This stoney patch
of impenetrable gound
our relationship

Emotions move
across their faces
like ripples
on the surface
of a lake

He whispers
a grain of sand
into my shell like ear
it nestles
and grows
a perfect pearl
of paranoia

i sit
as silent
as an embarrassing thought
tucked away in the corner
of my own mind

a funeral pyre
my autumn garden
spends the winter
cloaked in ash

she has a knowingness
****
sad
old soul
only 19
morned before birth
a corpse before born
a star
she burns
out

Jack frost
commits
beautiful ******
burning corpses
to black

this sting
this pain
without it
i would
drift off

you think
i haven't
already seen
our history

only in
a place
of absence
can i
be here

sand flecked skin
your body you give
heat rises we too
birds sing
waves foam cool around our feet
inhale
exhale
sun stings

not dead yet
you haunt me
still
thoughts of you
against my will

dew drop
mirrors all
encapsulating
in miniture
everything
reflected

fear sweeps in
a tidal bore
no escape
that rising tide
drowning daily
much too far out
all my life

Auburn coated cattle
seek safe purchase
on a limestone scree
bent windscarred conifers
climb the hill

I've talked this relationship
into the ground
but still
I cannot bury it

It's raining I said
better take an umbrella
she gives me
that look
the one only available
to teenagers
it says "your a ****** idiot"
more effectively
than any spoken word
she'd rather be dead
than be seen
carrying an umbrella
and soaked to the skin
she might well be

Prayers are something
we do on our own time
the answers come
in infinities time

don't confuse
feeling good
with love

in that room
you felt like
the whole world

a rich panoply
of umber and gold
contrasting against
the conifers green
a glorious sight
to behold
one of the loveliest
ever seen

It's surface
a perfect plane
reflecting the glow
of autumnal trees
on the shore
above
a cloudless sky
a sudden breeze
frigid as the waters
mars perfection

she had wonderful roses
in many a hue
colours glorious
one even blue
but in her vases
stand only a few
for on her rose buds
the possums chew

Swallowing
lumps
of desperation
they settle
in my stomach
like bad bacteria

Lead paned windows
beam shafts of coloured light
dust motes floating
spiral upwards
released from
captive carpets
flee

in winter
the earth becomes
hard & mean
won't allow my summer flowers
even stops
the grass green growing
making months
out of hours

i didn't turn out
as you expected
characteristics
you detected
let down your dreams
of how "we'd" be
as is the same
for me
what will we do

clothed by the sun
i walk in joy
moontides
ebb

i look at myself
and see
someone else
which one
is me

your eyes have gone
now without sight
i walk alone
in this
the night

full moon
on the beach
altar to prayers
i sacrifice
vain hopes
and climb
stars
stairs

you are the most intelligent man ive ever met
and yet
go against your own best advice
does the second statement
render the first
null

did love sculpt me
into twisted form
she the storm
blasting away bark
to reveal form
or
expectations extreme
beyond the norm
causing the storm?

why is it
men cannot   see
that what   appears
to be    vanity      (in a woman)
is often
fear
because female looks
are so important
to the male
my dear
;o)

love
what a ******* disaster
you fall hard and inevitabley
get broken
by the love object
who doesn't love
or
they fall for you too
only when it fades    for them
they seem to accept it
with indifferance
not too much later
turning their eyes to ever younger prettier fresh flesh
happy to tell you what an old interest you've become
and "what else did you expect everyone does it"
well I don't
won't
can't
accept that
why?
it's not as if I am out of touch
with reality
no teenager me
love in spite of that
too intensely
how I wish I could
not love
as much
in love is as lonely   as
out of it
when your in it
alone

"For I have spent eternity bringing you a gift"
Neither the oceans
nor the stars
can equal this
I cannot give you my heart
my soul you already have
seeking a looking glass
i look at myself
remembering

mid winter evening
comes upon the sky
stars glitter  
earth and sky are one
everything bound
and unbound
in eternity
a gift
seek  
look to yourself
and the stars

If the beginning
started out of
chaos and the void
did they not exist
before the beginning

land of no responsibility
except to give in to that burning urge
that prickles up the back of your neck on waking
to be off out running under sun
barefoot as soon as out of sight
adventures wait and time belongs to you
you fish for sticklebacks in a field of golden corn
where farmers wave in anger at the trail to the pond
and take home tadpoles in glass jars on string
breathless at the sight of legs emerging
pick bluebells in the wood for mother
but then arrange them in old tins
in tumbledown cottage the gangs den
scrumping crab apples in overgrown gardens  
never getting that stomach ache all Adults warned of
roaming hedgerows looking for hedgehogs
hoping for signs of any living thing
all long fled at the collective noise you make
catching butterflies to look at their wings
putting crysillis in greaseproof papered jars
to watch them emerge for flight on glistening wings
when you return them to the wild
lifting up old drain pipes to look for slugs to race
not forgetting to put them back at races end so they dont shrivel
basking in hot sun after watching trails of catapillars
whose prickles mother later tweezers out
amidst a small flood of tears because they flame red
having a bath with bubbles then tucking up in bed
drowzy but anticipating  tomorrow is waiting

Shiva
with long poled chainsaw
demon like
he wields
havoc
reducing my Kali
to a goddess with no hands

what could i do but run

that one poem

oh jesus!
i've stumbled on his poems
and fallen in love

Jesus!   that was scarey i forgot what time it was
almost opened the curtains   and
I'd just closed them

his poems
an ocean
to dive into
and
become
to leave them
i feel
beached

the brain
is
such a mysterious creature
involuntary
extrodinary
anything but
ordinary
why is it
such a separate thing
from "me"

the arborist is coming
he will cut limbs
from my golden elm
no longer will they almost climb
into my roof
birds will still nestle in her branches
declaring their territories
at dawn and dusk
but she will be without hands
for awhile

because we're without
boundaries
we live life on the edge
because we have no
boundaries
we balance on a ledge
looking up
looking down
looking all around
because we're without
bounderies
we do not bets hedge

from the tiniest of creatures  
to the furthest of stars
all things exist within each other
dissolution
and all things
return to their essence
what has come
returns
from whence it came
to chaos and the void
what was in between
is as never existed

if i cup your face
in my hands
and gaze at you
intently
will the thousand
truths
you keep
hidden
be openly displayed

beautiful red in the sky this morning
reminds me of that shepherds warning
there was no red in the sky last night
so maybe the weather warnings right
there might be rain during today
oh wind please come drive it away
although the garden needs its boon
I'd rather clear skies so sun shine soon