how painful it is to see

how painfully
hard you
have
to try

to "mean" something
to "feel"

it's easy to be
broken
when you know everyone
is going to try to fix you

a false idol
with mindless followers

you let them reach
out to you
just to slap
their hands away

you're no poet
no

but
you're quite the *******

I'm the type of guy

who pees sitting down
when I'm a guest of
somebody's house

because

i may be a
drunkard but
it's not hard
to care about decency

I don't want to ***
all over the seat,
it happens all the time
when I'm this far gone

so I shamelessly
get comfortable
and relief soon
enough sweeps

also:
I automatically leave
the seat down, you see

that makes me
some kind
of a
gentleman, right?

it will frequently
flutter
if you
let it

the doubt, that is

there is no proper
preparation for
the plummet

even though you're terrified of heights
your stomach drops

falls to it's death

suicidal stomach syndrome

splattered about on sun-stained pavement
among chewed gum, spit and countless sin

you don't follow it down, not just yet
there's no reason to

all roads lead to the bottom

putting the bottle down
the only thing you're picking up
is another
or the tab

until your walking turns into a crawl

until everything spins so fast
that motor skills never existed in the first place

and before you know it
you're roadkill with the rest of 'em

scattered about with those pieces of yourself

drying out in unforgiving daylight