It doesn’t even hurt to break now
I’ve lost all feeling in the places where I’ve shattered and been put back together

and now even if I break more
And shatter into tiny, minuscule, incomprehensible pieces
It just wouldn’t matter at this point
And that’s why it doesn’t hurt

Maybe it’s not a bad thing
To be spared from more pain
But it would be nice to feel something sometimes
Even if it is searing hot pain

To know that I’m alive
To know that I feel

if not now, then when?

Don’t give in
Please

Don’t do this
You can’t do this
Don’t do this to me

You can’t do this to yourself
Be stronger
I believe in you

Everything you feel you need to succumb to, you are not powerless against

I’ll hold your hand
never letting go
I’m here
I’m here
I’m here

I’m dreaming of being a fairy
Ethereal and other worldly
With not a care in the world

What would I do you ask?

I’d run through forests, mystical and teeming with energy
I’d bathe in a little lake under the beaming sun
Then find myself in a meadow where I could lay in the grass ****
Borrowing energy from Mother Earth
Everyday

I knew you would leave
Everyone always leaves

You hated that you didn’t have all of me
But could you blame me?
You wanted all of me because of your impatience, because of your own curiosity

You demand and I’m supposed to supply?

You never loved me
If you loved me then even having a part of me would mean something

I
I love you
In some way
And to even have a scrap of you meant everything to me

I never put you on a pedestal
But that’s love to me

You never loved me
You never loved me
You never loved me

You never love me
You never love me the way I deserve to be loved

in all of this did I lose myself? Or did I gain you?

Whatever it was, it was fleeting
Like it always has been
Like we always are

Thanks for all the good times I guess
But it’s time you learnt your place

You will cease to exist to me
You never gave me what I deserved
But i promise I will give you just that
And I mean that
I feel it
Truly
With no more regret or sadness

I’ll miss you for whatever stupid reason
But I know that if I lost myself again, I’d miss me a whole lot more

Goodbye, A

The night grew quiet and lonely
So I chased my high

*

I forced myself to
I forced myself to

every time i’m happy I think it will last forever








but it never does