five more minutes,
five more hours,
five more days,
five more seconds,
with you (it's all i ask).

cradled against you.
how much closer
can we get?
the space between
seems so vast.

and yet you feel
like warm sand
molded to my body,
just so.

your fingers
layered with mine,
and your moist breath
falling over my neck...
light filters in and feathers float by.

grass crunches softly in rhythm to your compassionate jaws
to be slow and spotted is to be the subject of some onlooker's pause...
no words to exchange
  just desires to imitate
    through sounds and the absence of thought.
friends weave their wishes into the moist poetry glistening out of your big brown eyes
while the mellow motion of your mouth traces saturn's rings around the sky
i, entranced and graciously assured
  the world and all its needs
    are a body to drink from, like this lake at your knees.
it isn't random how we found each other with only a fence between us
what's a fence if we've grown tall enough to step over or strong enough to walk through?
to everyone around me it seems
there's somewhere else to be,
this scene bearing you and your family lays itself out like acrylic cows and trees
a moving picture to impregnate
the awakened veins of my future.
switching bodies, i poke & sniff at shade and water
while these dry stones beneath our feet
in part gravel arriving here from mountains we've yet to reach,
find me realizing
i was never just passing through.
  moo was meant for me
    i was meant for moo

i know where to find ghosts
just take my hand, and we can go where bubbles
never burst

where the sun hits particles of dust

where cars in rain
and streetlamps have those bursts of light that
extend farther than the bulb

dandelion fields, clubs where singles know how
to make hearts with cigarette smoke

where holes are carved in dirt that has never
been caressed, where
bruises go

when they are no longer on your skin

because i know about
searching for what is left of the dead with fingers
cupped like a shovel, knowing
you were the last thing they ever touched

well,
they're not just in the ground
ghosts are somewhere in the air i promise.

For twenty-two years I claimed atheism.
Until, I spent six years consumed by addiction.
Homeless on dope I found desperation.
I kicked the sickness, but not my addiction.

I found a place conceived for rehabilitation.
But, their main goal was to impose their religion.
I bought into the beliefs of a christian.
Do not judge and all are forgiven.

Then I found a place called church.
That would teach me different then the lessons I learned.
If all are not judged and all are forgiven.
Then why is it that only Christians go to heaven.

I questioned the preacher about gods decision.
Because, my family and best friends were not into religion.
If heaven is a place where my loved ones cannot dwell.
Then **** religion, I'm going to hell.

No need to be bitter
You were never mine to keep
I got to borrow you for awhile
While my soul was hurt and weak
You were sent to me
at a time I needed lifting up
A time when that one person
could not fill up my loving cup
It was as though my heart
had been placed on hold for a bit
Yet I was expected to go on without it
Just go on without any worries
after all... its only a heart