Calf augmentation => silicon implantation
Endoscopy, otoplasty, baby
Mentoplasty, rhinoplasty, scalpel
Juvederm at 4, Starbucks pit-stop right after,
pop some xany's and go

Chemical peel, dermabrasion
Dr. Unknown PhD. meet patient Montag XR3.
Brain stimulation, kneecap replacement
Doc, I'm starting to miss the table, is this a complication I should expect?

Fat grafting, bone grafting, mystic tanning
(what really is natural nowadays?)
Chin reconstruction, laser resurfacing,
(what really is me anyways?)

Consultation with your post-op pain,
It's gonna be "Ouchy" for a month,
but worth it in the end.
Self-esteem scan shows a cancerous tumor and growth
Yuck
And here I thought plastic was
"cancer-free"?

rather than think:
i miss you

i say,
i'd rather not

Tick.    Thud.    Tick.    Thud.
Can the audience hear that?
                                                  The sound of my heart beating syncronously with the metronome
I hope not. Because all I hear is the simultaneous thud/tick of nerves.
                                                                ­                                                              Don­t show your nerves

Can the audience see that?
                                               The sweat that's accumulated on your palms
I hope not. Because all I feel is a cold slimy instrument in you hands. Slipping like butter.

Can the audience feel that?
                                               That frantic look you're giving everyone
I hope not. Because angst and apprehension don't go over well with spectators.

                                                               ­                                                                 ­              Just don't show your nerves.
                                            Relax.
      ­                                                 And take some deep breaths.

Inhale, tick, thud, exhale, tick, thud, inhale, tick, thud, exhale tick, thud
Inhale, tick, exhale, tick, inhale, tick, exhale
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale
Inhale, *play