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Somewhere along the line I broke my internal compass.
Already inhaled our poisoned water, fearful of not reaching the surface.
Never knowing the right direction, leaves me left alone.
Done so much to weather this body, not as clear cut as a broken bone.
I just feel I want to go that way.
Eye see what I want - stumble, blackout, and stray.

Script already written, but the characters are constant variables.
Knowing everything in our heads is all malleable
Reading in between the lines searching for guarantees,
Feelings come influx.. and then slowly flee

Anchor me down to anything.

Sinking into a black tar pit abyss, wondering when I'll leave.
But maybe my soul was always meant to roam foreign zones, alone, free.
It's in moments like these where to thoughts I feel shackled to, can't release.
It becomes a hassle to feel happy, struggling to properly breathe.

Maybe no world is the same as yours
Each path has perfectly placed locked doors,
That's as individual to you as what you soak into your pores.
Getting *****, but we still want more.

It'll soon be time to graduate from our physical capabilities,
But man, how did I go so long without seeing the synchronicities?

I bleed red, I'm tired, but true.
I can't bridge past the fact that I don't know if this is for me or you.

My monster of malice,
Helps me hold high, the aluminum chalice.
Knowing these roads don't help feed my head,
Left Alice in bed for the next adequate depressant threshold
Draining my spirit and the malicious comes back-
Writing down symbols, using me as a vessel.

This dream of a life can be stressful
My walls I am enclosed in has become a mess hole.
Halls with trophies that look much like alcohol bottles.. oh wait.
Little victories! - I'm still here.
Make the liquid disappear so you can see the skewed you a little more clear.
I make the art of dying look so graceful,
Just hoping before the expiration date I left you with something tasteful.

My genes are tearing at the seams.
Glittered with fractured beams of half- hope
Slipped down the rope before I saw the light
Shining down on disappointment.
Been joyously walking to the liquor store for my alcoholic ointment.

Too much cancer, fresh internal scars, and airbrushed perspectives.
It's too bad we mostly only look at our exterior when being reflective.
*** becomes a place where we can forget.
It happened for more than hormones, yet many tend to regret.
People can run off course and divorce themselves when ******* leads to remorse
But the choice is yours.
Then we develop new feelings whether intended or not.
A home for new wounds, just waiting to clot.

We're simply riding through life chemically imbalanced,
Happiness turns to madness, sadness, numb.
Jumping from this feeling to that, this person to them.
Firing more into the overworked synapses that overreact through connection
When you clash with your mind, and embody all it's destructive four course meals
It eventually takes control over your entire life, robbed blind, an easy steal.
Peel away each sentence, and bask right now in the surreal,
Make a deal to be your divine self and let the soul show ya what's real.

In these very limited bodies, currently, time is currency. *
With your unlimited potential act purposefully-
Spend the ticks wisely to enrich your soul.
Mind plays tricks from time to time, never let it have control
Open your third eye and dare to be bold
Strengthen vibrations with intent to share the love
and you'll be riddled with appreciation without deviation,
From the heaven within us all, to the heavens above~

But I trust our spirits know our way around the blueprint.
Despite the many unseen forces, forever at play.
Look deeper into the depths like an enthusiastic student
**Reality is just a matter of what you believe; namaste~
terrestrial siren call out
to me with your irresistible
song, ground me on the Earth
in the clouds, alone, I will go mad
alone without your melodies
to lure me back to a port
where I can furl my sails
and rest in your grounding solace

a song unlike the siren songs
Odysseus heard strapped to the mast
to resist temptation—he had only Penelope
while I have only you

you pull my ship back on course
away from the tangents I am prone

I want nothing more
than to bring
you aboard my ship
I know your telos
is rooted amidst the Earth
to heal and flourish
the ailing land
my telos to sail the sky
charting the heavens in search
of a key to turn the tumbler
of the lock to the universe

it tears my heart to be away
from your terrestrial song…

know: you will always be the port
where I return—for no reason other
than to hear your sweet song

one day, I will
roll my sails
un-step my mast
let the shrouds
hang loose
anchor my ship
permanently out
in the waters
of the celestial bodies

walk upon the Earth amongst trees, plants, and rock
rooting myself alongside you—ears open, listening,
solace in your song, in the port we built together
This is a revision of Sonnets from a Celestial Mariner to a Terrestrial Siren
Tons of thoughts.
All of them without sense,
captivates the mind
of someone wandering around.

Wandering around the world.

Wandering in between two sides.
Good or bad,
death or life.
What would you choose ?

Ask yourself what would you choose...

If your life were a complete disaster,
if all the morning you doubt about you,
if you not recognize yourself anymore,
if you regret your existence.

No, no because a specific reason.
Just think about fell emptiness ,
about feel nothing.
Cause that is the worst you can feel.

Eyes full of tears,
a heart full of deception,
a life full of emptiness,
and the opportunity to choose just one side.

*-Paola M.R.B
 Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts
Lizzy
I close my door
Reach for my blade
And begin the routine motions
That now feel meaningless
Like my black and white past

I still look for silly reasons
Any excuse
To justify my actions

Just to get a quick feeling
Of anything at all
Even if that means it will hurt
Because if I'm numb for much longer
I might just...
At the end of the day
at least i tried
i'm more than okay
i gave it a shot
and maybe i missed my target
but what was i aiming for?i forgot
and everything will be alright
i will  let this  go
i will let you go
now it's over
i'm finally done
and it's hard to decide if
my battle was won
but now it's over
it's a little bittersweet
i'll have to find a new path
for my wandering feet.
May my life to you Lord
Be an open book
As you put your pen to paper
And give it a lasting look

Fill it with all the wonders
Of your glory page by page
Let me show a childlike innocence
As it is written day by day

An adventure, not a mystery
When it comes to knowing you
Base on fact, not on fiction
Not on lies but filled with truth

And when the final chapter is written
No matter how long the book may be
Let the title be "Your Glory"
And every chapter my great need
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