busy.. You were working as I watched the concrete pouring. ... I knew you couldn't see me.... I sat and watched for a while... My heart all a flutter ... butterflies rising up.... I finally traipsed across the mud around cars and work debris. ... I wrote you a small letter.... I left it on your windshield. ... Men in hard hats staring. .. I walked to your car like I had every right. ... I don't. .. I have no rights when it comes to you... I watched you work and I drove away .... I was there like you asked... I wanted so much for you to see me.
My guarded heart... tucked safely away... perfectly where I intended it to stay... I promised to never feel you... I promised to never love you.. Yet one day you held my heart in your hands.. I didn't know how... I'm still not sure why? How could this happen? I let you in despite my head... And **** this is gonna hurt like hell... My heart went reeling... No one caught me as I fell.. I wish I'd lose all sense of feeling... Now I'm left here bleeding... with nothing but pieces... and I still want you...
All those words that you feed to me... Such pretty, wrapped up sincereties, They make my heart smile.... All those words are meaningless.... My head knows what my heart refuses to believe.... Such beautiful heartbreaking meaningless lies...
I'm already gone.... You see me and beg me to stay... I've never said I was leaving..... I don't know what you need anymore.... We hang in this abyss.... We keep coming back... After passing days turn into passing years... We're still here... Just like this... And I could never love you less... I've never been held so tight before. .. And none of it matters.. Because I'm already gone... And I no longer know what you need...
I spoke of you today.. My chest got tight and I wanted to cry.. I never speak of you.. There's no one to listen... or to understand Someone asked today... And I spoke of you for real... Of us and how we were... It was strange and tight in my heart. .. To have kept silent so long.. Never speaking and to suddenly open up felt strange. .. That tightness in my chest still remains
I could lay like this for days.... Snuggled up against your chest... Tracing circles around your heart.... Listening to you breathe. ... Curled up right here against you. ... These are the moments I love... Circled up with you. ..
Kissing you takes my breath away, ******* it into you...breathing out as you breathe me in...if I could only kiss you everyday. .. I've never wanted such a simple thing... You invade me and I comply... tasting the essence of you...so safely taken... I don't feel safe at all... Just kisses... how i know they'll break my heart...
It's those grey days where I need you the most... The cloudy skies and bitter cold... Make me think of you.. Are you working? Are you out in it wishing for the sun? I worry of you wet in the rain... These Grey days... Where I wish to curl up with you... You cross my mind more frequently in the rain I remember once when we'd talk... It was pouring on me..and sunny on you When it's grey I wonder if it's grey for you too?
You're the only person that I've never had to fight for.... You've never asked me to prove anything. .. You take me at face value.... I've never had to qualify my love for you. .. You always come back....
If this was love.... I'd wake up kissing your face.... I'd know throughout the day. .. There wouldn't be this space. ... This hole. .. This heart wrench in my soul.... I sit here for weeks and weeks... For what? Waiting for you to love me? Love me like you love her? I need to go.......
How many places have I walked on, that you have created? You are everywhere...yet no where..... below my feet...in my sight... always in my head, always thrown back in there, in my head. I bet you never think of me.....I'll never know
I love hearing you say I love you...it makes my heart ache to be near you...every time you say it my world shatters... everytime I'd say it back to you..please know that I mean it I rarely have ever meant anything more then those words to you...
"He'll never be yours...." "Never truly" she says "in the ways that you need.." and I agree... yet I explain "he's sun in the windowless cell" "the break in the clouds when it has been raining for days" "that warm sunny day in the middle of snow" "he's what I hang on to when there's no place to go" "he's the one human being that I feel in my soul" So in a way... He's already mine.....
I'm sad.... This longing meloncholy.... I breathe in and out everyday... But you're not here... I survive... I'm Missing This Integral Part Of me... I keep going on... Surviving. ... My heart is breaking. .. Time passes and you don't love me like you used to...
You asked me to come... So I did.... You left me standing there alone. .. How long does one wait for their love? I can't be expected to stay here all day. .. Waiting on a hope and a memory. .. How long would you leave me here? I waited and you never came... The sadness overcomes me... Physically, I left.. But internally. .. I'm still standing here...
Life changes are coming.... Yours never does... Loving a lie and continually doing so.... You say you don't want to lose me... I'm Already lost... All the space I'll have now and you won't be around.... What's there to lose? You want to keep me forever? I'll love you always but things will change because you remain the same... One day someone else will put me first as you are incapable of doing.... And I will be lost.... And you will be the same....living a lie and loving her....
I want to hold your hand. . I want to spend hours with you... I want to lay naked in your arms And wake up with you.. I want to make you coffee And have breakfast in bed... I want to spend days Instead of mere moments. .. I want to do all the things you do with her.. I want to kiss you every morning. . I want to call you whenever I want.... I want so much... Yet take so very little But most of all...I want you happy.... I'll take these moments and make them last..
Why are we so hard? You expect so much of me... I try to be whatever you need... And I'm left with this aching inside me... I only want you happy. .. So why do you keep me? I just let you go. .. Now you say you need me? What about me? I patiently wait in agony... Today it's too much... No explanations... Just take it... You won't care if I go...
Loving you away... While knowing I can't have you Hoping always. ... Anyway I can... Despite the knowledge. .. Despite the truth of us... That sad feeling that settles on me in your absence. .. Some days it weights on me a little more