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authentic Apr 2015
I want to love you better than I once did
I want to love you like a prayer that for which no words exist
I want to show you parts of me I have kept hidden, the beautiful ones
I want to brush the knots out of your hair,
work the knots out of your back
I want to hear a love song on the radio and have your face come to mind
I want to sing them to you when you are feeling alone
I want to always remind you that you are not
I want to love you like the sun rises, slowly, stretch wide
Grow taller, spend more time, give and not take
I am interested in the way you take your coffee, what makes you laugh, what makes your pupils dilate, what keeps you going on
I want to be the someone who will make you feel like the stars were a roof of a home that I built specifically for us to gaze at when eye contact was broken
I want to touch you like pen to paper
I want to breathe you in like summer air
I want to listen to your heartbeat like it is the sound of a drum
I want to love you more than anything I have ever wanted to love
But some people do not believe in second chances
If only life were a t-shirt and we could iron out the creases
I have learned that hard way that it is not
So if you ever wake up and you wonder if I still love you
I do, and I do more than I ever have before
And I want to show you
If you would only let me
authentic Apr 2015
"Stay for just a while," I say, "just for tonight, we can make this work if you give me a chance."
He sits there quietly looking down at his hands, he glances at the watch I gave him for his birthday
"Okay, fine," he manages
I reach across the table to grab his hands, he reluctantly lets me in
Tomorrow I know he will leave with the taste of coffee that was not sweet enough branded on his tongue
I did not put enough sugar to make him want to stay here
Tomorrow he will walk out as if he never knew me, as if I were a stranger he glanced at on the street
But for now, I curl up in his arms and kiss his neck just before he falls asleep
"We could make this work," I mumble, "I swear we could."
I want to stay in the crevice between his chest and arm forever
He drifts to sleep and slowly I am fatigued but refuse to rest
I do not want to waste any of the time I have the chance to look at you
Tomorrow he will pack his bags and say goodbye
It will be as if we never shared a thing together
The late night phone calls of you telling me how when you got home late, your parents were asleep
The lingering of our lips as our breath stood hot and still in the space between us
"I have to go now," he will say, "please try to understand."?and I will try to understand but I just can't
The light beaming in from the kitchen window has never looked so grim
I try to think of a way to convince him that the weather is too bad to walk outside
But it isn't, it's beautiful out and he has every reason to leave me
I thought that if I told him I missed him, that I wanted this one more time
That everything would turn around and that he would say he still loved me
He shuts the door behind him and I have never felt it more
That he doesn't
authentic Apr 2015
Every day, it never fails
I get a twisting feeling in my stomach
Like dropping a boulder from my chest
Onto my kidneys
A stirring feeling churning my organs
I feel as if I cannot breath due to dramatic change of weather
This always happens when I think of you
Think back on the feeling of the dragging of your palms, tickling my skin
Remember what it felt like to never wear a seatbelt
Because I would rather have been closer to you than safe from calamity
Sort through the recollections locked away in my mind
I have never wanted to set free a criminal so badly
I know they will only do harm but I just have to see them one more time
These memories are a distant relative now
One I was once so close to that moved away
It is a waste of money to come back here but I am willing to pay the expenses if it means another chance to convince them to stay
This feeling in my stomach is like a tornado in an ocean
I cannot shield myself from it because everything looks the same way
Every thought of you is the same
They are all simply reminders that you are gone
How do you tell someone that they taught how to look as a seed and see a flower
Now they are blooming in someone else's garden
And this feeling is my stomach
Just might be the feeling of plants being pulled
From their roots
authentic Apr 2015
I am afraid to love someone else
With the fear of them kissing me
And realizing my lips are the remnants
Of the last boy who loved me
Fear he will never be sure if my closed eye hunger
Was real or from practice
Fear that he will be scared
Of the no trespass sign on my body
I am afraid to love someone else
Because I still love you endlessly
authentic Apr 2015
You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out
Your mind wanders into oblivion and you wonder if his hands still feel your warmth when it gets cold out
If the folds between your bed sheets feels the same as a bonfire he now sits around with someone else
The sound of her inhale and exhale is his new song
I do not mind that he is happy though I wish I were still a part of it, some days it does not matter but on most it does
Trying to avoid feelings that are unavoidable
Is like believing you can live forever
Fooled myself into thinking he was my fountain of youth
But I have found myself drowning in a flood that provided no warning signs, no television broadcast
Water showings up without RSVP
I can hear your voice in the silence, feel your breath in the crevice of my neck on the way home
I can still see you, even with the lights out
I am afraid of what I will see when I turn them on
authentic Apr 2015
I want to describe to you everything that you are
So you will consider
Letting us redefine what it means to start over
We can relay the foundation better this time
We can stand beneath the sky and wait for the planets to shape themselves around my newly intertwined bodies
You are the first drop of rain in a hurricane
You are the misunderstood tragedy
You are striking lightning slicing open the dark with luminous allure
You are coloring everything outside the lines
You are the poem everyone feels they should reread
You are the stem from a root planted in the belief that you have done something wrong in some way
You have not done anything wrong
I want to show you everything I failed to reveal before
Open new doors, let the cool breeze some in from my bedroom window, anything to make you want to stay here
My world is waiting for you to set it on fire
So whenever you're ready
Tell me that you miss what it feels like
To light a match
  Apr 2015 authentic
Savannah Charlish
I'm tired of writing about a boy who doesn't even remember he loved me
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