drunkonthoughts: Favorites

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

vik

There is bullet in my chest,
blood is oozing off my vest,
I can see the glorious crest,
I know,I did my best.

There are arms all around me,
the barrels are smoking,I can see,
there is less sound reaching my ears,
I have lost all my fears.

They drag me to a tree,
resting under it,I shall be free,
I have my gun in one hand,
and in the other,smiling,you stand.

In my wallet there are your picture,
covered in gunpowder and moisture,
I rub away all the dust,
I shall see them all,it's a must.

I can see you far and distant,
hazy it gets,as time is spent,
you extend your arms and shout my name,
I smile and your eyes rain.

I can feel your hands,on my cheek,
your kiss on forehead,makes me weak,
your warmth is easing the pain,
I think you understand,
the loss......and the gain.

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Say What I Want to Say?

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Alastur Berit

Say What I Want to Say?

But what if I want to say just
I like you.
Your eyes, how I can feel a core rigid beneath all your play
As if you've condensed all your jokes into something of substance,
like a diamond.
That I want to compare you to a diamond. that when I see you're home I get
happy.
That I'm spending a week away and half, at least
of what I'm going to think about is you.
That when I tell you my problems you actually have
something to say that makes me feel better.
That I look forward to your door like a bird
looks forward to the dawn so it can finally sing.
That I've started dreaming about you?
Should I really say what I want to say?
I want to keep this light,
cookies and cream against rich chocolate delight-
the beginning rays of dawn against midnight.
The drift of ink on paper against novels and history books.
You
Can I say what I want to say?
I want to know you slowly.
Like learning the horizon in a certain spot,
by waking up every morning and learning
how the dawn shapes the skyline of a city
learning every brick in that city.
But not in a frenzy.
I'd like to explore your depths... casually.
Too heavy?
Back off, just a moment.
I want to watch the light off your skin in
a thousand shades of day a thousand
angles to watch.
Back to the diamond thing.
Should I say what I want to say?
Telling you this would only seal you in,
a primer of expectations letting you know not what
color it will be but that soon some shade
will be applied to
you and I and I'd rather just
appreciate the color there now, rather than try and
paint you into some fairy tale I'll spin
expectations onto, the trailing cape of
a prince or the weighted click
of a clock over the course
of years, I don't want to tell you how this is going
to go in my mind before we get there I want to watch
the story unravel like the colors at dawn
behind a cityscape I haven't learned yet.

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Questions

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

babydulle

Questions

There are so many things I want to know
And most of the time my unanswerable questions awaken themselves early in the morning
Like a young child vying for attention way past his bed time
Or asking around like he’s gotten lost in Ikea
“Have you seen my mum?”
“Why am I still suicidal?”
“Why doesn’t he love me back?”
“How the **** do you put this chair together?”
It will never be strong enough to hold what’s in my head.
No offence to the shop - it’s not their fault I’m unstable.
I keep wondering whether this is normal,
This constant existential crisis I suffer from
I ask the doctor,
My therapist,
My best friend,
The boy who invites me with a wink to his empty house over facebook,
As if any of them could help me understand why I’m uncomfortable in my own body
As if God made my skin in a size too tight
Less material is cheaper
So why am I still having to pay for anti-depressants
I tend to sway towards the clichés
Picture this
An overcast joyride
Staring out of the window
Glum expression
Absorbed in depression
You’ve got me in the rule of thirds
First: I’m a time bomb of sweet nothings and childhood anecdotes and picture reels of melancholy summers spent in back gardens and dim rooms.
Second: I don’t know whether I’m going to make it out of this. You can have my scraps of journals and make of it what you want. Make a suicide note out of manuals I never threw away.
Third: I’m a teenage tragedy,
Drowning in questions that even the sea cannot answer anymore.

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

The Room

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Jaimee Michelle

The Room

There was a room
There were tons of people
You stood out in the crowd to me
It was a room full of people
When you spoke you caught my attention
Your words rang true to me
I just wanted to talk to you
But, I wasn't looking for more than a good conversation
We both left the crowded room
And went our separate ways

That same night
I walked into a situation I didn't think I'd walk out of
I stared into the face of the devil
He pushed me to my breaking point
Almost broke me
But, I escaped... Barely
But, I remembered you from the room and our talk
So I sent you a message
We began chatting
Just simple innocent talk
At first you didn't even seem interested, and I was desperate for a distraction from the devil
That was truly it
You eventually warned up and we talked more everyday
I went back to the room and it was the same but, you weren't there
I frowned but went on my way

Then one Friday night everything changed
As awkward as it was, we finally got together
We talked and laughed until 5am
Then you brushed your hand against my leg and let it linger
Trouble was in your eyes with sweet shyness in your smile
If you asked me a year ago on march 19th, if I thought you would ever matter so much to me..
I'd of called you crazy
Our relationship was a worldwind
Good times always fly by
It was over before I had a chance to tell you how much you met to me
You changed my life
You were unlike anyone I'd ever known...
Then you changed

You left
Abrupt
Cold
Full of lies and for her
The messages I read between you and her broke my heart
We were still sleeping in the same bed
But, she was taking my place
I struggled for a clean break
I couldn't stay away and you didn't protest
You weren't with her often, so more you were with me
We became glued at the hip all over again
I still laid on your chest at night
Rubbed your back
Secret kisses
In those moments I'd forgotten
I'd forgotten I was slowly being forgotten, and there was no longer an us
I was so heart broken every time I was without you
The thought of her made me furious
What about her was so great?
How'd she mess up our beautiful painting?
How could you do that, and just let me watch?
How could you end things, beg me to stay, when you knew I wanted to leave?

Your blind eye to everything
Lips sealed when I asked questions
But, you had to know you were calling for my attention just as much
You were just fine being with her
And stringing me along behind her back
If I was worth the risk of you losing her, why wasn't I worth another chance with you?
I pleaded with you all the time
It wasn't enough..
But, I couldn't let you go
I haven't let you go

You changed my life that night I met you in the room
Long talks
Cuddling at the movies
Driving on star filled nights
Listening to you snore slightly beside me at night
Those are all just faded memories now
Just like the night we both shed tears and tightly embraced when you moved away
Distance either breaks you or bring you closer together
It eventually broke us
She moved in with you
You made a choice that shattered us
And we can never be fixed
But, ill never forget
It's been months since I've been in the rooms
But, I often wonder what life would be like
If you hadn't been in the room that night
Or if you'd never spoke
Because if you'd never spoke in that room
My attention you would've never caught

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Shiny love

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Prabhu Iyer

Shiny love

This object from high followed me
all evening. Sometimes, hiding behind
giant reeds shooting from the earth,
sometimes behind mist sprays.

The sea surging in the firmament
conceals it in her tresses now,
She who weeps her agony out
late every season in bereavement.

Her tears have filled up the valleys
on earth, with brackish waters.
Tonight the grilles that paint
the distance grey are wet by them.

I took a secret look, turning away
blushing on sudden reciprocation.
In the broken mirrors strewn
all over my lawn, it dunks winking:

ripples on the mirror, awash abashed:
light playing with shades of
delight, dejection, elation, suspension,
pulsation, susurration, salvation.

Notes at my blog: http://sineinverse.wordpress.com/2013/12/18/towards-an-abstract-impressionism/

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

When a friend forgets...

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Amrita Dutta

When a friend forgets...

When a friend forgets,
the world crashes around you.
When a friend forgets,
you feel despair brew.
When a friend forgets,
joy into sorrow turns.
When a friend forgets,
your insides agonize and burn.
When a friend forgets,
Life seems unfair.
When a friend forgets,
you no longer can bear.

For it was that very friend,
whose shoulder was yours, to cry on.
That very friend
who made dusk seem like dawn.
That very friend who held your hand.
The very friend who helped you float to land.
From the very depths of distress
the one who helped overcome all stress.

Today that support, my sole strength is amiss.
What can I do to try and erase this?
All I can do is hope and pray
while trying my best to keep the tears at bay.

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

12.18

Dec 2013 drunkonthoughts

Megan Grace

12.18

jesus christ we are not
a mistake. we are not
simply two people with
colliding paths- we were
made for this (this love,
this heartbreak) by the
fingertips of what you
told me once was a man
named Destiny and his
partner Fate. because
you and I, we are bigger
than the walls that define
love. we have been called
home by longing mouths
and collapsing ribcages, by
the string connecting my
stomach to your left lung.
there's no way this was
all some cosmic accident.