And it stings in the shower
Just the water running over
Let alone to wash it with soap
So you leave it alone
You tried to go around it before
But that only made it worse
And you can't wash above
Because it runs down into the cuts
So they notice the smudge
That was there yesterday
And didn't quite rub off

They wonder why
You don't take as long as you used to
And they notice that your body wash
Is still three quarters full
Even though you bought it six months ago
They wonder why then
If your soap is still full
And you don't shave in the shower
Why do you need more razors
When you just bought a pack
Not even a month ago

They noticed in summer
But now its winter so its okay
For you to wear long sleeve shirts everyday
You hid your t-shirts so you could tell them
That you had nothing else to wear
They noticed that you never went swimming
You sat on the beach or in the car
They begged you to come in
And said you lost your swimsuit again
Even though you knew exactly where it was
You just couldn't let them see your scars

They notice the smile on your face
But not the pain behind your eyes
And they don't care to see the fear
That they might find you out
Its easier for them to believe the lie
Than to face the truth
And help you
They would rather the easy way out
To live in ignorant bliss
Than to notice your scars and cuts
And ask you what was wrong

And eventually they stopped noticing
The no longer asked you
How your day went
They met your cries for help
With harsh words of get over it
And calling you an attention seeker
But that really is all you want
Is for someone to pay attention
To start noticing again
That you are not okay
And you can't just get over it

Too often do these things go unnoticed
Or they are mocked
As a cry for attention
And ignored as a call for help
Too soon do people end their lives
Because its easier for you
To live in ignorance
And not deal with it
They say ignorance is bliss
But it only is for you
Not for the people suffering everyday

So it is up to you and me
To break through the ignorance
And see the fear and pain in their eyes
Because if we don't say anything
Then they won't either
I know this because I've been there
And I still put on that mask
Because I was told to just get over it
But that only made it worse
The fact that I should be able to get over it
But I couldn't

So it is up to us
To see behind that mask
And ask someone if they are okay
To see the cuts and scars
And lend out a helping hand
Because if we don't then who will
We need to speak up for those too afraid
Of speaking for themselves
To make a point that it is not okay
Just to say get over it
And we need to start noticing

I'm not sure what it is
But there is this thing
This overwhelming thing
That draws me to you
After all these years of knowing you
I still can't figure it out
It pulls me too you
Like rope around my heart
Dragging me closer and closer
I've tried to resist it
But have always failed
It yanks me closer than before
There is nothing I can do
I've given up on fighting it
And have accepted the fact
That there is just something about you

On silent streets
I walk while you sleep
Looking for something to eat

Quietly I stand
Sign in hand
Hoping for something grand

Here is where I sleep
The trouble I'm in is deep
Should anyone find me

Some say I'm hopeless
That may be true
But for now I'm only homeless

I was going to write a poem about you
And and about how I know
That you need to go
But I don't want you to leave
But I only got two lines in
I couldn't write anymore
I couldn't think about the future without you
I didn't want it to be so soon
There's only a few months left
At least that I know that I'll get to see you
You made a promise
To stay for my birthday
But what then?
Will you leave the next day?
I can't imagine going through it all over again
Not knowing if I'll ever see you again
Not being able to feel safe in your arms
I don't know if I ever told you that before
That in your arms, I just feel safe
I want to spend every second with you before you go
But that would probably just make it harder when you leave
I don't want to imagine that day
When we say our goodbyes
Maybe to never see each other again
I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like you
No one will ever be able to replace you
I'll probably write letters that will never get sent
And reread old ones from you to me
I'll probably cry myself to sleep for awhile
Probably won't eat and won't speak
I'll get over it eventually
But then something will remind me of you
And I'll break down
I'll recover and go on again
But I'll be empty for a while
Without you to talk to
I don't know what I'll do
I'll probably send you a message
And wait for your reply
Just to remember that you aren't there
That you are somewhere off traveling
Living life and seeing the world
And I'm still here
I don't want you leave
But I know you have to go
I guess I ended up writing that poem after all

The bitter truth of reality has come
Bites to your bones, stings your eyes
Crushes down upon your soul
And then when you
Realize how alone
You truly
Are
Everything
Fades away
And nothing matters
You can only wait
Until your time has come
And all the sand has drained
To the bottom of your life's hourglass

Oh what fragile things friendships are
One comes and another goes
One door opens and another comes to a close

There are few that last forever
Some slowly fade away over time
Others crash down before your eyes

Some are ruined by ignorant actions
Others are held together by lies
And when they fall apart its no surprise

I often wonder what it would be like
If people saw through the lies to the real me
And saw that I am only pretending to be happy

I suppose that's why I only have one friend really
I tell him everything though I really don't have to
He sees through the lies and pulls out the truth

But oh what fragile things friendships are
One comes and another goes
One door opens and another comes to a close

You keep me awake
With the sweet sound of your voice
And the little noises you make
When you trace the lines on my skin
Where ever you touch seems to fizz

You keep me awake
With the smell of your musk
And the taste of your lips
When you pull me in close
Where you know I'm ticklish

You keep me awake
With everything you do
And all the things I wish you would
When I know that could
Where you are and I'm not

Stuck in this grave
That I dug for myself
I scratch and claw
I can't get out

Death stands above
I bargain and plea
He only laughs
I got myself here

I fumble and reach
Trying to get a hold
I'm almost at the top
Death knocks me down

No, he says
As he pulls back his scythe
You dug this grave
And this is where you must stay

What a gullible twit I was
To ever believe for a second
That those world from your mouth
Ever held any meaning at all

What an idiotic imbecile I was
To think you had chosen me
That no longer were you hers
Ever did you see me

What a moronic simpleton I was
To think all you wanted was me
That nothing else mattered
Ever was I yours

What a blockheaded buffoon I was
To give myself wholly to you
That I gave you my all
Ever waiting for you to give back

What a dimwitted sucker I was
To show you my deepest secrets
That no one else ever saw
Ever was I trusting you

What a foolish dolt I was
To grasp onto the past
That I should have let go of
Ever do I make this mistake

What a beautiful liar you were
To ensnare me with your wiles
That I could never resist
Ever were you scheming