Another day
another penny earned

Another mistake
another lesson learned

Another attraction
another head turned

Another spark
     saw
another fire burned

I want to throw my phone at the bottom of an ocean
Corrupting salt for corrupting tears that stale my words
And choke my heart [without ever having appeared]

I would that it met the depths and reached the bottom
Cos I am still trying to get to the bottom of this
When pulled at the roots, the root reappears
Harder to pull as we further in years [please wise us to the sun]

I am in love with an idea, today with your ear
All mine to whisper in, to bite and tell you two tales of love
To contain my passion to show the love within my heart
If not poured out will drown itself amass

And inconsistency will be my epitaph.

This is my fear.

//Claustrophobic.thoughts.
compound.this.crucible.
to.the.edge.of­.combustion.
...she...will...explode.//

a misery
is sort of like
a scar

you trace
it every so often
to see
if it is still
there

and when
it reassures you
that you have not
moved on

you are relieved
for that one
moment
you can
stay there

'friendly fire'*
s t i l l   h u r t s

nothing, nothing to say
nothing, nothing to prove
nothing, nothing to lose
                 ...  except for you

...
  in the quiet of the
              evening
when my fingers feel
     the frost
my bed invites
      these tired eyes
   to tea
           with
   scones and dream
                             ...

my fluorescent lamp
quivers, trembles - uncertain
of her timid light

..What can I do about it?
You could be a better person
What’s that supposed to mean?
You know exactly what I mean
Please spell it out for me
C H A R A C T E R
Okay, okay but how?
It starts when no one’s looking.
But - I can do it when everyone’s looking
*That is called a mask, my dear..

Carry me forwards,
Carry me backwards
Carry me over
Carry me somewhere
Anywhere
Just don’t leave me where I am
I can’t carry on
Here.
Alone.
Again.

I have never hugged you
Properly
Because to be properly
Safe
I didn't think I could let you go
And I don’t want to
Attach myself
So prematurely
To fleeting
Feelings
And lose myself
In the translation
From now
To ever

the only reason i sent you away
... just now
is that i haven't come to terms with
... *my own mistakes.

My mind is like
A small child
Who cannot
Sit still

Yes- I feel like tearing my

Distracted brain

To pieces

And peaces

Will scatter

Like prisms of light

When it shines straight through
      
              *My Incapacity
                              to move

i welcomed you in
    just to show you
the back door
              - please escape
            before i ask you
                    to
                        leave

My dear,
We spent a whole day travelling
And didn't reach our destination.
Saw many faces, trod many places
I followed your phases -
The moon.

I chased all the carrots
Shied from all the sticks
Everything that prodded me forward
Pulled me back to reality
That you are you
And I am me
And the word
‘IMPORTANT’
     **Will
                  Vary
          In
                    Interpretation.

like so many frogs
we croak our choruses
     of regret...

   in           and           out
          and        in       and        out
and          in       and          out   
           of                breath

still
our paper bags
these pent up lungs
are filled again with memories
that never quite escape
two cages
(x - ray prisons)
holding captive still
                    these hearts -

like so many yawns
what sweet relief
to now expel
such weary air:

            *This, My Conscience:

I feel like a little bird
Fallen from the nest
Dishevelled, feathers dusty
Feebly crying :
    will you care for me?

I feel like a little commotion
Begging from you sympathy
And your slightest attention
Pitiably trying :
    will you quiet me?

I don’t even want you
to lift me off the floor
Just simply
    *hold me close, please

Just say –
                 “I am here.”

If you ever kissed me
I would ask you to open your eyes
I would like you to see me clearly
To know the face you'd compromise

Without a second thought
Your lips would brand me yours
And, smoldering & burning
My nerve endings would blaze and burn

Your eyes would be warm fire
and melt Emotion's gold
sweetly dipped in my desire
sweetly icing, bracing cold

And gold is softly melted
I would melt into your arms
and in a timeless statuette
we would be ONE -
[Don't you know?]

It's hard to separate
           Siamese Hearts

- and one may be left bleeding

Please select an answer:

Am I...

a) a complete contradiction

b) temporarily satisfied all because of
     cheap amusement

c) beautifully disillusioned

d) all of the above

DO you Ever
                      write
        HATE-MAIL with
             return to sender
                     and then
                Wonder
          *'WHO is sending me
                  All this Crap!?'

You: are my greatest anticipation [you smile]

You: seem to make the sun shine brighter

                                    ..YOU.

You: are the frequent flyer through my thoughts

You: attend my words with care, and i feel heard by
  
                                    ..YOU.

You: will never know how i see this

You: may feel but not know how i feel but

                                    ..YOU.

You - are my greatest contradiction

                        *When I play deaf to Wisdom's ear

I beat myself up for hurting
Decide not to procrastinate
And decide to implement that
Wonderful decision later

Later
when my pen is dry
And my eyes
Fall out of my head
To watch my self-inflicted
Demise.