Gray mountain concrete
       elephant underpass
groans on six foot wide
legs
      
       bones of steel
       re-bar bend and break

As it all begins to crumble
in the cold November sun

Leviathan highways
   strangle the hills
      with cold grip- They
            spill steel and smoke
       blood on the city streets

Delivering poison
     to your door

Robot brain control center
Oversees the operation
from tall towers
        geometric shapes
          
        Obelisks & Skyscrapers

Father Culture thinks with
                                   his ****

Light flanks the snowbanks
my memory thanks the simple soundscapes
of textures closing in
as walls and ceilings
and snow and sleet

We can blame the weather
but we'll be here forever
cursing ourselves
mid-stride

Stopping motion
mid-explosion

a simple thank you from the
particles we've denied

All things moving outward

The molten core of earth
Our mother

Chaos empty space
Our father


     Standing, surrendering.
        The weather tethers at my veins.
     Pushing.   Pulling.
             My emotions run high with the hopes of a new sunrise.

     Guide me,
          show me,
                 lead me to the holy water you sip like its never ending.
     Show me the truth behind every iris that passes my curious glance.
          Breathe in this cold sterile air while we dream of something tangible...

     Strange winds come on strong in the heart of the mislead, the outskirts.
                We thrive on the untouched surfaces of the mind..
           We breathe in the discomfort...


This is the nothing substance
I'm looking for

Seeking ever leaking truth
of faucet water too heavy

Minerals come to life
and return to the ground
in the instant of
midair waterfall

Weightless feeling fateless
determining the future
on solid ground grasses
fishing baitless

naked sameness

emotion

motion

ion

on


     Seeking direction in the wake of misdirected affection.
                                                     Faulting to the backbone of habits.

     Falling faster, I pause in the balance catching my breathe.
                                         I inhale everything surrounding my mind.
                         Exhaling all my simple poisons.
     A detox of wandering souls and singular holes.
     Eating.    Feeding.    Breeding.
             Filling all this space for all those after me.

     Fill me.
        Fulfill me.
     Accept the darkest crevasses of this mind.
                                                  I still turn a silent shy cheek...


Sea oh double
em oh en

Common ground
from the firmament I send

Confusion permanent
in an ocean

Oh see an end

Painless drifting aimless
seeking searching
for the seam
into which this world
is born

The lifeseeking thread that never ends

The bloodborne
pathogen

Of caring void
and emptiness

Caress you like a stone

Forever there

In the loveliness
of human hair

Saying, I was there

When emotion became
the firm ground
never sinking

Thinking of the way out
but never escaping

Mountains around
an ever growing feeling


     Drifting aimlessly into the empty serenity you present so pleasantly.
              Once again I slide further from comfort and balance...
                     Feeding off any sense of insecurity.
                            Craving that whole duality of my circumstance...

           I keep treading the muddy waters I choose.
     My body gets trapped in the
                                     sticky egos and messing misunderstandings,
                                                                                         in which everyone laughs away.

     I'll schlep the dirt from my soul and shine light once more.
            Exhausted and tried.

                                      Ill shine...


Your light
is not lost to
my dilated eyes


     It's lost in my own lost hope of withering dreams and lost star seeds.
            It falls away in every cold shake I make within whiskey's withdrawal.
                 It fades away in the simple staggers I make and unfulfilled chances I take.

     But, not all is lost.

     I still keep this little light of mine.
     I still let this light shine.

     I'm just a little more aware of the spaces it awakens and the souls it helps take in.
  
          It's ever shifting in this cosmic wake, it hides, it shies, it cries.
                    Like me, it knows when to pipe the **** down and listen to the world.
        Listen to everything it allows.

     It hears souls like you.
                                 It feeds me.


Feedback,
I've got my need back

Shaking like a lovesick
fiend

On every letter of your speech

I'll filter this wormhole
off kilter
into every relationship
in front of my eyes

Until we meet again,

I won't stop telling stories
of jackals speaking english

To fetch our sweet meat
from top shelves
and ruins

Blue and bruised
flesh alludes
to stories unspoken

and broken glass
dreams of unity

Bottle falls

Slow motion

It all seems
like a dream
in endless blue
love tokens

Took a short walk
       after nightfall
while the pavement was still
warm to the touch

The moon was calling my name
and so I walked until
I could see her face
             Radiant among
                          the stars

      She wore a dress the
color of muted sunshine
      in place of her usual
                              silver
and
       when
                  I
                     saw her there
                     smiling down
                     on             me
                     so  full  of the
                     joys            of
                     eternal youth
                     and   twilight
                             journeys,

      I sailed up to the stars
      and became  the  sun
      waiting ,   with     my
      eyes         on          her

The people below watch us
dance
and catch rides on shooting
        stars to be closer to our
              disco ball reception
              
              The stars in the night sky,
                                  our honeymoon

I held hands with Pandora

as I opened up the box



We destroyed everything we loved

but it could have been worse..

                   I could have died alone

Do not listen
     to my words
                 or
     riotous prophecies
     of a world on fire
                             
                             I­ am
      the son of Cassandra,
                a shining bird
           not to be believed

If I am to tell you that I
see the monsters of our
     suppressed dreams
    come to bathe us
            in flame

Heed not a word
            of it

For the gods have
   declared me a liar
and I am not allowed
          to tell the truth

Only to give short
    flights of fancy
              with which
    you may entertain
               yourself

If I am to tell you that I
     see the worlds cities
in peace - Prepare for
                  the worst

      For I am the son
           of Cassandra,
          a shining bird
       not to be believed

while millions are without power on the east coast
and ocean waters rise high with the rage of nature,
nobody named Sandy bothers me here-
safe and serene in the Midwest, my home

no waters have risen to challenge me,
and no ghouls have come knocking
at my door, though it be Hallows Eve

no fairies have come to take me away
no children or beggars have showed up
to accept my offerings and
free a soul from purgatory

I have lit no fires,
I have butchered no cattle
And I certainly have not
tried to raise departed spirits

the only vestige of Samhain so far
is the thought, a simple remembrance
of the way things used to be
in the pagan myths
with their reverence for the dead

o, the dead have been here, yes
-imitations of them at least
littered on my TV screen
like bloodied tin cans in the street

this is how I revere the dead,
by watching remakes of old
slasher movies, directed by zombies

in them I find masks and screaming
-lots of blood and nonsense
and not one mention
of the way things used to be

Begins foot tall grip-

mountain brain to it
       of and tall his shapes
crumble in poison operation
        from bend and strangle
mountain to bones

strangle and operation
                        from **** foot underpass groans

                         begins

They smoke wide legs city and tall the streets
Delivering the cold grip-
                                             and bend
                               crumble in of his tall bones
                               the foot with on blood

blood highways and
all of concrete smoke

They with on center
Oversees poison

Alternating baskets of good fruit and bad fruit
the seeds are what we're after
and all we ever wanted
was a tree

to come to time after time and
have to call our own
the fruit is sweet as wine
intoxicating as sweet time

taking us away to a different place
while the world moves past us
outside the window of the car

it never feels as fast as it is

we slow down to accomodate
the feelings we're feeling
the dreamings we're dreaming

and the road keeps insinuating itself
under our wheels

another day
another dollar

and we hope the destination is worth it

I'm just trying to find a ride to work
so I'll have something to do today
and something to drink in two weeks

I suppose that's the farthest I'll look ahead from now on

That and the party that I know will happen on
such and such a date

Two weeks spent waiting
and slaving
for a paycheck trophy
that opens up the doors
of the convenience store

And I'll move in among the crowd
Purchase an egg sandwich
and a pack of smokes
and go along with the eternal drama
for one more day

I'd love to be on the outskirts right now,
when I have to do the grunt work

I'd love to be on the edge of the galaxy
watching it all spin and spiral
from afar

Appreciating the grand scheme of things

[This is key to my existence]

and I can easily get caught up
in the stubborn sighs
and drunken claims

but at the end of the day
I sit, and I wait

for the master plan to reveal itself

for the chance to say hello
to the person I think I am

for the chance to fall in love
just one more time

for the ocean to swallow me up
and tell me it's okay
to feel the way I feel
and that everything I do
is for the best

and I'll be nurtured by waves so sincere

and I'll be sure of myself for one more day

and I won't **** up the master plan
with incoherent human ramblings
on destiny and the way things have gone
and will go in the future

Do me a favor dear,
don't listen to a single thing I say
because I don't know a thing
and I know it

Just rock me to sleep so gently. . .

So slow that neither of us notice
the motion of the earth
spinning through space

So slow

that everything stands still

and I can finally rest

The road to the present has been paved in endless romances and heartbreaks

This idea of love has kept all of the actors motivated throughout

Though it rarely shows its true face to those involved

The face keeps changing but one thing is certain:

They can't keep their eyes off each other

Their motives have made sense to them long enough, at least

To bring new life into the world

Yes, it does seem to be an **** from afar-

Countless lovers intertwined

Paired together in fleeting moments of ecstasy

The weight of all creation is on their shoulders

But they don't feel it

Because all is as it should be

In all of these romances, heartbreaks

and orgiastic expressions

Is a fragment of the whole of this

Endless love affair.

She had dead eyes



                   not inert



but     beyond     life



A hunger drove

her           stare



A    fire    burned

hotly underneath

I thought you were love

          a guess, based on the
          way you stood without fear
          and fed me mushrooms
     in the laundry room

     a chase ensued, I followed you to
     the corner to buy some cigarettes
     making sure I didn't so much as
           think about the hounds

I averted my eyes, heard a sweet
     sad song for a moment
     and when I looked up
     you were holding up the
                                 heavens

I could love this
I do love this
Maybe it was a sign
Or maybe it was the fungus

I lie awake

Shaking your chemicals
out of my system

like a lovesick
fiend

gypsy pack
of seagulls
   set up their
   winged city
   on the surface
   of the water

the lights of the city
are replaced
by two
   thousand

black holes
of birds eyes

and the snow feathers
of squawking multitudes

later- darkness falls
the gulls set
no fires

all that can be heard
on shore is the chatter
of birds
               talking
                in their sleep

got the lights on in the middle of the night
i can taste sorrow in my teeth
where you tongue used to be

its not my job to say whats right
but your love is such a burden
it'll chase me to my sleep

singin songs to **** the time
and the clock is overbearing
its a ****** in my eyes

fillin glasses with my shine
packin up my bags with stones and seashells
and a notepad of my rhymes

i'm goin too far
i'm runnin to my car
and i'm swallowin the gasoline

I'm breathin deeply
i'm wishin on a star
and i'm pickin up a high school dream

I'm not about to call your name

We are the destroyers



We are what you fear



We come to give you hope

      and let you know

                  the end is near



The end of separation



The end of what you fear



We have come to show you love



We come because the end is near





                  

*Song of The Reaping:

"Me and my girl are gonna bring in the new age

Me and my girl are gonna break down the wall

Me and my girl are gonna dance through destruction

                                               and laugh as ashes fall"

"We'll die together" says Pandora



"Our fates have been intertwined" I tell my Kalika



She screams and stomps the floor in

                                        ecstatic dance



Our love marks the beginning of the end

There are so many ghosts
      packed into this single moment

We've built this empire
      over the broken bones
         of yesterday's leaders

Our old labor force
      rests under our fort

And they all want to come up
      to the top and
         roam these city streets

They want to see
      through your eyes

Taste with your tongue

And
       Feel with your skin

They want your life

           Realize,
                        You're dead inside

In the sense that
a whole universe of stars
       plants,      animals     and     lovers
          had to die to get you
          where you are

Do you remember
        how badly you wanted this life
            when you were on the other side?

And what is it to you now,
        just a new way to waste some time?

           Realize,
                        You're dead inside

All alone
we speak
and act
in droves

Black dots
on the page
forming
a newspaper
cutout image

my face falls apart in front
of yours, mechanical lips failing
to communicate-
                      
                      buzzsaws from my
mouth flow out to cut through

suspended in time
   you look so calm, contained
   but I know that your mind
   screams

   in its glass dome, it sees-
just as mine snarls and explodes
from its container,
            
             tail-whipping the truth of
gear-teeth bending and breaking


the machine descends into

a chaos

so complete that anyone

who sees

is never the same

.

saying goodbye to
a face, we realize
communication is
a clock, falling apart

metal moments hinge on
the open air between us-
   we curse and apologize

the wind in my sails got too strong
and my heart,
afraid of being discovered,

burst into pieces
of conversational quality

shake loose the circuits
that outshine
the electricity
of your thoughts
break them,
    
   grind them into dust
and wake up to new machines
made in light-filled factories

be still,
   i will look you
           in the eye

   and if you show me
your face,
                   I'll show
                   you mine

I've grown accustomed to the feeling
of never being able to rest

I fall asleep, troubled
and wake too soon
to the dramas
of life and death

[I thought I transcended
this a long time ago]

but, surprise!
there is more to learn
more work to do

There is another corner to turn
that will give me better grip,
[i tell myself this and believe it]

all of this is for the best....
the way I get caught up
every time a star shines
brighter than my soul

I forget everything and
I am one in the light
and darkness
again

I am an innocent child
in the arms of the mother
once again

Hoping, Praying
that the goddess will
wake up
to a new world
and claim an equal throne
to stop the destruction and madness
of the martian mindset

This red stained rusted map
proves nothing

All the warrior needs
is love

And we will give it
selflessly

So that maybe, like them
we will stumble across
the reflection of ourselves,
as honest and true
as possible

And we will not censor
ourselves, through
brightest light
and darkest dark

We will not hide a single aspect
of ourselves

and I will gladly admit that half the time
I am a demon
Born of pride and power

And half the time
I try to find my wings
and live beyond the limits
of what I see in front
of me

I never believed my eyes
. . . not once

But I always believed
that
these chaos nights
of liquid despair
and makeshift relation
meant something more

I always held the belief that
I'd get where I was going
regardless of distraction

But now I'm not so sure

Because now I feel the pressure

of eternity in the checks and balances
of the dual toned grid
in which we all lie down
and sleep
in silent surrender

resigned to my fate-
I am the child
throwing his hands up
in the air

I am the moon
surrendering to the sun

Singing,
               "this little light of mine
                was never my own
                                  to shine"

It always belonged to the future

The dead souls

The great sages
and fountains of wisdom
that the world has yet to see

For she has yet to birth them

And she has yet to feel me. . .

The goddess of ideals and perfected imagination
who will wake up as I do

And look into my eyes

And realize

We've both been dreaming
for far too long

We haven't come too far
from those drunken nights
on the floor, eating gummy bears
infused with *****

or from stickering everything in the kitchen
so we know what names to call the appliances

         Not too far
         from those times spent
         lounging around the bedroom

         a dozen of us, head to foot
         and everyone toeing
         the border between
         honesty and vulgarity

Some hung like a tapestry on the wall
and some sat watching ****
in the corner

while the rest passed a bottle around
and smoked with the window
constantly open

         We haven't come too far
         from the late night
         liquor runs

or from smuggling bottles
out under our shirts
after-hours

Or from smuggling flasks
in on free pool night
when we were too broke
for ***** or fun

We haven't come too far
from spilling drinks
by the jukebox

Or going out back for a smoke

      Not too far from
      cleaning up the house
      after a party

      and throwing another one
      to celebrate

I’ve roamed these halls
for a thousand years

       With only the company
of silence and shifting walls

My dreams and demons come
to life before me

And now I face their
unreality-
                
                  Is this
a prison or a purpose?

    I travel on in uncertainty
the cold stone floor lends no
warmth and I expect from
it no sympathy-
                  
                           My map is
meaningless, but I travel on

I’ve roamed these halls
a thousand years with only
the echoes of ghosts to keep
me company-
                    
                   I journey to and
from the heart- From black
to white, with
               the multitudinous
                grays in between

My map is meaningless
but I travel on

I lie on my back-

    Girls walk around

                   taking pictures

    they say that the lighting

       makes them feel funny



The river water rushes

     swiftly and silently

             over the dam

and a scrolling marquee informs me that

TIME STANDS STILL

                                    . . . COMING SOON



I'm talking to you on the phone-

My senses tell me that you're far away

          but my spirit knows you're here...



You were here once

You must be here now



Ahh yes, of course-



You are still here

but you have changed form



Now you are three girls

              takng pictures

And one boy scribbling

               in a notebook



Your body has changed

to a skyline and a raging river



I can see everything from here-

I know just where I want to go

        but I can't go there yet...



It's going to take a little bit of time-

                    But if time stands still

                             How do I get to you?



The girls are holding up a white sheet

and the model girl is changing behind it

and I can hear her slippind out of her clothes



Some older ladies have entered the frame-

They hold a paper doll in front of a camera

                 and take pictures of it

against the yellow tinted windows



The girls are leaving-

They say that when they get outside

they're going to be like



"Woah... What is color?"



And I hope they're wrong

because everyone deserves

             to see these colors



Miniature people ride minature bicycles

across a miniature bridge that spans

a miniature river



Time stands still

She would do anything in her power

to    exert    her   will    over   death



                  She screamed

                               and wailed

                                      and moaned

                              as she danced



She stared through me

with those     black

                                 burning eyes



and smiled

                  when I put my hand

                       on her hip



She smiles as she burns this world away

Our love marks the beginning of the end

I just dont know what to do with myself when the days seem too familiar.
                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                 Everythings a little brighter,
                                                              bu­t the sunlight makes my shadow darker.

The average things bore me,

                                                      and as much as I love being anywhere, anytime...


I don't wish to appreciate mediocrity...                           I'd much rather pay tribute                    
                                     ­                                                          and enjoy the great moments
                                                         ­ 
                                                                ­                                                          that make me wonder
                                                                ­                                                                w­hat exactly it is that I am.


The times where I stand up on two feet and it feels so strange to be a human, so new.

The times when I lose myself in music and become it, through sound and motion.


                                                              ­        (I look down from above and smile inside)


There are times when I get into perfectly absurd conversations with homeless madmen,

                                                        ­                                             and we understand each other
                                                                ­       for a single tick of time next to a no parking sign.

I light his cigarette for him and we both fail to understand God, but we still stand
                                                                ­                                              in perfect confusion.

We prophesize, hypothesize, and then, like lighting, something comes and sweeps me away from the scene, and I'm lost again,

                                                        in a flurry of passion and perceived progression.


There are times when my heart is nearly bursting, flooding out to the world with the invisible blood
                 that flows  
                                         through every man,  
                                                          ­                       woman,
                                                                ­                                     child  
                                                       ­                                                             and tree.


This is when I feel the weight of the world on my chest,
                                                          ­            I get choked up
                                     and leave the room to get fresh air.

This is when I look into the eyes of another human and I see something new.
Something that wasn't there before,
                                                                ­ 
                                                               ­       and I can just feel the balance of our similarities
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                               and differences

and I can't help but wonder whats going to happen in the next ten seconds.


There are times when I come into the scene unprepared,
                        I improvise and stumble through my lines,


My blocking is off, my motion is absurd but somehow the show goes on.

The play of life never ceases to amaze the players


(who think they know what the play is about
                                                      but in reality
                                                      the audience is casting their vote on how it all will end)

These are the times when I feel something ancient, something timeless,
                                                                ­                                                       still present.


The source of the moment stretching back millions of years only to show up in a crowded room
                                                            ­                                                      in new clothes that fool the eye.


This guest is ever present, even if we refuse to approach and say hello.


These are the times when I can't look away from  what's in front of me.

                                                                ­                      
                                          ­                                             [ The light in your eye...

                                                               ­                          The simplest motion...]


These are the times when I lose control of my limbs
                                                 and let the music of the cosmos move me.


I'm a slave to light and sound, attracted to shiny objects and mystery.


(I could fall in love with you in seconds,
and never return to my old life again.)


These are the times when I feel so old but so new, a child in the womb of the world,

                                                         ­               imagined by an old man looking back from the grave.


These are the times when Love speaks to me as an entity, assuring me and chasing away my fears,
                                                          ­                                                                 ­                     
                                           ­                                    Saying-


"I am present in everything, everytime, everywhere-"


"-I am the life within death-"


"And If you truly live once,

feeling the weight of every mistake,

learning the lessons of this life,
         and losing yourself in all its passion,
              
               you will come to know me-"


"And if you truly live once...

                       you will live forever"

Listen to the dogs bark
Watch the lights turn on and off
Feel the dead streets flourish slowly

[A drink and a smoke
And it all makes sense]

To let my enemies devour each other

Let them devour themselves

While I flourish

It might sound conceited
but there is nothing in this world
more powerful than
a person who is
above all
their own person

And *******
I've got enough Me
to go around

I try to **** my ego
but it comes back twice
as strong
and for twice as long

I try to remember
that I am nothing

and I know nothing

But it's hard to admit
your own weakness

When your heart
is on fire

An all-white angel approaches

A pale-armed Athena to dress my wounds
in sympathy
                         She cannot stray from her war

For it is what she loves,
                                           and what she loves
                                                       is to burn
          
                               with an intensity reserved
                                              for the start of
                                          
                                something new

A clearing away of
                                     tired wisdom

Today, she runs her fingers
through my wild mind

Tomorrow, she walks alone
through sun scorched dirt,

              dry as the oldest bones

Everyone is *****, and no one
                  can escape the dust of time

But once in a while, she lets out a smile
                            that makes us feel new
                                            and clean

                                      like her

                        shining
                            ­          ivory
                                                 skin

Labradorite and northern lights
give motion to
sights unseen and sounds
heard in dreams

It seems I've been here
before, on these worn wooden floors

Neon lights beckoning me
through the next
                                 open door

I've been here before

My eyes have been sore,
looking for the prize in the lies

-Grab a rail drink
               for the times

I've failed too many times
to think that the rabbit
beats the snail

in the race of life

It's love, lust and strife from where
                  I'm sitting

and listening to my tongue
                         on the knife

and please don't be disillusioned
                           if I cut you

It only means that I love you

Toe to tip
This empty vessel
drip drip into the infinite

Blue sky day dream

Simple powers unslip
Dot eyes cross hearts
and hope to live

With the oh no
Magical wonder we grow

With a tip toe past the sphinx
he asked a riddle that none could adore
lost his nose and he hoped for more

Rip the great veil
Shimmering lights behind
No wonder we lose our minds
Caught in the act of a story unfolding

With the oh no
Magical wonder we grow

And have you found it?
The secret that hides in cedar
The ones you want to meet

Behind the great veil
Emotion wrapped up in time
No wonder we lose our minds

To the oh no
Magical wonder we grow

Though we stand on the shoulders of giants

We still reach

For there is always new fruit
And never an end to this tree

This is why we love and fight
This is why we birth and ****

We will become the giants we will
Or die at their feet as feed

headache headache
I kinda feel like I'm dying
here with the carpet
actively hurting my eyes

I've got more tremors
than a kevin bacon movie
and I really feel that I should stop drinking
100 proof alchol

is that how you spell it?

dumb dumb dumb
brain lost traction
on my body last night

I woke up with a hurt heart
and didn't know why

late for work, almost crashed my car
into the ditch every time I looked away from the road

I live in the arms
      of a goddess

My nose pressed into
      an ancient book

I find her here
and try to become her lover

      I try to become the only
      god worthy of loving
      the living image of this
      goddess

All seems like a dream
when I find myself near her
      flowing river hair and her
      golden skin that kings
      would **** for

Her voice rings through the
ether, telling me the ephemeral
       truth of the matter

It's all one big
                       sweet nothing

And I'm fine with nothing
       as long as I can spend
       this no-thing and no-time
       bewildered in her presence

I find her here
       in the twilight
       between worlds

At sunset    
                    and
                                 galaxy rise

I     am     made      weak      and
       irresolute    by    these    floating
          cloud memories

when the right
wind   blows   in   my  direction
   it   brings   your   scent   with it
      
       and    my     mind    travels     a
       thousand     miles     into      the
       past  

to   be   alone   with   you
in   that   room   with    strange
air  

and   a   box   of  car crash
                                     treasures

Moonshine drunk-
Water's skin dances
to Wind's song

Whispering moonlight
silence black night
A scream folded origami tight

So close
my moonlight
Repose
your dark fight

I'm cold
with feet still running

Soap my scratches
white flame my matches
my soul folded origami tight

so close my moonlight
repose your dark fight

I'm cold
with feet still running

so slow my branches
decay my dampness
blue skies they glow electric white

front of and show to buzzsaws
realize communication as screams them,
                        know you chaos so the curse breaking the to
and up you grind face, yours, face, your glass that conversational
we to a my contained them

anyone who look is a show bending thoughts
              break snarls buzzsaws and dust
     and the anyone who in tail-whipping
              wake tail-whipping into machines
made flow in grind calm, the us-

front of lips explodes from and look is a I
              I you bending calm, quality shake the circuits
              that time I'll between front of mechanical machine
from machine thoughts break we and hinge them
grind the calm,
                               being that apologize the face,

apologize the in I is a snarls time them air face,
              its you still, in in outshine the descends
              and face wind being we us-

front of dust and wind show my
to a the and explodes from look in in being same .

saying clock, me your moments got light-filled in
            and descends machine mechanical eye eye

She lifted the limp
wing of the crane

gingerly          Fallen
some days earlier,  it

had   been   fighting. Fighting
some  unknown  enemy  that  
can only be known to the rest
of  us  as  pain,  the  universal

enemy and binder of souls. Today
the crane stopped fighting. Finally
overcome   in   his    losing   battle
against broken wings, our story's

broken heart. As Viola sat by the fallen
bird,  she  sighed-  Not  the  sigh of the
broken-hearted,   but  the  sigh  of  the
sigh  of the  black bird  that  sits at the

edge of the battlefield
and   grows     weary
of the sight  of death

All things beautiful,
she  decided,  must
die along  with the
ugly   and   reviled

This great separator,
death,  unites us  all

The ship is sinking
but we still smile
at the sun
    
      We still laugh
even when the wind
   isn't at our backs

We know the storm
will rise bubbling
from the sea
(it will loathe
the day it meets me)

The ship is sinking
but we still smile
at the sun, knowing
that better days will come

We know someday
      the wind will fail,
    
        But we still
                            sail

Tarmac dreams of wheels
  
        spinning round a pine tree

Roadside buzzards pick the skin
      from the city and my eyes
                        
                       are burnt again

Every eagle has a hidden feather
                  and every fallacy a
                            hidden truth
                            
                           skin deep

and we beg the totem not
                           to show it

Flowers burst in the sun
exploding with dynamite
                               determination

They speak on swollen tongues

and my eyes are burnt again

I walked the path that wound
alongside the river

It was along this bend that settlers had their boats
dashed on the rocks by nature's unexpected fury

I wanted to see the river,
these rapids that turn the world,
this reminder of earth's power

So I stepped off the path
and headed down the bank
over rocks and bushes

And aside from the static white noise
of water, the first thing to greet me
at the edge was a cross

Two simple sticks, with a ribbon
draped over its outstretched arms

The unmistakable symbol of a life lived
and a life lost

The only thing between me and the rushing water
was this
               monument
                                     to
                                           mortality

For some reason
this terrified me more
than any man-made disaster can

This was nature,

Pure and indifferent

My mind wandered to the obvious void

This space that used to be occupied
by a living, breathing being

Someone with fears and joys of their own
Someone who had seen things and known people
Someone who had stood where I am standing right now

But who were you?

And who missed you?

What was your name?

What did you love?

Did you fall?
Or did you leap into the waiting arms of the river?

Were you afraid, as I am, standing here
just inches away from something that can't be controlled?

I have so many questions that will never be answered,
except by the deafening rush of water, and the

Cold spray of mist at my face

Life floats

     and Love flies

Between the uninhabited spaces



An empty cellar

Protected by an old wooden                  

       door



Dust-- I smell lighting

       in the air



        Return to me

        Return with your

        shining eyes and your

        empty head



Another love flashes by in

the narrow sunbeam

      and now it seems

      I've spent an eternity

      searching

                      for that spark



      An eternity

          in Love

I've got enough wax rhetoric
to fill a pail
      and then
            fill it again

with ideas, words

& cheap inconsequential

         garbage

                 Shall I paint it
                 and call it
                 shiny new?

I'll call it lawn trimmings
      to the jungle
I'll call it house cats
      to the lion

It's a small word
in a small world
  
   - But fate has a way
       of magnifying these
         types of things -

Call it a misadventure

Starving,
                call them
                 hungry ants
                 to climb your leg
                 and all you want is
  
                 to lie down and forget

The   sting  
                   is   like  
                                 raindrops

i'll be there when paranoia eats you alive
you karma stricken beast

when loneliness is a plague
on human hearts
and frost tipped branches
come to claim you
and wrap you up
in their casket embrace

that's what you get
for living the low life
and caring for nothing
but yourself

no love
no pity
nobody

Here I lie-
  
        A corpse
        with a mouth full
         of jewels

I can say nothing
   about what is really
        important

Listen to the flies as
   they surround me,

They eat from my hand
   and are never
   poor or lonely for
      they dine on my
      secrets, and sing
      of my life

With sunshine
trapped forever
in my diamond
                 tooth, I will
                 tell you
                 how to
         never be poor
         or lonely

But I can say
nothing about
what is really
       important

I spent a lifetime learning,
yearning for the closeness
of another human body
pressed close to mine
for a time

Craving the touch of skin...
The smell of hair in my face

And the
s p a c e s
shared between fingers and toes

The small things sing
and the big worries are left behind

-I rewind-

And keep writing til I know what I'm feeling

Keep drinking til I know why I'm reeling

From the years and fears and
I know why it turned out like this
but I don't know how it'll turn out
                                        in the end,

but I'll be waiting there my friend

With modern recepticles for
trash and noise and
everything will go in its proper place

I'll have a filing cabinet for a face,
and my sense are all the paper places
                                                I've been

[And I will remember your knowing stare
                                      The touch of skin...]

                                There's no game to win
                                            ...No race to finish

Let go of your fur coat, dear

Drop your necklace in the gutter
and leave your heels on the sidewalk
for the next lonely soul to fill

With another night of the mayhem of existence
and things we couldn't wait for

Broken glass on the floor
and dust on our ears

Hearing new things
as they arise

I know it's not just a fiction,

this thing, we see but seldom recognize


This isn't my creation,

not yet, not quite yet..


It's an unspoken love for what kills us,

this touch unseen with roses and smoke


The winter melts away,

and reveals our armor to us


Spring comes

and makes us want to cry


This is all I've wanted,

this recognition..


I won't let you sink,

Won't let you go under


Not so soon,

we haven't reached our destination


The summer sun comes to show us,


That we're all just walking each other home

A drunk mind and a heavy heart combine here
sifting through visions of smiles and tears
unique to our years, we've been here all along

We've imagined a song unsung
we've exchanged these words unspoken
through the silent stares and precious glances

A flame dances through the night sky,
I take a drink and wonder why
it seems like nothing's changed*


[Sunday, March 21st]

Spring came and opened my eyes
to new streets on which the numbers
sang and everything made sense for once

I saw your face for what seemed like the first time

the books on my shelf had rhythm and rhyme,
I saw your face for the first time

I was born there in that bed, howling  with a desire to not exist,
I find it odd that it should come to this

Howling in the night, laughing, crying
Running through the early morning mist
With visions of a new day

This isn't the way I had it planned
My legs feel new on the ground I stand on
but this isn't the way I had it all figured out
in my head

It's been two years..
It's been an eternity..

Things made perfect sense once..
And then never again did I see such unity
in the passing of notes,
the passage of time,
and the love unseen by human eyes

I just want to see that perfection,
once more, before I leave this world

I want to see your face again,

I want to go back to that place where
everything made sense,

But you weren't there,
you were the many pages lining the walls
of my catacombs,

You were the twilight between the night and day,

You were the crumpled sheets I curled into,
crying, and wondering what I did wrong

You were the music that woke me up,
I opened my eyes for once,
and saw the spring time for what it was

All the work we had done in silent
through the winter nights
was for naught, she came
with gifts that can't be bought

I started smoking again that morning,
the first day of spring,

I decided that I should do what I want
with this new life of mine

I walked the city streets,
smiling, and waiting
for sundown to come

So I could see your face
for the first time