like word ***** it all comes bursting out of me

i hit these keys so aggressively
like my hands are running
running
running from something
but i don't know what

There's so much beauty in sadness and grief
and in the colours black, white and grey

but today there isn't
it's sad i guess that sadness has to be misunderstood
and that these colours are seen as so negative

they are so beautiful
and comforting
and striking
and real

but life taints everything pure
it forgives no one

maybe i am life

BUT I DON'T WANT THE HELP
I NEED TO DO THIS MYSELF
I HAVE IT IN ME TO LOVE MYSELF

NO ONE CAN HELP ME
I'M ALONE AND I LOVE IT
I'M ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE AND THAT'S HOW IT SHOULD BE

SOMEHOW I'LL REWIRE MYSELF AND TURN THE LIGHTS IN ME BACK ON
SOMEHOW I'LL FIND MY COLOUR AGAIN
SOMEHOW I'LL KEEP TRYING

JUST GIVE ME TIME
GIVE ME TIME
TO LOVE MYSELF AGAIN

help me
help me to find my colours again
i need help

I don't want to be grey
in fact i don't have to be grey
i can be LOUD
and leave a burst of colour behind me wherever I go

and now i'm grey
so so grey
i barely exist
sometimes you can't even see me
i float around
like a whisper

I exist in my mind
and sometimes in yours when it's late
when the silence gets too much

Simplicity is tainted by our foolish and selfish desire to change what is pure