It's pretty hard at twenty-seven
to dust yourself off and try again.
The game never sets you up to win
and all the players have the wrong intentions.

We can sit here and play pretend
while there's nothing yet to defend
or we can leave this diner and dive in;
hopeful blue eyes, so genuine.

Don't fear unspoken words when
they're supported by action
but then reality always settles in
before we get to the end-
before we get to begin-
I feel trapped in my own skin
as I travel back to where I have always been:
to darkness that makes any sign of light look genuine.

7.23.18

No shining lights like I've been told,
but I felt so warm in a room so cold;
time was still, my heart was sold
to the beautiful, traveling skeptic.

Your eyes wrote stories of my thoughts,
the dreams, the nightmares, that I both bought;
stolen faith, you easily caught,
as if you were meant to own it.

I may paint the future in naive,
too promising for anyone to believe;
for a complete moment, you and me,
we drowned in a puddle of magic.

7.17.18

Brick walls, back to back,
build them higher, that's how we react
to the darkness on the outside.
We make it harder for others to climb.

Cement that's survived our past
has made our fortresses fit to last
while we hide away on the inside.
We make it difficult for hope to find.

Through the gaps I hear your curiosity
as I read you a chapter from my story.
You read to me a line or two
and suddenly I believe in you....

7.15.18

I keep my raincoat in the backseat, even during the sunshine
because I never know when the sky may change his mind.
I anticipate the muddy days at the most inconvenient times,
but preparation can still make you feel like you were blind.

I run back inside at the first cloud that creeps across the sky,
and if the rain wasn't so loud right now then I'd tell you why.
I've experienced my fair share of hurricanes and even though I've survived,
the winds ripped off the walls around my life.

The sound of your thunder struck me with wonder
and this thickness of mist that I'm now under....

You've got those blue eyes, Darlin, you're my rainstorm,
and you've got the smile that makes a cold heart feel warm.
I left a melted mess by your front door,
but you needed to be warned,
and I needed you to see me through this rainstorm.

7.4.18

& for a moment, in your eyes, I feel flawless,
as if you see my heart & not where I've been,
as if you've read my soul's secret letters,
her many attempts to make amends.

& for a second, in your voice, I hear hope,
as if the monsters have left me alone,
as if they've approved of my late redemption,
& have finally let me come back home.

darker days- we have all been apart of,
& His light always finds a way to break through,
sunshine after rain, relief after pain,
& you.

7.3.18

An unplanned and unexpected kiss
reminded me how much I miss
simplicity with a hint of risk.

Arms that felt overly well known
brought me to a temporary home
where my thoughts won't have to be alone.

Your smile and well versed eyes
made up for all of the many tries
that left me broken in disguise.

These days can stay or disappear,
warrant faith or sink with fear,
and yet, I'm still right here.

6.23.18

never planted; rarely picked.
wherever the wind sends us,
we grow.

6.21.18