got the first wasp inside tonight
from the firewood
moths fluttering death in brown velvet at moonlit windows
later greet the dawn with condensation

her fairness is
a saving grace
and I don't mean
her fair of face
she isn't cruel
unfair judgemental
intelligent
not sentimental
and for her loves
she's always there
won't let them down
when needing care

He was an old man
before he was born
something about him
jaded and worn
now he is aging
and living a curse
re learning lifes lessons
stuck in reverse

old lover holds my heart
with casual hands
sometimes tossed
often fumbled
a hacky sack
kicked into a corner

she had three lovers one an X
long left behind
(she thought)

he

still pursues her

in unwanted ways
with ****** gifts
and vigilance

the second
most recently

discarded

barely acknowledges
her

altho she graced his bed
for over a year
and he cares no more
if he ever did

the last?
and most valued

makes plans for christmas
to be with her
he cares
so much

then makes plans
to be with

others
instead

forgets her birthday
(despite asking some few days before)

"when is it is again?
so i can send you flowers
or a card"
(niether arrived)

three lovers
are
NOT
better than
one

and more

is often

less

time  
when your 5 it has no meaning
by 7 it means mealtimesbedtimesplaytimes   school

16 it seems to stretch again
but not like that of aged 5
just endless waits to be 18  
there is too much you haven't seen

18 not nearly old enough so much to get so much to do
you think that time always waits  for you    
                                                                                                                                
then 28 starts to feel a litle late you've realize the mistake
time doesn't go on it has a break

35 are you alive?  
life swallowed up in others lives...

ah 55!
time to "revive" go on and on till all days ends
and 'time" has gone around the bend
without
you

the middle of the night
shallow restless sleep
a
singularly
wild
idea
occurs

but sleep spawned revelations
from the subconcious
wither
and die
of ridicule at dawn

plaster has fallen away
from fronts of buildings
laid bare
the brickwork underneath
like skeleton without flesh
jawbone & bared teeth
where cheek has been ripped away
death visits
and takes tea

setting
sun
on
wet
pavement

sheets
of
molten
gold

vapour rises
curls
around my feet

we can talk about africa
a childhood spent
we can lay things bare
pretend not to care (too much)
we can reminise
leave out main events
give the o'er a kiss
yet get behind pretence
and of course there's Twinnings tea

love is not sunlight
on gossamer down
or dewdrops on grass
in which our souls drown
not sunlight filtering
through lacy leaves
no matter how much
such fancies please
so why do we clothe it
in white lace and roses
it's merely a corpse
that looks fine in poses

See how the wind loves me
it caresses my face with gentle fingers
lifting and playing with my hair
whispering sweet poetry in my ears

The earth too loves me
calling me to come down
and embrace in final ecstasy
but not today
I turn and walk away

look at it
this poem
nothing
of it
no agitation
or dissipation
nothing of
passion
what is this poem
nothing of
anything?

The lake was blue and silver
alive with dragonflies
the air cool and still
stars unmoving
we had carried the heat of the fields
with us all day
brushing against each other
like sun against grass
clothes we had discarded
a tangle on the ground
still held something of that warmth

I want
to be like
a sheet of glass
with everything
rolling off me
like rain

on the horizon
moon silvered clouds
float across the surface of the sea
like wind blown veils
at home
the silence orchestral

never believe the promises made
by an addict in the cold 
                                  light
                                  of
                                  dawn

for when midnight
                                falls
and the sirens song sounds

those
promises
cannot
be
heard

Giving birth
is like being eviserated
the umbilical cord
pulls your insides out
they trail forever after
the children you've born

Yehudi menuin
playing loud in the background
your leaving home
my darling
20 and 12
all at once
he had you
I've had him
we roll on

in that room
you felt like
the whole world

and as for teaching others
you can only tell them truths
as they occur

Your the biggest
fraud I've ever met
though I don't doubt
your not done yet
all those years
you lied to me
taking advantage
I couldn't see
the lies you told
the games you played
if you'd come clean
would I have stayed
duplicitys extent
now clear
mocking everything
held dear
you go on now
with more fake lives
behind your smile
conceal the knives
why do I cry
I should be glad
now all is clear
I just feel bad

God it's raining end of summer!

dreary days
    
the garden not worth longing gaze

dull
grey
wet

maybe i should get a pet?

autumn
leaves

and winter comes

should i get out the wellingtons

Her face alight
with laughter
and memories shared
She is young
once more
my mother

Long ago
i was an ocean
walks on the beach
return me

god we're a pair of ****** up kids
ugly yet so beautiful
why are we here
old while so young
we will live forever

The world is
a stranger place
than you or I
can imagine
we must each
cultivate
our own garden

this is my garden at it's best
when golden elm
her leaves
divest

interesting...
you tell me you'll stop writing to her
although we both know
you will still read her blog
every day
waiting....
it won't change anything
it will only hide your interest from me
and whats the point in that
shes still there
and so are you
i no longer pretend

im kind of hoping
all this excruciating
humiliating
soul laid bare stuff
is leading us to a more honest place
otherwise....

visions
not auspicious
just ordinary
everyday
life
death
lessons
learnt
in retro
seeing
doesn't make
believing

moon
beams
drip
splashing
silver
splotches

Most of the time
I feel my old spirit
still rattling around
deep inside
but as a ghost
haunting my ruin

It's raining I said
better take an umbrella
she gives me
that look
the one only available
to teenagers
it says "your a ****** idiot"
more effectively
than any spoken word
she'd rather be dead
than be seen
carrying an umbrella
and soaked to the skin
she might well be

disarray
has more in it
than perfection

I glance at you
lying on the grass
dozing in the sun
arms clasped behind your head
so familiar
yet
containing a universe
a history
perceptions I will never know

i see what you do
it is so clear

holding close
what you hold dear

you pay your way
perform your tricks

protect yourself from
the cold hard nix                                          http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/nix

We invent
quests
for ourselves
to give our existance
meaning
the only result
is
to make ourselves
as fallacious
as the invention

sand flecked skin
your body you give
heat rises we too
birds sing
waves foam cool around our feet
inhale
exhale
sun stings

capricious i am
that's just how it is
don't let it offend
don't get in a tizz
i do not reply
to many a ***
there is no offence
it's just that i'm
odd
you've all been so kind
i have to agree
please don't be upset
with me just being me

a cold wind blows
and golden elm
is shedding her summer dress
gold medallions lie in pots
the ground beneath her
soon a mess

your silences
hold more truth
than anything
you say

a funeral pyre
my autumn garden
spends the winter
cloaked in ash

a vain and
troubled
man
in search of
disguise
he wears his
eccentricity
like a cloak

Love is not a plan
you fall into it
with arms legs mind heart
guts
free falling
like alice
down the rabbit hole

one
star

sliver of moon

black
tree tops
against
cerulean skies

umber
glow

swirl of
mist

glitter of
frost

my
toes

see him strut
see him preen
the nicest
he has ever been
but look to close
and you will see
underneath
the real he

I called her Amber
because she's a jewel
she glows with warmth
like a fire fueled
an ancient soul
trapped in her eyes
just like in amber
are fireflies

or a cut version

I call her Amber
cos she's a jewel
aglow with warmth
like fire fueled
ancient soul
within her eyes
just as in amber
trapped fireflies

Emotions move
across their faces
like ripples
on the surface
of a lake

from the tiniest of creatures  
to the furthest of stars
all things exist within each other
dissolution
and all things
return to their essence
what has come
returns
from whence it came
to chaos and the void
what was in between
is as never existed