I turn my music louder so I don't have to hear myself cry
I turn my back to reality and choose to sit on the naive part of the bench
Won't let the blue slide distract me....
My problems seem much more vibrant than the thick plastic makeup of this childhood playground
My own childhood recedes as love envelopes me
Your voice lingers in my head, whispering "I love you"
but it shouts when I hear you say "I can't"
I write my feelings down on paper so as not to spoil the sweet, innocent air that surrounds me
My pain is poured out of my pen and onto this paper,
Out of my eyes and onto this wooden bench
thats been marked with love and promises of forever
Promises that will never float off of your lips and kiss my ears
I love you
I turn my music louder so I don't have to hear myself cry

I want you so badly
to hold you in my arms and to be held in yours
but how can you and I be,
when I am just a shadow underneath a shaded tree?
A better view they cannot see
see me crying
trying to impress the less knowledgable
skimming through your details
bypassing the fine print
in which i have made my mind a home
yet i'm hidden
blended with the clouds that passersby admire and watch
while you fill their heads with your beautiful words
Ears were meant for hearing but mine filter your sounds
into love
life's filters are meant to cleanse the vile and harmful thoughts
that are trapped in my mind
polluting us
for I am your secret
a hidden shadow too outspoken to be heard
too quiet to be listened to
I want so badly to be discovered
remove that stain which blocks your view of me
that area not polished
for its landscape is too rough to house
my most tender and buried emotions
strumming your heart strings with calloused fingers
your heart strings even more so
Perhaps that's why the sounds are so sweet
to us and no one more
open up to me
it is time to walk through that crooked door
together
I, me, and your shadow

That heavy sigh that makes you think
"without my anchor, I might sink"
but when it's rusting to the core
nothing the same as it was before

Perhaps it's better to float for a bit on my own
explore the shadows of my being, and do it alone.
for my heart and my thoughts have always been shared,
i'm scared that for loneliness, i'm not prepared

but if life's a journey, i'm packing my bags
shred the insecurities, leave those for the past
leave my anchor where he's fastened,
forever there he'll lay
and though the destination is unclear
i'll let the ocean take me where it may

BOLD
Effervescent
Attainable
Unique
Timeless
You

I sometimes wonder about things and how they fit. Like how my heart hurts in your absence but skips a beat when I see your name on a screen and the lilt in your voice when you tell me that you only make fun of me because you love me. Like how written words are strung together by thoughts that haven’t had a chance to become audible and how before serious things are said voices become shaky. Or how your hands would feel pressed up against mine and how my lips would feel against the crevice of your neck. I wonder how the sun would look hitting your face while we drive to pick up our million friends for lunch, and how I’d smack your hand away from changing the radio station when one direction comes on. How my blankets would feel warmer with your legs and arms wrapped around me or how my eyes would look you up and down when you walk into the room before we leave for that thing “we can’t miss.” How you’re the only girl I’d actually move across the world for just so I could pick you up from work and take you to get ice-cream. How you’d look in a fancy dress with your long hair curled and how I’d slide a section of your hair behind your ear and kiss your forehead, and then your lips. Or how I’d sit you in my lap while I played video games and make out with you just so I had an excuse to afk. I wonder how my perfume would mix with yours and how hard my lipstick would be to get out of the collar of your shirt and how I would whisper how beautiful you are before I pulled you close to me just to rest my head on your shoulder. I sometimes wonder how you and I come together and how we never fall apart and I wonder how I would be if you unravelled and how quickly I could break the record at putting you back together again. I wish I could say I loved you for always defending me, for always believing in me, for never making me feel stupid for things that I like or love, but that’s only part of it. I think I love you because you’re soft, and kind, and honest and everything I’ve always wanted to be. I love you for missing me quickly, for completing me, for never being out of reach. I love you for the things you don’t like about yourself, and for the reasons that you think I’d turn away. I love you because you’re everything and because nothing feels right when you’re gone.