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May 2015 · 504
10:45
Dustyn Smith May 2015
It's 10:45 and there's a heavy sleep in my eyes
My eyelids shut and the world turns black
A million thoughts race through my mind
From fantasies to memories everything is there
Then everything slows and eventually stops
The skin on my body falls from my bones
And my bones turn to dust
If only for a moment I cease to exist
I think and feel nothing
I am nothing
A noise shatters me back into existence
My eyes are wide open and my mind is flooded
The world is just dark outlines of shapes
I search for the red glow of my clock
It still reads 10:45
Jan 2015 · 1.1k
There Are No Words
Dustyn Smith Jan 2015
To say I love you
That is simply to regular
Maybe that I adore you
But still not quite
If then I say I worship you
You are not a god to me
I could tell of my affection for you
Though the word lack strength
There are many things I could say
Of my yearning, infatuation, lust
The passion and flame I have for you
But there are not words to convey
My emotion carries more resonance
Than any sentence may say
Dustyn Smith Oct 2014
If you give an artist a pencil
She'll write you a million words
Telling you in deep clarity
What it means to her
How you look to her
And what you mean

If you give an artist a pencil
She'll cover pages and pages
With drawing of you
Sketches of beautiful things
That remind her of you
And what you mean

If you give an artist a pencil
She'll love you forever
And always will remember
Even if you think you weren't
How thoughtful you were
And what you mean
Sep 2014 · 511
Disjointed Thoughts
Dustyn Smith Sep 2014
I wonder if you think about me
The way that I think about you
If you still have those horrible nights
I know that I sometimes do
If theres anyone to hold you tight
And make you feel better inside
Like I wish I could have done
If there's anyone in which you confide
I think that I've found someone
And wish that you have too
There's still times I wish that we
Could talk like we used to
About pain, acting, and agony
Deep into night, until dawn
Now I'm back to hiding it
Hoping one day it'll be gone
Still there is no profit
Now I lay here awake
Thinking about you and the sea
Hoping for both our sake
You aren't thinking about me
Sep 2014 · 444
I Let You In
Dustyn Smith Sep 2014
I let you in
You became a part of me
I let you see me bleed
Your hands held my heart
At first it was gentle and caressed
Now it's shattered in a broken mess
I gave you a chance
I trusted you unconditionally
You killed me with finality
All because I let you in
Jun 2014 · 495
Blades
Dustyn Smith Jun 2014
It stings and burns
Watching the ruby blood stream
Run down in twists and turns
You can't place what it means

Though you know its nothing good
Struggling to find a reason why
You know you should
Instead you just cry

Its not the first time nor the last
Remembering everything all together
Try and say it's all in the past
Hopefully you'll get better

What hope is left for you now
As you put the razor back on the shelf
And wonder just exactly how
You could keep doing this to yourself
May 2014 · 459
Endings
Dustyn Smith May 2014
Maybe in the end
All the blood I've shed
And tears I've bled
The words I've written
Will finally mean something
May 2014 · 402
Gone
Dustyn Smith May 2014
There's blood in my mouth
And cracks on my lips
Bleeding and chapped
Where you used to kiss

There's smoke in my lungs
A cigarette in my hand
A burn on this couch
Where you used to sit
A work in progress
Feb 2014 · 464
Remember Me
Dustyn Smith Feb 2014
Don't hate me for what I've done
Please don't remember me this way
Think of me as I once was
When there was hope for brighter day
During times when we would smile
And they would not fade
I hope it was worth your while
I'm sorry that I cannot stay
Believe me I have tried my best
But please don't remember me this way
And don't forget me like all the rest

Remember me for the good times we had
The laughs we shared along the way
Think more of the good times than the bad
In your heart I'll forever stay
Smile for me and shed no more tears
It was time for me to go away
There is nothing more for you to fear
I'll be watching over you always
Believe me as I tell you the truth
I am in a much better place
And I will always remember you
Jan 2014 · 416
Waiting for a Call
Dustyn Smith Jan 2014
I'll call you at a quarter to eight
Last time you said by nine
Now I've stayed up far to late
Maybe I should take this as a sign
Jan 2014 · 610
The Five Senses
Dustyn Smith Jan 2014
I smell of smoke on your breath
And taste blood on your lips
Feeling the roughness of your hands
Seeing the pain in your eyes
I hear the coarseness of your breathing

I pop a breath mint
And wipe my mouth
Smooth on some lotion
Faking a smile
*In and out; I count my breaths
Dec 2013 · 1.3k
Then and Now
Dustyn Smith Dec 2013
You used to give me butterflies
  Now you give me anxiety

I used to smile just thinking about you
  Now it fills me with anger

You used to make me cry with joy
  Now they're just tears of sadness

You used to be my reason to stay strong
  Now you're the reason I relapse

I used to imagine a bright future
  Now all seems dark

You used to be the calming voice inside my head
  Now its the one that screams that loudest

You used to always make me feel better
  Now you're why I hurt so bad

You mended my heart and made me feel whole
  Now you've broken it and left me in pieces

I used to write love poems about you
  *Now the only ones I could write are of pain
Dec 2013 · 513
Flames
Dustyn Smith Dec 2013
I held my skin
Over the flame
At first I flinched
I pulled back and away
Now I delight in the heat
And welcome the pain
Dec 2013 · 414
I Still Want to be Friends
Dustyn Smith Dec 2013
Cliches are bad enough
As it is
Used far too often
In bad situations
But I think by far
The worst of all
Is after someone rips
Your heart out
And leaves you to die
They smile sweetly
And say
I still want to be friends
Nov 2013 · 975
Fools and Liars
Dustyn Smith Nov 2013
And one again
The beautiful liar
Has deceived the fool

But this time
It was I
Who was the fool

And you are
By no means
Beautiful
Nov 2013 · 2.0k
Noticing
Dustyn Smith Nov 2013
And it stings in the shower
Just the water running over
Let alone to wash it with soap
So you leave it alone
You tried to go around it before
But that only made it worse
And you can't wash above
Because it runs down into the cuts
So they notice the smudge
That was there yesterday
And didn't quite rub off

They wonder why
You don't take as long as you used to
And they notice that your body wash
Is still three quarters full
Even though you bought it six months ago
They wonder why then
If your soap is still full
And you don't shave in the shower
Why do you need more razors
When you just bought a pack
Not even a month ago

They noticed in summer
But now its winter so its okay
For you to wear long sleeve shirts everyday
You hid your t-shirts so you could tell them
That you had nothing else to wear
They noticed that you never went swimming
You sat on the beach or in the car
They begged you to come in
And said you lost your swimsuit again
Even though you knew exactly where it was
You just couldn't let them see your scars

They notice the smile on your face
But not the pain behind your eyes
And they don't care to see the fear
That they might find you out
Its easier for them to believe the lie
Than to face the truth
And help you
They would rather the easy way out
To live in ignorant bliss
Than to notice your scars and cuts
And ask you what was wrong

And eventually they stopped noticing
The no longer asked you
How your day went
They met your cries for help
With harsh words of get over it
And calling you an attention seeker
But that really is all you want
Is for someone to pay attention
To start noticing again
That you are not okay
And you can't just get over it

Too often do these things go unnoticed
Or they are mocked
As a cry for attention
And ignored as a call for help
Too soon do people end their lives
Because its easier for you
To live in ignorance
And not deal with it
They say ignorance is bliss
But it only is for you
Not for the people suffering everyday

So it is up to you and me
To break through the ignorance
And see the fear and pain in their eyes
Because if we don't say anything
Then they won't either
I know this because I've been there
And I still put on that mask
Because I was told to just get over it
But that only made it worse
The fact that I should be able to get over it
But I couldn't

So it is up to us
To see behind that mask
And ask someone if they are okay
To see the cuts and scars
And lend out a helping hand
Because if we don't then who will
We need to speak up for those too afraid
Of speaking for themselves
To make a point that it is not okay
Just to say get over it
And we need to start noticing
Nov 2013 · 371
Love
Dustyn Smith Nov 2013
Once upon a time
When I was of a simpler mind
I believed in this thing
That seemed altogether amazing
Now I have come to see
It's something not meant for me
It must only exist in heaven above
And this thing is love
Dustyn Smith Nov 2013
What a gullible twit I was
To ever believe for a second
That those world from your mouth
Ever held any meaning at all

What an idiotic imbecile I was
To think you had chosen me
That no longer were you hers
Ever did you see me

What a moronic simpleton I was
To think all you wanted was me
That nothing else mattered
Ever was I yours

What a blockheaded buffoon I was
To give myself wholly to you
That I gave you my all
Ever waiting for you to give back

What a dimwitted sucker I was
To show you my deepest secrets
That no one else ever saw
Ever was I trusting you

What a foolish dolt I was
To grasp onto the past
That I should have let go of
Ever do I make this mistake

What a beautiful liar you were
To ensnare me with your wiles
That I could never resist
Ever were you scheming
Nov 2013 · 531
The Art Museum
Dustyn Smith Nov 2013
She walks with silent steps
So as not to disturb
The artists that are sleeping
Within their works
Nov 2013 · 3.2k
Pain to Numbness
Dustyn Smith Nov 2013
When the crying sobs
Wracked with pain
Finally cease
They open the gateway
To entrapping numbness
And honestly I can't say
If I would rather have
The horrendous pain
Or the ghostly numbness
Oct 2013 · 387
Hellacious (10w)
Dustyn Smith Oct 2013
Oh well
Oh well

Just drag
Me down
To hell
Oct 2013 · 313
Dead (10w)
Dustyn Smith Oct 2013
I really did try

But in the end

I died
Oct 2013 · 778
Awake
Dustyn Smith Oct 2013
You keep me awake
With the sweet sound of your voice
And the little noises you make
When you trace the lines on my skin
Where ever you touch seems to fizz

You keep me awake
With the smell of your musk
And the taste of your lips
When you pull me in close
Where you know I'm ticklish

You keep me awake
With everything you do
And all the things I wish you would
When I know that could
Where you are and I'm not
Oct 2013 · 542
Sweet Dreams
Dustyn Smith Oct 2013
My eyes are tired
But I just can't sleep
Because I know
That my dreams
Will be filled with
Pictures of you and me
And echoes of you voice
Saying dream sweet
Oct 2013 · 588
Not a Love Poem
Dustyn Smith Oct 2013
I watched your favorite movie
     It all became clear
And read your favorite book
     Everything made sense
Your favorite song was on the radio
     I should have realized it sooner
I heard someone that sounded like you
     But now I can see it all
And I thought I saw you in the distance
     I know the truth
I rushed toward to find my mistake
      That all this time and still
But I still punched him anyways
      *You're really just a ****
Sep 2013 · 373
Distractions
Dustyn Smith Sep 2013
I ran out of things to do
To keep my mind off of you
It wandered back to a time
When I was yours and you were mine
And its breaking my heart all over again
To think of what could have been
Sep 2013 · 469
Empty Seats
Dustyn Smith Sep 2013
I saved you a spot
A seat right next to me
I waited and waited
But you never came
Over and over again
The same old thing
Now after all this time
And I'm over you
You wonder why
When you asked if we could meet
I made you save me a seat
And you waited and waited
Just as I did for all those years
I never showed up
And now you know
Just a little bit
Of what I felt
Sep 2013 · 484
Bye Bye
Dustyn Smith Sep 2013
You've fallen for me
But soon I'll be gone
I'll have broken your heart
And you'll just be
Another half-assed poem
(I didn't even try that hard)
Sep 2013 · 384
"Friends "
Dustyn Smith Sep 2013
There once was a girl
Who travelled the world
And never stayed in one place long
But always seemed to drag a boy along
A different boy for each place
And all had the same fate
They'd go on for a while
And she'd leave with a smile
But it always ended in heart break
She knew she needed change
History had repeated itself again
But this time she said would be different
I would like to say this story has a different end
But alas, they too, will remain just as "friends "
Aug 2013 · 549
Trying to Drown it Out
Dustyn Smith Aug 2013
Louder and louder the music pounds
Trying to drown it all out
That she doesn't care at all
I tried and she blew it off
The voices saying do it do it
Drag that blade across your skin
The pain that makes me yearn for numbness
The voice in the back of my head that still calls me your Highness

Over and over again I push the plus
The volume is already all the way up
I can still hear the demons shouting through
Telling me all things that I wish weren't true
I'm a hopeless disaster in the making
In a glass world and everything's breaking
Trying to place blame and then I see
It was really all because of me
Aug 2013 · 343
Bad Again
Dustyn Smith Aug 2013
I try and talk to my friends
But I can't bring myself to tell them
That I'm getting bad again
Aug 2013 · 757
Please Excuse Me
Dustyn Smith Aug 2013
Please excuse the hole in the wall
With exposed drywall and 2x4s
And my bleeding bruised hand
The ****** bandages in the trash
I was angry and couldn't hold it in

Please excuse the blood on the floor
As it drips from my fingertips
From the lines I carved
Deep into my writsts
I just wanted to feel again

Please excuse the difference of appearance
I cut off my hair and colored it again
Threw out all my clothes
Tried out a new look
I didn't want to be me anymore

Please excuse the absense of me
I don't laugh at your jokes
The smiles not in my eyes
Barely able to say a word
I lost myself to the pain

Please excuse me
I can't take it anymore
Aug 2013 · 478
Crying in my Room
Dustyn Smith Aug 2013
Footsteps stop
Two dark spots
Beneath the door

Concerned pause
Listening close
But a second long

A whatever shrug
Move along
Walk away

No time to stop
Not important enough
For a simple knock
Aug 2013 · 793
Unsent Letters
Dustyn Smith Aug 2013
I find myself in this position yet again
Writing a letter I'll never send
It'll sit on my desk then in my drawer
And eventually end up in the trash

I scrawl it out in informal pencil
Because my tears would bleed the pen
And would make barely readable chicken scratch
Become smeared, smudged and completely illegible

I pour out my heart and soul to you
And then I lose my nerve
I want you to know all these things
But I wish you could without being told

So I find myself in this position again
Sealing an envelope and writing an address
Wanting you to know and losing my nerve
And writing a letter that I will never send
Jul 2013 · 581
Failing Imagination
Dustyn Smith Jul 2013
I try and imagine you here with me
Within you embrace like I used to
So close I could feel you breathe
But my imagination isn't so strong
To create something that isn't here
And its not because you aren't
You never were really
But I can't decided if its because
The thing that is missing
Is your heart or if its mine
Perhaps its both
Or maybe its neither
And that's just what I tell myself
That our hearts aren't in it anymore
Just to make it easier
Jul 2013 · 334
Conversations About Nothing
Dustyn Smith Jul 2013
We would talk for hours
But looking back
I can't remember what was said
Because we were just talking
About nothing in particular
Nothing of importance
But those conversations
Were always my favorite
Jul 2013 · 1.0k
Hourglass
Dustyn Smith Jul 2013
The bitter truth of reality has come
Bites to your bones, stings your eyes
Crushes down upon your soul
And then when you
Realize how alone
You truly
Are
Everything
Fades away
And nothing matters
You can only wait
Until your time has come
And all the sand has drained
To the bottom of your life's hourglass
Jul 2013 · 448
Talking to Myself
Dustyn Smith Jul 2013
Because darling
Its what I do
I push and shove
And drive them away
Then when they're gone
I simply wait
Its not long before
They come crawling back
Begging forgiveness
Like it was their fault
But you and me
We know the truth
Jul 2013 · 1.0k
Black Coffee
Dustyn Smith Jul 2013
Whatever and ***** em
You're better off anyways
That's what they told me
But instead I'm here
Drowning my sorrows
In sad songs
And black coffee
Jun 2013 · 1.7k
You Know, Those Hippie Shoes
Dustyn Smith Jun 2013
That crazy colored tribal pattern
That almost matches your purse
With the edges that are fraying
And the rubber that's separating

From the streets of downtown Oly
To the sandy shores of the beach
Down the Cherry Creek Trail
And Easton Town Center Mall

Soles worn down and coming out
White rubber now turned brown
Seams pulling out, fabric ripped
Stretched and worn to a perfect fit

CO to WA, OH to ON
All around and back again
Mountains, plains, oceans, and streets
They're always on my feet
A poem about my favorite pair of shoes that my mum often refers to as "you know, those hippie shoes"
Jun 2013 · 494
Silence
Dustyn Smith Jun 2013
I hate this you know
This silence
That seems unending
But I guess it doesn't matter
I don't have much to say anyways
Jun 2013 · 3.5k
Goodnight
Dustyn Smith Jun 2013
I've been up for too many hours

Correction, for too many days

But how can I sleep at all

When you haven't said goodnight
Jun 2013 · 474
I'm Such an Awful Person
Dustyn Smith Jun 2013
I steal a heart
And then I break it
I fall in love
But then I fake it

I tell off my friends
And beg to be forgiven
I try and be better
But then do it all again

I ask you for your secrets
And then tell you mine
I know all about you
But all you know is lies

I say that I need your aid
And then proceed to cower
I let you think you're king
But really I have the power

I tell you that I love you
And I know that you'll stay
I toy with you heart
But you never go away

I know the words to make you leave
And I hold them over your head
I know the words you want to hear
But I think I'll torture you instead

I'm such an awful person
And of this I'm sure
I could tell you over again
But you'll still think I'm angelic and pure
This was going to be almost like an apology to someone but then it turned into this.
May 2013 · 570
Cycle of Lies
Dustyn Smith May 2013
Fingers slide over a touch screen
Pushing nonexistent keys
Words then strung into sentences
Should be so full of meaning
The 'I love you's and 'sweet heart's
     lies
Deft fingers dance on a keyboard
Typing forever a message not sent
Backspace and delete, find better words
Think of something comforting and kind
Make sure to put 'I love you' at the end
               lies
Ringing and buzzing, he's calling again
Let out a sigh, put on a loving voice
Click on answer, talk for an hour
Harder to feign emotion on the phone
Say 'I love you too', hang up
                         lies
See him in the distance, put on your smile
Tap on the shoulder, hug from behind
Hope your mask doesn't falter
Hand in hand, a kiss on the lips
'I'm so glad I met you' reply 'me too'
                                   lies

**Repeat
May 2013 · 6.5k
My Hamster
Dustyn Smith May 2013
My mum's asleep
Her boyfriend left
The dog ran away
My hamster's dead

Now mum's awake
Her boyfriends back
The dog came home
But my hamster

He's still dead
May 2013 · 704
Hand of Time
Dustyn Smith May 2013
I did my make up and I did my hair
I even found something pretty to wear
I put on heels for the first time in weeks
I look at the clock and it reads three

I waited patiently by the door
Soon it was quarter past four
You said you'd be hear at half past three
I wonder if you had somewhere else to be

The clock hands keep moving, now it reads five
Maybe, I thought, you forgot how to drive
And all this way, you had to walk
Still I waited and there was no ring or knock

The clock relentlessly still ticks
And now it reads ten after six
My phone buzzes on the arm of the chair
"Hello, are you there?"

Stuck sitting a hospital waiting room
Terrified and anxious, awaiting the news
Its only a matter of time
The clock hands tick over to nine

Tonight was supposed to be a fairy tale
Instead it rated a ten on the horror scale
The clock read 11:03 when they told me the news
There was too much damage and they couldn't save you
My 100th poem added to this site.
May 2013 · 482
Fire and Water
Dustyn Smith May 2013
One is drowning
The other burning
Both need saving
And both are yearning

Waves are crashing
Flames are raging
Suddenly there's nothing
The scene is changing

The water's dowsing
The fire's steaming
Both are reaching
Their future is gleaming
May 2013 · 523
Morning Coffee
Dustyn Smith May 2013
Steam rises from my cup filled to the brim
My finger lazily traces the rim
I take a sip
And burn my lips
Wishing you were here
To kiss them better my dear
May 2013 · 359
Those Words
Dustyn Smith May 2013
I said those words
I love you
You said them back
I love you too

Those words were said
Twice before
But now they are
Only for you forevermore
Any critiques on this are welcome.
May 2013 · 380
Out of Love
Dustyn Smith May 2013
I carve your name
Into my skin
And let your love
Flow from my veins
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