you only think what i want you to think
when i want you to think

Hospitals scare me
aside from having watched somebody pass away
they scare me

embedded in my chest is the weight of seeing extreme happiness to complete isolation
why should both events co-exist with each other
which one does my heart warm up to more?
a small child who has a better chance at life
or
an abandoned soul who is believed to have overstayed his welcome in this ******* planet

does this bring us on to the topic of privilege
or ignorance

human nature: to lie
what is lying
a trap? a weapon? a prize? justification? a game?
just words that we overreact to?

to lie is to serve justice

plagued endlessly by empty memories of you
laps
you run in my head
up
down
up
down

up
there
when it was all good

down
there
when it was all...i..whatever

i mean when we reach the midpoint
who said we had to cancel each other out
after all that we had
we have nothing
after all of it
you were more
more than anyone... anything.... any person... everything

can you believe
we are down to communicating without interaction
our words just drift past each other
our words are mere bystanders in each others lives
just there in the background
still significant
but not enough
to be the main characters of the story anymore
just piecing together
passively

I caught your eye
now
I'm trying to catch your eye

nearly 3am
i'm inside
but i was just outside
for so long
i'm excited
shaking
jumping internally
apprehensive
immersed in clarity
breathing so loud
its sounds like a silent scream
my eyes are wide
open
searching
i see my own eyes
stare into them baby
they're shutting
act fast

my tongue
my tongue
melt on my tongue
melting
on my tongue
dissolving on my tongue
disappearing on my tongue
you disappear on my tongue
i disappear when i feel your tongue on m...
i feel you
in my bloodstream
i feel you
in my gasp
when you hit me
when you enter me
when you take control
i feel you around me
why are you around me
like a thin mist
you're not here
****
who is around me