When I steadily hold my pen
I spoil the advantage of paper
while my coffee mug rule my air
sitting beside this notebook
I run simplicity like scriptures
highlighting the moments stirred
because it's sometimes hard
to take in stride the echoes
the sounds that evacuate
all positive energies
that lived deep within them
I can't even remember a time
someone else shared the feeling
of deep affliction and the miss
along side me and live
broken by words and not by hand
I can't even remember a time
where I stood still frozen
in edgy fashion or in kerosene
burning in razor cut fumes
that always bind in any control
pushing my pen forward... I am caught in suspension
realizing that I am still
venturing on without light
cradling in my chest to hold
the convention of agony
the carnival of deluded sadness
hiding behind my fake smiles ... I applaud myself
I keep dreaming heavily
of a brighter poetry
that my pen may reward
and that in between the brackets
it may find some kind of solitude
escape the prison of aggression
dry out the red ink and spill in
the blue like heaven camouflaged
where I can't tell my wrong from blanks
I never intended to spoil my paper
I never wrote in pity of self nor to flaunt
I only wanted you to breathe with me
the beauty that is still inside
and watch the roses grow.. and bloom.
© 2016 Salamasina T.