Once apon a time
i thought i loved you
now im not so sure
was it love that kept me faithful
or desire
to be
safe...

I feel I am a faithless lover
for I have strayed
not to another
but further than either imagined I would
from you

we dice
and hold the upper hand
with fortunes won hard but
life is a dog and we are curs
with fates befit a mutt

skin
a sheen of sweat
cries ring out
sheets
all tangled agony
***** foetid air
contract
cryout
subside
a birthing
no pink and downy babe is this
a mucus clot
a jellied mass
a river of blood and tears
a termination
of what wasn't quite
a tractor passes feeding out
calves for the slaughter
the sun shines
birds sing
all oblivious of anything
a death and life goes on

i know i havent written for so long
and also that this explanation isn't neccessary
i know instinctively you understand completely without one
that i can just come back and it will be as if i never left
rude friend i can be because
we are we
i've missed you

why give voice
to nonsense words like
normal
average
love
and truth
none
of which
are any use

spear
lodge
lumps of metal
aching