You're sitting next to a mess in the front seat of your truck,
and Honey, I must confess, I'm not the best when it comes to luck.
I've got a long list of attempts to make romance into common sense-
to the point where I've almost given up-
and what's left is the mess in the front seat of your truck.

You're staying up late with a straight shooter at conversation,
and Darlin', the date won't indicate the rest of our situation.
I'm a dreamer by trade but you don't know how many times I've prayed-
out of fear and frustration-
and this creates all of the late night intimate conversation.

You're reading the lines of the one who shines through hurricanes,
and Babe, all the signs don't define another chance of rain.
Every uncontrolled endeavor to put something solid together-
I've learned not to complain-
because it designed the kind who shines through hurricanes.

You're sitting next to a mess who feels fearless in the front seat of your truck....

6.3.18

I woke up in a sickened gaze,
worn out from an emotional maze,
built by the woman that I used to be.
I've ran these circles time again,
back before I knew just when
it was safe, not to wait, but jump free.

The mind- it likes to encase
its victims in a crowded place,
where giving in is way too easy.
But we belong in the openness,
unconfined from all of our created stress.
Let's end this war; call this our treaty.

I'm sorry.

5.31.18

Let's be honest; you're my first sip since my rehabilitation.
I'm not at my strongest, but I'll try to keep a hold of the situation.
I'm not attempting to race forward but I surely cannot go back
to a town that leaves you cornered when the world's under attack.

Let's be fair; I’m hopeful at the thought of emotional redemption,
but I’m unprepared and too preoccupied with keeping your attention.
You feel so different but all I know is that fear looks all the same
when you’re chosen first but then left out because you’ve never really played the game.

Let's be real; you're beautiful and an unexpected surprise
who cut a deal with the Fragile without the clever use of lies.
But I’ll second guess it all because that’s my only reliable defense:
connecting dots, tracing lines, until the truth mirrors uncommon sense.

Let’s be true; we’ve all had a dance or two with catastrophe,
but I haven’t a clue what to do with these walls that live around me.
I’m not a sparkling first impression but I value openness,
and if you can see the worst of me then you can understand what's left.

I was never looking for a hero.

5.26.17

Lost in the desert; who knew that I would find
a place to take shelter, the most beautiful waste of time
to put me back together, to free me from an inescapable past.

Now I know better; I've learned the hard way
that perfect weather can disappear within a day,
and added pressure can make anything secure crack.

But these little lessons never seem to compare
to the sudden emptiness that comes out of no where,
to the shifts in solid ground, to the shadows that are left behind.

These distant memories never intend to replace
the deep conversations and laughs that we had face to face,
our interlaced fingers, your leg pressed next to mine,

and time.

3.23.17

Normally- I'd call you a bad name
and step outside of myself so you'd understand my pain
and know how it felt to not be the chosen one.
Historically- I don't know how to deal;
I get emotional so you'll know how I feel,
then I lose control and let go of what's already gone.

But I don't wish bad things on you.
I pray she finds the light in your dark eyes like I do,
and that she looks to you like her better half.
I hope she keeps your heart safe,
and she realizes there's no one else like you in this place,
and her feet fall in step at the sound of your laugh.

You deserve happiness, I confessed this day one
when we were two sets of brokenness on the run
from a fear of getting too near; potential tragedy.
Then time left our side; it didn't align,
but if you ever turn back and hope to find
a faith time couldn't replace, please remember me.

12.31.16

I've got an open heart and a ***** mind,
a broken past so it'll take some time
to get used to that simple line
that everything is gonna be just fine.
You've got a healing smile and a shining dream,
a closed demeanor, but I believe
that the best kind of free
is when you dance with vulnerability-
around, in the light, of your eyes....

I've got racing thoughts and you speak in tongues;
we dodge the truth like we're still young.
You never know where I'm coming from,
and I can't tell if you'll stay or if you'll run.
Then those moments when you look at me,
and I feel my world start to freeze;
if I could control anything
I'd disappear to reality
with you, and the light, in your eyes....

Cause we've all got a piece of the disaster that visits us at night,
prepares us to fight- for something beautiful.
And even if I could run faster, I'd still hang on tight,
just incase I might- find something beautiful-
like you, and the light, in your eyes....

12.07.16

(this.is.not.a.song.just.a.poem.with.a.chorus.)

Face the truth, Girl; accept reality.
Yeah, you were nothing, but only to a nobody.
You took every blow and kept your head held high,
but this chapter’s over; don’t focus on the why.

Just find a fresh page; grab a new pen.
Rewrite the sky of the town that you’re in.
Cue the music; you’re the new heroine.
Cause this is not permanent.
No- it’s not permanent.

Escape your prison, Girl, but use your own key.
Yeah, you were trapped but only temporarily.
You built your own walls; now take your precious time,
to watch your tears fall and all of your priorities realign.

Then grab a new canvas; find a fresh brush.
Repaint the smile of the woman that you used to love.
Choose new lyrics; you’re your own heroine.
Cause this is not permanent.
No- it’s not permanent.

Clear eyes always see the world differently.
Broken hearts never piece together perfectly.
My advice, no disguise, no secret:
the pain’s not permanent.

Go on and find a fresh page; grab a new pen.
Rewrite the sky of the town that you’re in.
Then grab a new canvas; find a fresh brush.
Repaint the smile of the woman that you used to love.
Choose new lyrics; you’re your own heroine.
Cause this is not permanent.
No- it’s not permanent.

11.22.16