i dream of having a piano in front of me so my fingers could dance across the keys instead of my neck

this isn't what I wanted at all
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i feel like one day you just become an adult and you have no idea what to do with a life that you really didn't want
as in the life that you live isn't the one that you wanted
what do you even do with that? because I feel like life really isn't what you make it
life happens no matter how much you try to shape it

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I guess i have no real idea about what I want
most of my life has been spent knowing what i don't want as if that ever made a difference
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there are only a few moments in my life where I can confirm I have actually been alive
but mostly I think about the fact that I just exist, just like a lot of people, just like everyone actually

you wished for so much and you got it

Loneliness is not about the absence of people in our lives. It is actually the people surrounding us and our lack of interest in them that makes us lonely

going straight on airplane mode to just stare at myself in the mirror because I look really quite cute tonight.

I feel like i have something interesting to give tonight, just no one to give it to

always disappointed to see my sluttier posts get attention and drive anything meaningful that I show the world into obscurity

I used to love talking to you at night when you were in your study
even though we were miles away and I wasn't there it felt like our special place
because you spent all night there talking to me
bridging the gap whilst you were away
and you would tell me so many stories
and find old things in the drawer of your desk
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and on the other side of the world I was in my childhood bedroom
whispering so my parents couldn't hear
but let's face it, I was always loud
and somehow never got caught
I guess because it was the summer holiday, they knew I didn't have to think about school just yet